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Old 22-01-2016, 10:34 PM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2016

I recently self harms again after over 4 months of it not happening and I ended up confiding in my best friend. She worries about me and suggested we go together to talk to a teacher I'm quite close to about it which we did. This teacher had to pass it on to my head of year who then rang my parents. The discussion did not go well and my parents got quite mad and upset with me when I couldn't explain how I was feeling. They already are constantly checking up on me and asking to check my wrists etc but even though I didn't tell them I've self harmed again, they still got really annoyed. I understand that my school had to contact my parents the first time it happened and I confided in someone bcausr I was under 16 and it was the first time, but since my parents have been informed beforehand, I didn't think they'd need to keep being told every time I confide in this teacher I trust. I see an outside counsellor in my free period every other week and she has promised that everything we talk about will be confidential. She has said that she will never tell me not to self harm if it is a way of coping, but she will help me explore other/better ways of coping. She told me that she disagrees with school ringing parents all the time and told me I may be best not speaking to teachers about it, in case they contact my parents again. I understand what she means and I agree that it doesn't really help the situation, but I feel comfortable confiding in this particular teacher and she is only following school rules. What do you think I should do???

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Old 24-01-2016, 02:26 AM   #2
Too Shy
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Join Date: Jun 2007
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It is very difficult for schools, because they are in loco parentis when you are there - they have a duty of care and so they do sometimes have policies like informing your parents and speaking to them if they're aware that you've self-harmed.

Having said that, I don't necessarily agree with your counsellor. If you feel comfortable confiding in this particular teacher it's really good to have that support. When you talk to the teacher, is it possible to talk about some ways to help you cope at school (or home) without self-harming. It may be that if they can help you manage or find some strategies to cope there, that they may not feel the need to ring your parents so often.

Could you ask your teacher what she thinks the best thing to do is?

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