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Old 15-09-2020, 09:22 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2019
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the shattered life (major trigger warning: sh,abuse, sucide)

the shattered life
by: darkwings44
( this story is also on my wattpad )
chapter 1

as the sun was rising its bright light had not yet rose enough to fill its light in my still dark as night room with its light. As i got dressed i tried not to think of what i was. As i got my backpack ready for school my mom called me for breakfast "ok! im coming mom thank you!!!!" i said. As i was lost in my thoughts my dad yelled out" quit staring at your food and be normal for once!!! Do you want to to go back in the hospital??! huh!!!" i shook my head no... with its lock downs, its rules and hurtful people.... i dont want to go back in the hospital... not now and not ever......

After i ate breakfast i got my favorite music on my headphones and got on my black as despair and sliver as a razorblade bike and as i rode off to school i thought of what it would be like if i disappear into nothingness no more sadness, no more emptiness, no more hiding behind fake smiles and fake happiness, no more hurt...... but most of no more life.......just me fading away in the abyss of death.......

As i entered the classroom for 4th period the whispers filled the room. then all eyes targeted me. i started to walk to my seat.. then all of a sudden i felt someone trip me and i fell down to the ground. "ha ha ha! Have a nice time at hospital freak!!!" said one kid "every one of us knows what you did to yourself!!!!!" said another kid "try harder next time you just might die! we all hope you do!!!!" said yet another one..... Fighting back the tears from my eyes i stood up just then the teacher walked in the class and said "everyone quiet please. class is starting." i went to the back of the class... i sat in my desk and laid my head against the cold hard wall and once again was lost in my thoughts........

when the bell rang i slowly joined the ocean of people in the hallways while most of them go to lunch i went to the only place i felt safe..... the library. with all of its shelves of many books and its hiding places to go read its the only place where im not bothered by people. As i got all my favorite books some of them slipped out of my hands and fallen to the ground. i felt so stupid that i messed up again... "hey need any help with your books?" someone softly asked i replied" yeah...... um sure..." unsure of the motives behind the question, usually people dont talk to me here except for the librarians they so nice to me here.....

As she picked up the books she smiled shyly and said "my name is kaci what is your name?" i couldn't believe how beautiful she was!!! she was a medium girl with long brown curly hair with a black streak at the left side of her hair and she was wearing black long sleeves and black pants on "um....hi im zoey...... " i said quietly. "Do you mind if i look at your books?" she asked "sure!" i said gladly this was the first time I've seen another person like the same books as me!

"which ones?" i asked "this one thats my favorite book..." she said. i replied" its mine too!!! i think that the ending is quite puzzling though because the reader doesnt truly know what happens to the main character in the end..." "me too!!! although im leaning towards the ending being death why wouldnt the character do it!!! for one i know how it is be hurt by people everyday..... its pure hell......" while she said those last words i saw the same pain in her eyes as i do my own "look... youre not alone im also being hurt by alot of people everyday...... have you heard of east brooks hospital? i asked full of determination of making sure she doesnt feel alone as i do right now but also fear that she may not be who she says that she is....... "yes......... i went there for depression...... a few years ago why?"

"i also was there for a month then i went to the excel center of friends shade for out patient group therapy a few weeks ago because i failed at my death" i told her she then wrapped me in her arms in a big hug i think that i found my new safe place in her arms then suddenly the bell rang "hey lets get each others phone number" she said quickly getting out her phone.. i did as well after we got each others number we both said goodbye and with that i not only left with books i left with the only friend i have.....

Last edited by Darkwings44 : 15-09-2020 at 10:23 PM. Reason: added more to it

just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....

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Old 16-09-2020, 12:39 AM   #2
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Well done! Your story line is easy to follow and it’s clear you really connect with your characters and their experience on a personal level. Maybe work on your grammar and sentence structuring in order to develop it further?

*Proud Plumeria Sister*

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Old 16-09-2020, 02:13 AM   #3
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thank you so munch!!!! *hugs you*
ill try!! =)

just another floating iceberg in this ocean we call life....

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Old 16-09-2020, 12:07 PM   #4
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It sounds really good and progressional, how much have you written so far

Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.

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Old 16-09-2020, 03:35 PM   #5
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thank you!!!
ive written alot so far i wanted to shorten the chapter so i could post more ahead of time!!

Last edited by Darkwings44 : 16-09-2020 at 04:20 PM. Reason: changed a word

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Old 16-09-2020, 08:46 PM   #6
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UPDATE! im working on chapter 2 (its going to be a very triggering one so be safe ok?)

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