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Old 20-07-2019, 02:58 PM   #661
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I told him my day had been "awful" but that obviously wasn't enough.

Thanks I think I'm just gonna leave it til Monday and see what happens. It's not like the staff seem to care about how I'm feeling anyway and they haven't even been doing their checks properly I've been left for over 2 hours. I really don't see the point in being here.

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Old 20-07-2019, 03:41 PM   #662
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It can be really lonely being on a ward and the only human interaction being that moment they do checks. Are there any ward activities on this weekend that you could join in with? What if you made a decision to seek out a member of staff today to ask for a chat? It's fair enough if you decide to wait for Monday but you might feel more supported if you have a chat with someone this weekend too.

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Old 20-07-2019, 04:58 PM   #663
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Thanks for understanding. Yes it's so lonely and boring especially cause it's the weekend. There were 2 groups on this morning but that was it and didn't fancy either of them. I've been talking to another patient but it's hard when we both feel so low. They seem to be very short staffed today. I just give up. My parents don't even care anymore.

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Old 20-07-2019, 07:01 PM   #664
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Why do you feel like your parents don't care? Do you have anyone you can phone to have a chat with?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 20-07-2019, 07:21 PM   #665
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My mum left without saying goodbye yesterday. My Dad was meant to visit today but hasn't bothered. They've hardly been in touch with me. No I have no one to call. It's so hard.

My favourite nurse came in my room earlier. She was kinda lecturing me. Said she thinks by me suddenly socialising or taking meds or eating or doing groups it's just so that I can get out to kill myself. She doesn't believe what I'm saying and thinks I'm lying. She said I need to start talking and being honest with staff. She said I need to actually talk properly to my psychologist on Monday. I just feel like I can't win whatever I do. If I'm honest they won't let me out and now they're saying they can tell I'm not being honest so can't risk assess me properly and they still believe I'm suicidal so they won't let me out either way.

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Old 20-07-2019, 08:05 PM   #666
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It sounds like your favourite nurse cares very much about you as do the rest of the team if they're willing to go to this extent to not let you die?

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Old 20-07-2019, 08:12 PM   #667
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I think that nurse cares and a few others and the Drs and psychologist cares but a lot of the nursing staff don't care.

I'm so anxious about Monday when I see my psychologist. I don't know what I'm gonna say.

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Old 20-07-2019, 08:26 PM   #668
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Soft Kitty View Post
It sounds like your favourite nurse cares very much about you as do the rest of the team if they're willing to go to this extent to not let you die?
This.

Could you write down what you want to say to your psychologist and pass it to her?







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Old 20-07-2019, 08:29 PM   #669
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I don't want them to have any physical evidence to keep me here longer

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Old 21-07-2019, 01:58 PM   #670
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I know I keep saying it but I think it's hugely important that you are honest so that staff can tailor things to what you need even if in the moment those things aren't what you want. Persevering now might really improve things in the long term.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 21-07-2019, 02:36 PM   #671
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I'm just scared whatever I do

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Old 21-07-2019, 05:18 PM   #672
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It is scary, I know. I think you can be honest and get through this though. How are things today?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 21-07-2019, 05:20 PM   #673
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Thanks for understanding and for your support. I hope so. I guess I'll have to see what happens tomorrow. I think I'll probably tell the psychologist not to come in my room but she might anyway cause she's a bit like that.

Today I'm very bored. It's short staffed. I'm anxious about the next few days and life in general.

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Old 21-07-2019, 11:09 PM   #674
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This anxiety is killing me.

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Old 22-07-2019, 01:05 AM   #675
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How are you doing now? Do you feel like you can tell staff how you feel? Do you feel supported by them?



I am still me no matter what SIZEor shape I am!

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Old 22-07-2019, 09:53 AM   #676
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No I don't feel supported by them. I've been taking my meds for 2 or 3 days and one of the nurses is like "I can see a bit of a difference" so at least I'm fooling them and I'll be out this week.

Got psychologist at 11.30 but determined for her not to get anything out of me.

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Old 22-07-2019, 01:19 PM   #677
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How did it go with the psychologist?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-07-2019, 01:37 PM   #678
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I barely said a word. I couldn't even look at her. It was so hard I wanted to tell her everything but I just couldn't.

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Old 22-07-2019, 07:37 PM   #679
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It must be hard to keep everything inside.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 22-07-2019, 07:39 PM   #680
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It's so hard. It's killing me. I just wanted to burst in to tears and tell her how bad I was feeling but I was so scared that would be used as evidence to keep me here. She was so lovely I feel so bad that I couldn't talk to her properly. Oh well hopefully only another couple of days til I'm out of here and I can do what I need to do.

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