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Old 25-02-2016, 12:18 AM   #1
canyouseeme
 
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Almost a year since...

On March 12th it'll be a year since I last cut. I'm feeling all sorts of mixed emotions. I should be proud of what I've achieved but deep down I feel the need to sabotage all the hard work I've put in. For awhile the self destructive thoughts haven't crossed my mind but recently they're all I think about. I wonder if anyone else has gone through similar, if it's natural to feel this way when approaching the first big milestone of your recovery.

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Old 25-02-2016, 01:54 AM   #2
PassedExpectations
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For me it doesn't happen so much at big milestones, but at big moments when things happen and I feel like I would be "justified" in harming again, even though I haven't harmed in ages. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to sabotage than to push through and manage in a healthy way. I think the urges come when I'm scared I won't be able to cope, and would prefer to quit than to try to press through only to discover I"m too weak.




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Old 25-02-2016, 05:12 PM   #3
canyouseeme
 
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Thanks for the reply Katie. I think you summed it up there in that it's not just the milestone but there's always something else going on in the background for me and things build up and I guess I feel "justified" but the milestone is both stopping me from harming and also a huge presence.

Gotta keep fighting through though

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