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Old 24-02-2016, 11:18 PM   #1
canyouseeme's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Glasgow
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Almost a year since...

On March 12th it'll be a year since I last cut. I'm feeling all sorts of mixed emotions. I should be proud of what I've achieved but deep down I feel the need to sabotage all the hard work I've put in. For awhile the self destructive thoughts haven't crossed my mind but recently they're all I think about. I wonder if anyone else has gone through similar, if it's natural to feel this way when approaching the first big milestone of your recovery.

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Old 25-02-2016, 12:54 AM   #2
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Upstate New York
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For me it doesn't happen so much at big milestones, but at big moments when things happen and I feel like I would be "justified" in harming again, even though I haven't harmed in ages. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier to sabotage than to push through and manage in a healthy way. I think the urges come when I'm scared I won't be able to cope, and would prefer to quit than to try to press through only to discover I"m too weak.

this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.

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Old 25-02-2016, 04:12 PM   #3
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Thanks for the reply Katie. I think you summed it up there in that it's not just the milestone but there's always something else going on in the background for me and things build up and I guess I feel "justified" but the milestone is both stopping me from harming and also a huge presence.

Gotta keep fighting through though

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