Have you got a Dr. who you can talk to it sounds as though things are pretty bad with you right now and maybe your dr. could suggest something to get through it. Taking Nytol isnt going to stop the feelings but it may let you sleep through it. I know that sometimes I just want to hybernate and wake up when its all over but that isnt practical or sensible and sometimes facing our feelings when they are so overwhelmingly strong is the best time to do it.
The next time you feel like hurting yourself could you use the distractions from here Big distraction page
to try and get past the bad feelings? Alternatively why not try and get a best score on the Arcade
can be a great way of socialising and when things are really bad it is always useful to have a place to go and talk about the good and the bad and know someone is at the other end even if they are sitting at a computer on the other side of the world.
I love these two suggestions Butterfly mission
& Positive Idea: Coping Banks even if you dont use them now it might be an idea to keep them handy for a time when you feel a bit stronger.