a year on

pixiedust · 08-07-2007, 10:54 PM

Feeling rather shaken at the moment. It's a year today since I first went into hospital for cancer. I will be diagnosed properly a year ago on Tuesday. All the memories and fears are even stronger at the moment. I was so scared, I mean so scared. I still am. I need to talk about it with someone. I've got my counselling session tomorrow but I'm just so scared of hearing the words come out my mouth. A year, I can't believe it's that long.

-Chelsey- · 08-07-2007, 11:46 PM

Laura, Hunny.
A year is a long time, But look how much you've changed in that time.
You're at home now, you've got freedom under your belt.
I can't imagine the fear you felt/ are feeling.
Please try and talk tomorrow.
Loves you.
xxx

lostdoll · 09-07-2007, 12:23 AM

A year is a long time... But you should be so proud of yourself for still standing strong (even if you don't feel that way) and surviving all that you have. *squishes*

craola · 09-07-2007, 01:14 PM

A year is a long time, a year and you're still fighting, that is something to proud of. I cant imagine what you must have been through this past year but you are a strong person and so brave, I hope you can see that.
I havent been through what you have, but if you do want to talk im always around to listen. When you see your councellor try to get everything off your chest, it must be scary to hear out loud, but once its said it might make it a little bit easier to bear.
Take care of yourself hun,
Aimee xx

pixiedust · 09-07-2007, 09:15 PM

I tried to talk to my counsellor today and did manage to a little bit but there's so much going round my head. I feel really tearful. There's too many memories. I want to talk to someone and for them to understand. I feel like I should've gotten over all this by now but it's still as vivid as ever. It doesn't feel like a year ago, it feels so close. And I'm just dreading it happening again. The lumps still haven't disappeared in my leg and although my consultant says they're probably ok, I still can't help but worry.

Stellata · 10-07-2007, 08:15 AM

Anniversaries can be hard. Its traumatic, and its natural to have worries. I am sure though that the consultant knows what's what. Its hard when there's so much going on in your head, so many feelings. Perhaps try journalling or drawing to sort things a bit?

Accidentally Abstract · 10-07-2007, 10:51 AM

Things like that can be hard to deal with. You're doing really well though! You're bound to be upset about it - there must've been so much emotion going around in your head at the time of the diagnosis.
It's understandable that you're scared, but try and focus on the fact that you've managed to fight through all of this for a year.

Hope you feel a little more positive soon.
Keep fighting.
x