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08-07-2017, 12:42 AM
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#441
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Join Date: Mar 2013
I am currently:  
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All over the place
Happy about my new job but a bit anxious
Depressed, but relieved and glad and still angry about graham
Anxious about my future - but wondering whether if I am really going to pass this year
Wondering whether I am really going to have a social life this year if B will contact me. I want her so bad it breaks my heart
Pissed off I have no real friends, no one wants me
Why do I feel so worthless
I have a job I should be happy *according to my parents I should be cured from all mental health illnessses.
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Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
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08-07-2017, 11:15 AM
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#442
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It's okay not to be okay
Join Date: May 2006
I am currently: 
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Lost
Confused
Hopeless
I feel like, for every step I take forward, I take 2 steps back
I don't know what the hell I'm doing and all I can do is just get through another day
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The only time you will find real light is when you're searching in the dark..
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10-07-2017, 04:27 PM
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#443
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Join Date: Aug 2010
I am currently: 
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I'm really scared
the Lofepramine and Clopixol are poisonous
I'm being watched and followed
I'm going to die a slow & painful death
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10-07-2017, 08:16 PM
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#444
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Cat
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Behind you
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Lost.
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10-07-2017, 11:56 PM
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#445
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Join Date: Aug 2010
I am currently:
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I feel really alone and lost
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12-07-2017, 04:37 PM
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#446
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Join Date: Apr 2016
I am currently: 
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Alone, directionless, cowardly
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18-07-2017, 10:49 PM
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#447
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: UK
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Anxiety is sky high tonight. Lots of sh urges =|
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Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
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19-07-2017, 06:17 PM
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#448
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The Shadow of the Day
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland
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Like nothing is ever going to get better.
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I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
You didn't come this far just to come this far.
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19-07-2017, 08:00 PM
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#449
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Scotland
I am currently: 
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Ashamed, drained, but wondering.
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20-07-2017, 05:06 PM
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#450
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Cat
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Behind you
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determined
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21-07-2017, 04:28 PM
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#451
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I threw my pie for you.
Join Date: Mar 2010
I am currently: 
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Pained.
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Sweetpea
♥
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23-07-2017, 12:01 PM
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#452
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Valerie
Join Date: Oct 2014
I am currently: 
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Scared.
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23-07-2017, 07:11 PM
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#453
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The Shadow of the Day
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland
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Frustrated with myself.
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I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
You didn't come this far just to come this far.
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27-07-2017, 11:24 PM
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#454
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Join Date: Mar 2013
I am currently:
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Absolutely shocked, overwhelmed and frustrated over B's news my only close friends friend in the whole world could be possibly die in the future and I could potentially lose someone I have a huge bond with and the only real bond I have. There's no one in real life I know that could come close that bond. How am I going to feel in weeks time when she's going through chemo and stress of coping with being with as friend, as well final year year at university. I am hardly gonna walk out a 2:2 or above. Let's be realistic because of my previous grades. Perhaps I could repeat a second year module so I stand a chance but then I would feel depressed even more and only have until 2019 to complete not exactly what I had in mind. A big part of me just wants live like a I don't give monkeys robot again and feel no up or down about anything or give the impression that I used care but not anymore.
On the other hand if things do get a bit too much and like what happened last year happens again it could finally prove my parents that I don't just need five minutes of "crying" and "feeling upset" about a problem and that mental health conditions don't magically become "cured" or "recovered" because I have a job they evolve as situations in daily life change.
But at least my new job gets me out of the boring routine at the weekend and because I am working I never have to visit the art cafe on Friday morning. As I am in the office. What a positive and wonderful relief. Now that was definitely deliberate. One less **** bag of situation in my life to face.
Feeling glad about that.
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Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
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27-07-2017, 11:29 PM
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#455
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Join Date: Mar 2013
I am currently:
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Sometimes I wonder whether i should of bothered with recovery in the first place
For any kind of mental health condition. I would of been "happy" not caring about anyone or anything not bothering to turn up anything at all. At least I would get a decent relaxing day and night of bliss.
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Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
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28-07-2017, 12:03 AM
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#456
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: UK
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Scared, panicked, still having self harm urges. Wtf is going on?
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Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
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30-07-2017, 12:49 PM
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#457
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I threw my pie for you.
Join Date: Mar 2010
I am currently:
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Still pained.
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Sweetpea
♥
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30-07-2017, 01:53 PM
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#458
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Join Date: Mar 2013
I am currently:
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Not feeling too good at the moment came over completely dazed and unable to think clearly this morning and I have drank some coffee and still not feeling too good. Just getting everything on confused and struggle to send simple text nesssges or reply to emails or follow anything and stand up without feeling like a drunk person minus the booze and standing up is rather difficult. Help!!! I am having to enable the dictation thing to send this message.
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Have you ever confused a dream with life? Or stolen something when you have the cash? Have you ever been blue? Or thought your train moving while sitting still? Maybe I was just crazy. Maybe it was the 60's. Or maybe I was just a girl... interrupted.
I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside. I tried groups, didn't work out just made my depression a lot worse.
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12-08-2017, 08:14 PM
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#459
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: U.S.A
I am currently: 
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Ashamed
Scared
Sad
Guilty
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28-08-2017, 11:48 AM
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#460
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Arkansas
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tired and confused.
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