just took an od :(
stuggling loads at the moment
i feel like eveyone hates me in work and the boss is just waiting for me to hand my notice in and finally be rid of me. i ddont know what im doing with my life i dont see a light at the end of the tunnel and just want all these thouhgts to go away and leave me in peace. i just want a little bit of peace thats all. hoepfully this will make me sleep thats why i did it.
Hey, can I join in? I have BPD and Bulimia...and OCD traits.
I've decided to look into getting a private therapist, as there is just NOTHING down here in Cornwall to help me. I do have a lovely CPN, but I need more as the SH is completely out of control and I don't want to end up IP again :( .
How did it go with your OT one step closer?
Quote:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
beautifulpain, i'm glad you're ok today. Please talk to us if you feel low again.
Once A Fallen Angel, are there any areas around you where you could possibly look for a therapist?
It went alright with my OT. She thinks i'm moving forward slowly but I can't feel it. There are so many big things that are wrong so the little things that have changed just feel like nothing.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I can relate to that Lindsay. A lot of people say to me "You are making changes" but because the big things don't feel like they are changing, it doesn't feel different to me.
Thank you for your kind offer of talking last night. The crisis team came out to see me and I was admitted to the psych ward overnight.
xxx
I feel a bit stuck to be honest. Things don't seem to be moving forward. I was having schema therapy (sorry if I'm repeating myself) and the CMHT haven't been able to give it to me for the last 2 months and it was so helpful, that I just feel at the moment I'm slipping back and it's preventable. I've done all I can though to get them to co-operate. Such as writing to them expressing concerns, discussing to all teams. My therapist very much is on my side so I'm really hoping it gets sorted soon! It's such a joke. Now I'm just home again and nothing is different. And worse, both my care co-ordinators will be off for 3 weeks and they've left me with somebody I absolutely hate. I'm hoping I may be able to discuss this with someone in a tactful and polite manner and see if something can be done. Gosh, sorry for such a rant!
It's horrible to feel stuck, i'm annoyed for you that people aren't supporting you in the way that they should be. It's good that your therapist is on your side though.
I'm just tired of life and only having to look forward to overdoses. There is nothing that I want in life. I wish I had the freedom to kill myself but I have to think about my brother.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I know from your posts that you have felt like this for a long time and it's an awful feeling to have. Do you get any support? I hope that you will get through this and that you will lead a fulfilling life in time. It's good you have your brother to hold on for but it would still be really fab if you could hold on because you were getting well. xx
My psychologist has just moved to a different area so i'm waiting to see a new one, my OT and psychiatrist are on holiday. I could phone the crisis team but they are never any help. I can't tell anyone that I am thinking about overdosing because my medication will be stopped completely. I feel so alone.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
That must be very lonely for you. I'm sorry they are all away at once. Damn summer holidays! I can understand not wanting to speak to the crisis team. They aren't always the most understanding. Perhaps give it a try though? Just in case? x
Hey, I'd agree, it's worth just trying the crisis team another time isn't it? You might get someone completely different and they might be of help. FWIW I've had *some* negative experiences of crisis team, but on the whole they have been great to me.
I'm sorry I don't know much about you but is there a reason they would stop your meds if you said you felt like you might OD? Only asking as I've never had my meds stopped and I used to OD regularly.
Keep talking to us hun :) we are here....
Quote:
“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together.. there is something you must always remember. you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. but the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.”
I phoned the crisis team earlier on and told them that i'm feeling suicidal but won't act on it tonight. They said that's good and went on to talk about my kitchen. They always ask me what i've done during the day and what i'm planning on doing for the rest of the evening but i'd rather they addressed how I am feeling. I don't know how to tell them that though.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
