While recovering physically is a fantastic step, I think it will take a bit longer for you to be emotionally comfortable with being healthy (I'm afraid I wouldn't really know though, just guessing). I'm 'recovered' from self harm, but for a long time it was still the first thing I thought about when I was upset, and even now, two years on from my last major SI, it still crosses my mind sometimes. I don't know if it's comparable, but I think that stopping behaviours can sometimes be easier than stopping the thoughts that used to lead to them.
You are doing really well honey. You're not 'fat', it's just the lingering ED thoughts making you think that. Give it some more time and eventually you'll be able to come to terms with recovery emotionally.
Have you ever seen a dietician? If not, could you asked to be referred to one? They might be able to give you tips on staying healthy, not just putting on weight, that might help you feel more comfortable with these lifestyle changes. Otherwise, there are loads of healthy eating/healthy ways to exercise sites online that you might find helpful, although I'd be careful doing anything on your own at this point.
*hugs* please keep taking care of yourself. You are doing so well.
PM me if you want to talk.
Katie x
|