Eh, yeah. I worked an auction Saturday evening for my grandparents (they're auctioneers) and it always really triggers me, cause no matter my job, I can't keep up. But at least I get money, I suppose.
I'm holding on, but everything keeps piling up and I can't even explain it.
And yeah... we were super bored on the way to church this morning. Yay for my grandparents living out in the country! So... to keep us occupied, we took pictures and tried to make Star Wars parodies of songs on my ipod.
"Life is easy to chronicle, but bewildering to practice."-- E.M. Forster
I got a voulenteer place with kitties, can do whatever I want with them and due to previous experience in a vets with the quarrantine and isolation ward I might be able to work with less healthy more attention hungry kitties, so excited about it. Mums annoyed at me because I'm going to go with kitties and that I won't see my nan friday, even though I decided missing a 2h tea friday is better than missing 8h Saturday or 4h Sunday with my family, but no. Apparently Sunday would be better. *sigh* I'm just glad I'm able to do this, it should be really good for me to get to help people out, and cats out. Might get a place talking to the public too after a few weeks, which would be lovely. I really do crave a career in animal care but I'll never be a vet and after years of mum telling me I must go into a well paid job there's not much else, most animal care jobs are like 15k per year... I don't know what I want to do really, just got this degree to get through first.
*Hugs Jill tightly* Do you want to talk about it honey?
I need to know something. Why can no one else see it? I am covered in dirt, it's all over me. I'm a monster. A disgusting, horrible, worthless monster but no one else can see it. They all think I'm nice, caring, but I'm not. I screw up people's live and try time and time again to tell them what I really am before it's too late but no one believes me and I don't understand it. How come no one else can see it?
I'm sorry you're feeling so low Jill. Is there anything you can do to distract yourself? Please try not to do anything stupid. I'd miss you. *Leaves jar or hugs for later.*
Lia, sweetie, you aren't what you say you are. I know that my telling you that probably won't do diddly-squat but... I do believe that you are kind, caring, thoughtful, & sweet... no matter what you think of yourself. I have seen no signs, none whatsoever, of you being a monster. I just hope that someday you can see you the way that I see you. *cuddles* How are you doing tonight??
Jill, don't do anything stupid, please? We would all miss you if you did... although that being said, I do understand the desire to not be here anymore. :( It hurts... and is scary... but you can work through it. *hugs*
Sorry for not replying to more of you... except *big hugs* to Laura, since you said you needed them. <3 And *cuddles* to everyone to whom I didn't reply, so sorry. :( I wish I had the energy to do epic replies but lately, been totally lacking in energy of any sort. :( Sorry. :'(
Past 3 nights I've cried (including tonight). Feel so stupid doing so, like I'm weak etc., etc., etc. WTB additional parents. :( Probably some of you all do too. Sorry to whinge on about this, it's just that it hurts.so.damn.much and I'm not quite sure how to get over it. :'( Probably gonna update my r/v with my sorrows and woes so you all don't have to put up with it here. :-/
*hides in the warren where no one can find her*
RYL family: Doikers is my brother
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another! - Anatole France.
Just thought I'd share something interesting. A surgeon in the "fair" country of Australia is planning a legal class action aimed at banning cigarettes in Australia along the lines of action taken by victims of asbestos against James Hardie. If it was achieved - which would set an interesting precedent, the government would be forced to pay out billions in damages/compensation to smokers and help them to quit and so forth. They'd also lose trillions of dollars a year in revenue from cigarette sales. So it could be extremely interesting.
She shouts, she screams, she smashes your dreams . . .
Would you mind if I killed you? Would you mind if I tried to?
'Cause you have turned into my worst enemy,
You carry hate that I don't feel: It's over now WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
* Proud Plumeria Sister * My Support Thread * I got lei'd in vets *
* My RYL Family: big brother Doikers; little sisters MammaMia & flutterby butterfly *
*hugs to everyone* i wish i could take all your hurts. I would be sad if i heard any of you passed on.
Hello everyone name is Becca age 34, everyone who is a resident of my head may or may not show. I know Sammie will if there is someone around her age. Ace would be most likely to show up out of all of them.
The residence of my head
Sammie: Age 6, sweet, shy, playful, doesn't like grown men
Leigh: Age 16, sort of a loner, creative, friendly, protective of Sammie
Ace: Age 29, sensitive, creative, a good guy tries to convince Sammie each day that he is.
“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”
tada magic i dunno how i got this -------> Í
hi julie 'm 26 i love hugs i have people in my head and they will talk to u. they will behave and they wont hurt u they are...
owen nearly 10 and doesnt like being touched
amy 11 quiet and shy
kate 15 has lotsa anger but is nice
so basically i'm that weirdo who talks to herself...hi...
I'm starting my first day as assistant team leader with the Prince's Trust. I don't feel like I can do this. My social skills and leadership skills are rubbish.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
*Hey Lindsay*
Well today I rang up for my repeat perscription which I hate doing as I feel I'm on so many meds it's embarrasing, so I've already accomplished as many chores today as I did in all of yesterday :) I just have to stay out of bed all day like I ended up doing yesterday, We'll find out how it goes , I want cheese roll for lunch I think so I have to go to the shops for a roll . and some cheese heh, I'm just trying to get the motivation to go out hmmm
I'm still not comfortable in my skin and the anasthetic's slowly wearing thin - Otep
Everyones lost but me! - Indiana Jones
It's okay , they know me here .
Kahlia1981 is my adopted little sister :)
''Courage doesn't always roar , sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow"
Hey there my fellow wardies, sorry for disappearing on you all for a week, not really sure what happened....am now waiting in for people to come and connect me to the communial digital ariel in the block of flats, exciting times at the prospect of TV to watch again, not quite so exciting waiting in for strangers to come and mess up my flat. But it could be worse, gotta focus on the positives, right?
"All battles in life serve to teach us something, even the battles we lose"
"There are moments in life when the only possible option is to lose control"
tada magic i dunno how i got this -------> Í 
