Just not normal

[MrsNutkin]

This is just a brain dump but I'd appreciate some replies so putting it here rather than ranting.

I have a lot going on ADD/Autism and a physical disability alongside anxiety so it's not really a surprise but I don't think other than online friends that I actually have any friends. I have during periods of my life but not really any that I have stayed with.

Only part of me is bothered by this. The part that thinks it isn't normal. Usually I just carry on and don't really worry about it but this isn't what life "should" be like is it?

[sandalwood]

A very interesting question! Do you feel lonely without friends? Is it bothering you? Like you, I've had friends in the past but I have not stayed in touch.

My psychiatrist does not think it's normal that I don't have any friends (online or offline). I have a different opinion. Life circumstances make my decision not to go out and find friends understandable. I have complex PTSD that affects me. It is normal for me, but not normal for others who have a social circle. They don't understand my wishes to be alone.

Is it normal? It really depends on who you talk to. As long as it's not bothering you too much (loneliness is an issue that can affect people), I would not worry.

[The Worst Witch]

I don’t have a lot of friends either. I think I can count on one hand how many people I feel genuinely comfortable with offline, and 2 of them are in my immediate family, the rest of them children (not in a weird way, I used to babysit this particular pair loads and even stayed with them for a while a few months ago).

As to whether its normal or not - I’m inclined to think that yes, it is ‘normal’ for
autistic people to not want friends. The world is so confusing to us - I find it extremely difficult to navigate sometimes, and if you throw in having to make conversation with people its basically a non-starter.

[Auror.]

Most if not all of my close friends are online friends at this point. I struggle with IRL friendships and boundaries and new humans. Having other friends who are also autistic or mentally ill means we understand each other better and often communicate in ways that work best for us versus what is the societal norm. Our friendships may not be the most conventional, but they work for us. One of my best friends who used to be an irl friend moved away. We only talk once every few months and see each other even less now, but we are still good friends. To neurotypical people that might be weird, but it works for us.

I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting friends, or only wanting a few friends. Whatever works best for you is fine. Just because it isn't normal by society's standards doesn't make it wrong. Just different.

[MrsNutkin]

I thought I would come back to this but not too up on how things work around here now and it might get locked or something for bringing up an old thread...sorry if I'm doing it wrong.

Just thought it might be worth letting people know that I have mostly online friends and I'm happy with how things are at the moment and not feeling lonely.

[Twisted Fate]

I'm glad you are not feeling lonely. It's ok to be introverted and enjoy alone time. If you ever want an online friend you can PM me.

[Auror.]

It's okay to bring up an old thread if it's yours!

Nice to hear you're doing okay for now.