Triggering (SI) - i have to do it.

[*..life in pain..*]

im so sorry that you had to get stitches, but at the same time im jealous, even though i shouldn't be. my mom didn't exactly stop me, but for a minute i was so ready and then she asked me not to do anything bad, and i stopped being ready after she had said that. thats why she stopped me.i decided that i won't try to do it hard again, i will just not care so much about the consequences.

i know that i can control my SI, to the point that i won't do it hard unless i want to(although it has happened before to not have control), but i don't have control to when i will have the urge to do it. you know what i mean?

[deadstar]

I undestand what you're saying hun.
What i meant about control was that if you start cutting more seriously, there will come a point where you can't get the same feeling from shallower cutsso you end up causing more and more damge to yourself.
I know what your saying about your mum asking you not to do anything bad stopping you from feeling ready. My mum does that too and it drives me crazy, but later on when i'm feeling slightly better and the urges have passed, i can see that it was probably a good thing she did, if you get what i mean?
please take care sweetie xxx