Hi all. I saw my psychiatrist this afternoon and told him everything except the self harm. When they asked outright about SH i just stayed quiet. I didn't want the doctor or CPN to tell my parents that I cut on Monday. I thought keeping hold of my blade was more important than being honest. But just now I told my mum I had cut and gave her the blade. There will be other blades and now i don't have to worry about my CPN communicating with my mum.
Last edited by tamobhuuta : 11-05-2019 at 08:51 PM.
Reason: Typo
I thought saying it would be attention seeking. I told my mum because I didn't want her to find out another way. But I have told my CPN and he was cool with it.
Confused. I used my therapy skills so I know what my ex-therapist would suggest but I am too scared to give up the things the voices said would block the mind reading.
I understand your fear, but other people have always been more supportive with you than the voices. It's good that you have been thinking about giving up those things, maybe you could do it slowly and with some support.
I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.
Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.
This is too much. What if my parents are forced to poison me via food or meds? My fears are poisoning, hidden cameras and mind reading. I am distracting but I'm not doing very well at challenging.
Ages ago the voices were telling me there was an Organisation watching me, trying to control me and I stopped believing that for a while but now it's back. They are very powerful, they could threaten my family to get them to harm me.
It changed when they sorted my meds. Not sure what that means. This is all real so why should I take meds? The psych increased the clozapine yesterday so I will start the higher dose next week. Why would the voices lie to me?
Is it real though? I don't think the voices should be trusted - they're never telling you anything good and only want to cause you harm and distress. Do you trust your psych?
Sometimes if challenging thoughts, voices, or behaviors is too hard, it might be better to try to look at them in less negative and more neutral ways. Is there a way to just remove the judgement? Sometimes that helps break them down and help you look at them slightly differently to make it easier to challenge later on.
I'm not entirely sure how that might work with your situation, but I guess maybe trying to see it as less who is right/wrong or lying/telling the truth look at it in a way that suggests that they are all suggesting things that they perceive to be true and they think are in your best interest. Like, thanks voices for telling me what you perceive this situation to be. I will consider that point of view. Same with your parents or psych, etc.. Thus then the choice is up to you to decide which one might really be in your best interest?
That might be a bit too abstract to make much sense.
Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.
You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.