RYL Forums


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 13-11-2020, 12:33 AM   #101
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

I can't believe I'm still struggling with this.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-11-2020, 01:18 AM   #102
Greyscale
Chat Mod
 
Greyscale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North America

Trauma is so tricky. I know it may feel as though it's been a long time, but it is entirely understandable to still be having feelings about what happened. It does get easier over time, even if it's not in hugely noticeable ways. I'm so sorry you're still struggling with it, though. Have you been able to access support recently?

Greyscale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-11-2020, 03:25 AM   #103
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

No, I haven't had any support for over a year.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13-11-2020, 04:07 AM   #104
Greyscale
Chat Mod
 
Greyscale's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: North America

Do you think it might be worth reaching out for support if you're having a hard time? Formal or otherwise? I know some sexual assault specific charities here have groups, even drop in style, which survivors can access. I know some have transitioned to online due to the pandemic. I don't know about where you are but also a lot of survivor-specific hotlines or groups are places you can call/email/etc to talk about stuff or even get referrals to local services here. I think people typically think of those being for recent issues but I know here and in other places I've lived it isn't only for immediately recent incidents, it can be used for things even decades earlier.

I really again want to reiterate that I'm sorry you're having a hard time. It really sucks how much an assault can impact your life even years down the line. I wish there was a quick and easy answer but I haven't found one yet. All I can really offer is solidarity and hope that things can improve for you.

Greyscale is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2023, 10:55 PM   #105
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

Tomorrow is the five year anniversary. 19 months since I reported it and we're no further on. The case hasn't even been written up to send to the CPS yet.



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2023, 11:35 PM   #106
long road
Has less of a life than Pi.R^2
 
long road's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The Ceiling
I am currently:

I am sorry to hear that the police are taking so long to even send evidence to the CPS. That must be so frustrating and also prolongs the trauma of seeking prosecution.

I saw in general chat you said you gave into some urges. Is there anything you think you can do to try and keep from hurting yourself tomorrow? I also saw you have cosy bedding which sounds a good plan helping make bed feel safe.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Anniversaries can be really tough. Let us know if their is anything we can do to help xx




QUACK!


long road is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-04-2023, 11:37 PM   #107
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

Thank you Long Road. I'm planning to spend the whole day in bed. My cats spend the daytime on my bed, so that will help.

I'm having to prove over and over and over again that it even happened. And he gets to move on.



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2023, 01:32 PM   #108
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
one_step_closer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

I'm so sorry that you're the one who has to struggle through this while he gets to move on. It's not right or fair at all. I hope you can get through today safely and your cats offer some comfort at least. If it helps to post here keep doing it. I'm thinking of you.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


one_step_closer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-04-2023, 02:56 PM   #109
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

I'm just upset and angry and hurt. My police officer hasn't contacted me since January (apart from YESTERDAY. The DAY BEFORE THE ANNIVERSARY), my ISVA has been updating me and twice said "She's promised to phone you by the end of the week" and of course that never happens.



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2023, 02:37 AM   #110
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

that sounds absolutely infuriating. your feelings are absolutely valid and we are sorry they are being so awful about not updating. we hope you were able to get through the day and got loads of cat snuggles.



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-04-2023, 06:08 PM   #111
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

Thank you Camden <3



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-05-2023, 08:28 PM   #112
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

My case is moving forwards and I'm scared.



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-05-2023, 12:40 PM   #113
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
one_step_closer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

I'm sorry you're scared, do you want to talk about it? Is this things moving forward in a positive way? I hope you have safe ways to manage your emotions. Is anyone there for you?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


one_step_closer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-05-2023, 07:00 PM   #114
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

So my officer has written up my case, and sent it to the evidence review officer, he has reviewed the case file and believes there is sufficient evidence to send this to the gatekeeper.

This means that the Detective Inspector will then review the case file and they will decide if there is a realistic prospect of conviction to send this to the Crown Prosecutor Service. I'll have an answer from them in a few weeks ideally.

If it does go to the CPS, I have to go to court. They will put measures in place but I have to either see him or hear his voice, at the very minimum I have to be there for the plea hearing.

If it doesn't go to the CPS, he gets away with it.

I have my ISVA (Independent Sexual Violence Advisor) as my support but typically, I got the email last Friday and shes been on holiday all week! In terms of any other support, no. I'm on my own.



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-05-2023, 07:46 PM   #115
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

oh gosh what awful timing to find all this out :(

can you contact the ISVA place where your support human works and ask if there is anyone who can support you while she's on holiday?

thinking of you



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-05-2023, 08:01 PM   #116
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

I wouldn't even know who that is - when she was off sick all her cases just got dropped which is rubbish.

She's back on Monday and I've already texted her, just need to try work in a meeting with her around work.



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-05-2023, 08:07 PM   #117
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

Oh good! Do you think you will be okay until then?



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-05-2023, 08:14 PM   #118
Ahimsa
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
I am currently:

I mean, I'm not unsafe, so I guess so?



if you think you know me in real life, no you don't.

Ahimsa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 20-05-2023, 08:28 PM   #119
Auror.
Camden
 
Auror.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA

Not unsafe is good, but that doesn't mean you aren't still in need of support or that your feelings aren't valid.



Please do not give me virtual hugs unless you are only using the hug function on threads. Thanks.


You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


Auror. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21-05-2023, 12:51 PM   #120
one_step_closer
The Shadow of the Day
 
one_step_closer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Scotland

I really hope you can work out a meeting time. How are you today? Keep posing if it helps.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.

Don't try to calm the storm, calm yourself, the storm will pass.

You didn't come this far just to come this far.


one_step_closer is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is OFF
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 10:45 AM.