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Old 20-02-2015, 06:35 AM   #1
NitaGetFree
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Contains abuse - Please Please I Need Advice. I Need Answers.

I'M SORRY THIS IS LONG BUT PLEASE SOMEONE I'M SO LOST AND CONFUSED AND SCARED. I DONT KNOW. I have been married for a year and half to a man who I saw as fun, interesting and had the same goals. After we got married I dont know when but things changed. I started to do everything wrong. the way I chew is annoying and he would mention it when I started to chew that way After he asked me to stop. He started to call me boring and any time I did something wrong or something went wrong I he would get angry and say a lot. He threatens to leave me. Really angry he just treats me like I am the worst person ever. I started to think that I cant take this am I in a bad marriage. Is this emotional abuse. Am I over reacting. He is sick right now and cant eat well. He hates his weight and his past three girlfriends cheated on him. I never did I only went to dinner and a movie with a guy who was an exx but we were friends for so long before that. I didnt know I shouldnt. This was before we married but he still mentions it and gets angry about. I dont know what to think. Im a strong Christian and he never physically hurt me. Only once did he pull my hair out of anger but it wasnt hard and I didnt know he would. He jokes around like that. Like spraying me with water andsteals my pillow. It gets dull but he is just having fun. I dont know what to do I cant call any hotline right now and he knows all my passwords I'm Not very creative. He just doesnt know this site. He isnt interested in dealing with my self harm or eating disorder. He just gets angry every time he see a cut. What do I do? How do I kknow? With my faith how do I leave? How do I explain it to my blind friends and family? How do I fix this? Is there some way to fix this with out leaving. He is a lot times nice and caring and he does these nice random gestures. He is always honest. He tells me the truth. Its just his anger I dont understand.


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Old 20-02-2015, 01:12 PM   #2
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So this does seem like emotional abuse. I know this isnt a professional diagnosis place but for know its all I can do.

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Old 20-02-2015, 07:47 PM   #3
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This sounds like emotional abuse to me. It's okay to leave your spouse. As a Christian, I understand that divorce is frowned upon, however, God wouldn't want your spouse to treat you this way. If you would like you could try to get into marriage counseling or even Christian marriage counseling with your husband, but if he's unwilling to do this, maybe it's time to think and pray about leaving. It is not okay for someone to hurt you, threaten you, or be mean to you when they are angry.

As for telling friends and family. You take your time, and be honest. Tell them you have a reason, they'll understand it when you're ready to share, but if you're not ready to share you don't have to. Telling people eventually will be a part of healing.

Give it some prayer, some thought. Go to your Bible, some Christians, and possibly even a pastor. My mom's in a similar situation except there are kids involved, it's hard.



"Wish that I could cry,
Fall apon my knees,
Find a way to lie,
About the home I'll never see"
Superman by Five For Fighting

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Old 21-02-2015, 10:11 PM   #4
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Thus is so confusing. Everything is going okay for now. He gets annoyed but not off the handle angry. He has nice things planned and he is being really sweet. I start thinking that maybe he would be able to work with me. Get help. But at the same time im in serious doubt. he never says im sorry. And he acts like im never right. But this man thats nice and funny I really do love with all my heart. I never took our vows lightly.

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Old 22-02-2015, 12:06 AM   #5
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I am so frustrated! He starts this bring stuff up that he believes I should feel guilty about. He still brings stuff up that i did before we were married. Then he says we can never have fun because I get pissy when he tries. I dont find him flicking me for fun any fun at all. I dont find him just slightly pulling my hair fun. Why is annoying me fun? Wehyare things like this? What did I do wrong?

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Old 22-02-2015, 12:13 AM   #6
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I'm so confused. I told him off and said im tired of this and he changed. He want to separate and I said I dont want to just throw everything away but im tired off this. Now im scared of whats going to happen. He just went quiet and then soon went to bed. I was suppose to go to church and meet the lady from STOP domestic violence but im scared to leave I dont know what he will do I never did this. I never told him off like that.

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Old 23-02-2015, 04:25 AM   #7
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Well I got out and he was mad and then crying and then mad again. But he is planning to go inpatient at a hospital to get help for himself. My church is going to help and I called the local help line and they are going to help me. I have gone through the range of emotion and now im just out of tears. If he will get help and we can be a great couple that would make me happy. But I cant live like this. In fear and crying all the time

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Old 23-02-2015, 04:27 AM   #8
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I plan to get help myself and do what I can to learn what a balanced relationship is.thank you everyone for reading and helping me figure this Out. I pray that Everything goes well and that we will be okay.

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