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Old 02-12-2014, 03:31 PM   #1
NitaGetFree
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New to everything and just don't know

Hi,
So I'm new to this site and it's my first time joining a site that is meant to help and not hinder recovery and it's a bit scary. I have never gone symptom free for any long periods of time even though I have been in treatment places many times. I deal with self-injury and an eating disorder so I have always just bounced back and forth. My self-injury though is the hardest thing of thinking to let go. It was the first thing that I started and for ten years it's always has been part of me. But I need to stop because..... well every says it's not good. I mean I don't want my future children to ask about scars and cuts. My nieces and nephews already do and I don't know what to say. My husband just gets upset every time he sees a new scar and I don't know what to do with that. I personally don't want to stop but if I'm honest how long can I keep up this life and keep what have that's good in my life.I don't know where to begin and was wondering if anyone can say how they began.
I'm sorry this is so long but I'm better at giving advice then asking for help.

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Old 02-12-2014, 05:47 PM   #2
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I just re-read my post and I'm sorry if it seems choppy. My body and mind are really jumpy and I am having a hard time. I really do want to stop but it's hard since i have done it for so long. I don't know if anything I'm saying makes sense since m head is spinning.
I really just want to know how to begin to stop and keep going.

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Old 02-12-2014, 06:38 PM   #3
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Hi there,

First of all, well done for reaching out for help with self-harming. I know it won't have been easy for you and it's a really hard thing to do, so you've made a really good first step.

It is incredibly daunting to think about giving up a coping mechanism that you've used for so long, but it is possible. I used to self-harm and for over eleven years that was my go to response from anything that happened. Now though, I can say I'm free from it and I am so glad I took the jump into looking for something healthier.

It might be helpful to talk about what makes you self-harm, i.e. what are you triggers and your emotions you feel when you do it. Identifying triggers can help you avoid such circumstances in the future and allow you have healthier coping mechanisms in place for if the situation does arise again.

It might also help to take a look at the RYL Big Distraction List to use when the urges hit and the RYL Alternatives to Self-Harm List to see if you can replace self-harm with healthier ways of releasing pent up emotions.

Lastly, welcome to RYL :)

x x x



It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...


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Old 02-12-2014, 06:48 PM   #4
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Thanks for responding. It is overwhelming right now. My eating disorder is also in full kick mode and so I am having a hard time resisting anything. I don't really know what the triggers are always. Last night I just couldn't sleep and hated just lying there. so I started to hurt myself. But it seems so silly to me that even then that is my first response. My body is so jumpy. I will also look at those pages thank you.

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Old 02-12-2014, 06:57 PM   #5
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Sorry no words right now but just wanted to leave love and hugs and let you know you are not alone.



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 02-12-2014, 06:58 PM   #6
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Hey,

Do you have any professional support at all? Speaking to your GP or doctor can really help to make the stepping stones between wanting to start recovery and knowing where to turn.

It can be terrible when you can't sleep, because all you do is lie there and think about everything you try to distract yourself through the day.

Perhaps you could start by exploring the thoughts you were having before you got up and hurt yourself?

x x x



It's the ups and downs of living life this way. Promise me you'll never go away. Just stay with me through one more night because it's always darkest before the light and now I promise you I'll never turn away. I won't let you give us one less heart to break...


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Old 02-12-2014, 07:12 PM   #7
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I kind of do. I am sort of in an area where not a lot of things are offered. Also with my family and job I don't have lots of free time to do groups.

I will have to think about the my thoughts though. Right now they are spinning, loud and making me jumpy so it's hard to concentrate.

That big list of distractions is funny. Some things I find amusing to picture someone doing.

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Old 02-12-2014, 07:16 PM   #8
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^ That's good, anything that amuses you and boosts your mood no matter how small is important :)



'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'

['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']

'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter


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Old 04-12-2014, 09:57 PM   #9
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*A little detailed.*

I have been trying to take the advice above and think of what triggers me and try to distract myself but it's so hard to when I feel like my head won't shut up! My husband is ill as well as my dog and I'm so worried that my family is going to fall apart before we really began. My urges for both bulimia and self-harm are through the roof and I can't seem to stop myself from either. I have such headaches all the time and I can't eat much unless i'm going to get rid of it because I just can't focus. I'm really lost and dealing with so much I just want to stop fighting and pretending and just feel okay for a while.


Last edited by NitaGetFree : 04-12-2014 at 10:01 PM. Reason: want to put may be triggering
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