I feel really hopeless. I don't know if I'm just getting sick or if my brain has broken again...I feel exhausted and sick and like nothing matters. I feel like I don't measure up and I feel so disappointed with myself for being back in this state. I don't even know what is wrong :(
Oh lovely, I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. *squish* It will get better again, but I know it's difficult to see that when you feel so bad. Are you managing to take good care of yourself and get enough rest? Have you got any support in place at the moment? You are amazing, you can do this.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I'm resting as much as I can without falling behind with uni. I've reduced my work commitments and have contacted my main uni lecturer to find out what my options are if I can't pull myself out of this. I don't know what support I've got. I'm seeing my GP regularly. I'm scared of that even and especially scared to ask friends for help. The depressed part of my brain is telling me that none of these people care and that I'm an imposition...I think it's true really. I think for the most part that everyone is too busy to help and to care and I'm truly not worth the effort, not when I keep ending up in this place.
Katie, I hope you are feeling less scared now. Here if you need to talk.
Jill, How are you doing now? I hope speaking to your lecturer has helped somewhat. I get the feeling disappointed thing but sadly sometimes thats how mental health works. Why are you scared to ask your friends to help? You know you can always post here and ask for help. I know it isn't the same but we're here and I care.
How is everyone else doing tonight?
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
Sending safe hugs your way Katie. I know it isn't always helpful but can you do some self care and looking after you. Its ok for you not knowing how to make it ok right now (Although I realise how much it f'ing sucks) Maybe rest and relaxation might help fuel you and come up with a plan. Do you want to talk about what is going on?
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
Sorry I've not been around so much, have been really stressed and anxious. I'm okay though!
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
I'm glad you're doing alright, Leigh. What have you been up to?
I'm sorry the anxiety is so bad, Hannah. It really is horrible. I saw that you've booked a GP appointment. Have you kept it? Could your CC phone your GP and ask them? She might be able to make them understand that the present is particularly bad for you and that you need something just to take the edge off until things settle again.
I got my uni assignment back today. Got 85%. :)
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Well done ducky, that's great. A 1st for your first assignment.
How are you doing?
I have just got into bed my heart is pounding a bit and I'm dizzy :(
Hopefully I can sleep in a minute. Gotta get up early tomorrow to go to work.bah. I love being home.
Life can be beautiful if you let it.
Step back, breathe and take it in
Oh that doesn't sound very nice. *squish* Fingers crossed you'll sleep soon and will feel better come morning after some rest. What have you been up to today?
I'm alright. Also in bed. Got a uni thing all day tomorrow, so need to sleep, but I've not been great at that recently!
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Leigh I hope you're asleep by now and that you wake up feeling better <3
I hope you manage to sleep Ducky and that your uni thing goes well! Well done on your first assignment, that's amazing! Do you know what's been making sleep difficult lately?
I haven't cancelled the appointment yet but I might. I could maybe ask my CC to call, I don't know, but I doubt it would help. She called last time (about a year ago, before she was my CC and she was just some random CPN they sent round!) and it didn't make any difference they still said no even though I wasn't very well at the time. And the GP was horrible. I don't know. I'll see how I feel by Monday I guess. I'm a bit drunk lol, been out for a few drinks with a friend and it's the best I've felt all week. Probably not a sustainable solution though! I'm going to see a friend for the weekend and I'm looking forward to it but also anxious and also I have to be up stupidly early!!
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
*squish* Can you remember if it's the same doctor or someone different who you've got the appointment with on Monday? I can understand you maybe wanting to cancel it given the experience you had last time. Is there another doctor at the CMHT that could write you up for something? I know they've done that for me before when I've needed something reasonably urgently but my psych hasn't been around.
Did you have a nice time with your friend? I'm glad you're feeling better, but you're right - not a sustainable solution! Do you know what's making you feel anxious about going to see your friend for the weekend? Do you think that once you've wound down a bit you'll be able to sleep?
Thank you. :) I've no idea, really. I've been feeling a bit unsettled about work. I think that's maybe it. Also I was worried about getting the results of my assignment because I'd convinced myself I'd failed. :P
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
*squish* I hope that now you have the results it takes at least some of the weight off your mind! You did so well, you're amazing! I hope you sleep okay tonight. Do you think you'll be able to try for some sleep soon?
Thanks lovely. It's a different doctor but also one I haven't met before which is nerve wracking. I will maybe speak to my CC when i see her next week if I don't manage to go or it doesn't go well. I feel like I'm being horribly unreasonable asking for anything. I did have a nice time, yes :) I think I'm anxious because it's an early start and lots of travelling, which wouldn't usually be an issue but is when I'm this anxious, and although it will be lovely to see her it's also difficult putting onmy happy face all the time and then I'll get back late-ish on Sunday and have work early on Monday. And I really, really don't want to go to work.
"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."
