This sounds like emotional abuse to me. It's okay to leave your spouse. As a Christian, I understand that divorce is frowned upon, however, God wouldn't want your spouse to treat you this way. If you would like you could try to get into marriage counseling or even Christian marriage counseling with your husband, but if he's unwilling to do this, maybe it's time to think and pray about leaving. It is not okay for someone to hurt you, threaten you, or be mean to you when they are angry.
As for telling friends and family. You take your time, and be honest. Tell them you have a reason, they'll understand it when you're ready to share, but if you're not ready to share you don't have to. Telling people eventually will be a part of healing.
Give it some prayer, some thought. Go to your Bible, some Christians, and possibly even a pastor. My mom's in a similar situation except there are kids involved, it's hard.