Graphic - I can't!! Please someone advice me!
When I came on before I really did want to stop self harming and be in my eating disorder but now it just seems like it's not a possibility at all right now. I'm so angry and I'm so overwhelmed and I'm so helpless. My husband is ill and has been for some time now and it's just getting worse. All I can do is watch as he gets so frustrated and upset that none of doctors seem to know why he feels the way he does. Then to top that he has some thing going on that is making it difficult for us to conceive and that doctor just said he had to live with it because it wasn't serious enough. He gave us no alternatives on how to get through this!
All this is just making me go completely crazy! I can't stop wanting to hurt myself and it's starting to progress to be more often, in new places and more serious. I go days with eating very little to a complete eat everything I can. I just don't feel I can focus on my family and recovery at the same time. I don't have the strength to deal with both.
How can I do both? How can I focus when my head feels like it's spinning and all I feel is angry and helpless. I can't lose my husband physically or in any other way! I can't handle that not when we have only had a bit over a year.