Back into old habits.
I was so proud of myself when I had an episode and made it through without having to burn myself. It's a great feeling when you think you've conquered something. But that just made what happened today feel worse. I don't know what happened, maybe it was the book I was reading maybe it was spontaneous, but it hurts. I hate feeling like there's someone else controlling me and forcing these feelings down my throat. The worst part is I regain sanity shortly after. So after pain comes guilt and confusion. I don't know how to deal with it anymore. Please help.