Mildly Triggering (ED) - Haven't been around in a while...
I don't know if anyone remembers me; I was pretty active in the site last year. I've had a few name changes and stuff, but I've decided to come back and visit.
I guess also, I was SI free for four or five months, and still am, for the most part. I've been having trouble with bulimia for quite some time though, and recently started treatment (about 3 months ago). I was just maybe wanting some support/talking with people who have done the whole doctorpsychologisttherapyparentsaghhhh thing.
I've been to a couple different clinics, two nutritionists, 3 doctors, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and soon I'm going to start group therapy (DBT? Something-cognitive-behavioral-therapy). I can't count the number of times I've recounted my story to however many people.
I still hate the fact that if I leave the table and go elsewhere in the house my mother still thinks I'm purging. I hate that my friends (the ones who know) watch me at lunch to make sure I'm eating. I hate how every pound I lose or gain is analyzed and must have an ulterior motive.
I know this is all for my own good, and that I have to go through this process in order to recover. I suppose these things just take time.
Can anyone give me any advice on how to navigate all this recovery shiznazz? I really don't want to have to go into an inpatient program. However, my doctor says that if I lose much more weight or have any other relapses, that might be more of an option. And I'm terrified of that.