I hate the term attention seeker/attention seeking. If someone harms and doesn't hide it there's obviously something serious going on. They are in need of help.
But I hate how the term attention seeker is being thrown around. Example, if a cut or burn got infected (or if you even weren't sure they were healing) or you broke a bone (SH thing) so you go to the dr. you're labeled an attention seeker. For getting proper medical help.
There have been times when I was worried that some of my cuts weren't healing. I showed my Mom. But it wasn't like "feel sorry for me." I was genuinely concerned.
Sorry for my rant. This just gets under my skin. I feel like this label discourages people from getting proper medical attention for SH cuts, burns, breaks, etc.
Yeah- had that conversation about suicide attempts with someone. They kept calling it "attention seeking behaviour" with that air of expertise, and all I could do was quietly say I disagree with that perspective. I was livid.
I used to be able to seek emergency services if I was going to self harm- so ensure I was in a safe space. However, I had to prove to my mental health team I was coping, so no more intervention. So yes I agree all doctors and health professionals seem to get dumped on their collective stoopid heads when it comes to psychiatry- they've read it in a book somewhere, or heard it in a class somewhere- and really have no clue.
If I was getting attention- I doubt that I would feel so alone all the time too :)
~Happy tomatoes together we will be~
You say toe- may- toe, I say toe- mah- toe:
Let's call the whole thing- red
“It’s time to lead the third revolution, which is not to say we want to be at the top of the world, but to say we want to change the world. Because the way the world has been designed by men is not working. It’s not working for women, it’s not working for men,
it’s not working for polar bears.” Arianna Huffington 2014
I know what you mean. I feel a bit like I am a different person when I SH and then sometimes I think maybe I should get cuts etc seen to but then I'm scared I will get called an attention seeker. I have always thought tho that if someone is driven to hurting themselves to express their distress then that distress must be pretty bad. Most people wouldn't even consider hurting themselves to show they are upset so if someone does then obviously there is a big problem. To me it doesn't seem like attention seeking so much as a desperate scream for help. It also seems to me that getting intensive help is getting harder and harder - for example if you say you are feeling depressed etc that is considered fairly 'normal'. Even saying "I feel like hurting myself" or "killing myself" doesn't automatically lead to help because resources are are so over stretched. Maybe I just expect too much but it does seem like it is virtually impossible to get help through the public system so I can understand how some people get desperate enough to try and "attract attention" through SH. How else do you get the help you are desperate for? Having said that I'm not promoting this as a way to get help, just that I understand that people can feel like this is the only way. I think I've rambled a bit - sorry.
When I cut I don't need medical attention unless they look red either way if I show my sw she doesn't want to see and she's the only person I'm willing to show she would rather brush it off I
Think no one wants to here how much you want to cut burn etc but we Gould enable to talk about it freely and openly and ask for help you wouldn't tell
Someone with a pysically illness to change the subject or shut up
Yeah the conception that if you cut its for attention has really held me back as it feels like I cant tell anyone anything about it, how I feel etc even people I should trust just because of the fear I'm labelled an attention seeker, I usually have to get caught with cuts by accident for any help and it really sucks.
Yep. One of the most used insults at me was "Attention wh*re". It's silly because if I was doing it for attention I wouldn't try so hard to hide all my cuts everywhere.
It's just a general thing that people need to change their views on, and exposing your cuts doesn't always mean you do it for attention too. I know some people that simply don't care about people seeing their cuts but they do it because they have proper reasons to. There's a lot of people with this problem and a lot that think SH is just for attention. Sadly, they're in the wrong :/
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I wasn’t strong enough
And you didn’t give enough
When I needed you
I needed you
When I cut I don't need medical attention unless they look red either way if I show my sw she doesn't want to see and she's the only person I'm willing to show she would rather brush it off I
Think no one wants to here how much you want to cut burn etc but we Gould enable to talk about it freely and openly and ask for help you wouldn't tell
Someone with a pysically illness to change the subject or shut up
Showing a cut or burn if it looks like it's not healing is not attention seeking. It's getting help. And by not sharing it with other people who self-harm it just encourages the person to keep their feelings bottled up. Or that no one cares. Not that someone will be able to say the right thing. There is no 'right' thing to say. But just knowing that someone is listening, understands your struggle, can be enough.
Or perhaps I didn't fully understand what you're trying to say. I just don't want people to be put off getting medical help for fear having that label slapped on them. Or wind up dying of blood poisoning or gangrene.
There are no 'proper' reasons to self-harm. The fact that someone is hurting themselves at all is enough.
I think the phrase "attention seeking" is correct in some situations, but it shouldn't ever be used as a negative term. If someone shows/tells another person that they've harmed themselves, only the most foolish people would expect a significantly positive response. Surely most people most of the time are seeking someone's attention so as to get help?
Sure there are probably more constructive ways to go about it, but that doesn't detract from the necessity of help.
There are many reasons people harm themselves and I think obviously a lot of people also try to hide what they have done, they generally are not seeking attention.
It goes to show, that no matter how bad things get for me, there is still always one thing which brings me happiness. I must cling to this for it is the making of me, the beginning of my resurgance and the fightback epitomised. I will defeat my demons.
An ode to joy
A road to love
A note to keep your head above
The rising tide's not yet a flood on this shore
For many ppl the thought of cutting or in other ways deliberately
hurting yourself is so strange and frightening that they can't cope
with it. Framing it as something like attention seeking makes it
understandable and also makes it possible to ignore. Following the
logic of attention seeking explanation it's even the right thing to do.
And then they can turn the back on us and still sleep good at night.
My self-harm does need medical attention. I often go to A and E to get treatment, fortunately the vast majority of times the Dr's and nurses treating me have never told me or suggested I was attention seeking. In fact they are far more often than not they are extremely caring, sympathetic and most want me to help them understand it more. Ironically the only time I have ever been called an attention seeker was by another self-harmer because I was actively seeking medical attention.
I agree with others that there are so many reasons people self-harm. But seeking appropriate medical treatment should always seen as a positive thing and taking responsibility. The fact it's self-inflicted should make no difference. The last time I needed to go to A and E I had a lovely nurse who kept repeating to me that deserved the same treatment as everyone else and had the right to pain relief.
My self-harm does need medical attention. I often go to A and E to get treatment, fortunately the vast majority of times the Dr's and nurses treating me have never told me or suggested I was attention seeking. In fact they are far more often than not they are extremely caring, sympathetic and most want me to help them understand it more. Ironically the only time I have ever been called an attention seeker was by another self-harmer because I was actively seeking medical attention.
I agree with others that there are so many reasons people self-harm. But seeking appropriate medical treatment should always seen as a positive thing and taking responsibility. The fact it's self-inflicted should make no difference. The last time I needed to go to A and E I had a lovely nurse who kept repeating to me that deserved the same treatment as everyone else and had the right to pain relief.
Exactly! Being labeled especially by someone else who self harms as an attention seeker(what was said to you by that person.) for seeking medical attention is absolutely ridiculous. And ignorant. And a person shouldn't be made to feel like that for taking responsibility and getting wounds treated.
well bottom line if someone is hurting themselves visible or not they are in pain ..maybe if people paid attention this community wouldnt be so big meaning alot less self harm in the world, i love you all that are suffering , i am suffering .. we all are we need to be loved and asked if we are ok sometimes thats the dif ya kno
when I see myself in your eyes I just want to go blind
"I don't need your retribution , I don't need your absolution "
It wont give up it wants me dead god damn this voice inside my head
