do i want abuse?

[irish]

but when their sorry thats how u know the love u

[Laura2.0]

I don't know what to say right now.
I'm going to write more when I'm able to, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still reading your thread.

[irish]

thanks :/ im so confused mom hurt me today and i dont even try to block her anymore. i just sit there and take it. i cant cry or shell get mad i cant flinch or shell get mad i cant look sad or shell get mad i obviously cant smile or shell be mad i cant look at her fac or shell get mad i cant look down like im ashamed of myself or shell get mad. and yet i still want it?! it dosnt make sence! i feel so stupid

[CrazyAboutMonkeys]

Sweetheart, You got to keep your feet on the ground and tell her "please, don't hurt me anymore and I'm really hurting" Just being honest with her so she cannot be mad at you. Or, you can talk to someone that you really knows about her and her issues..Would that helps you?

[FlyingNy]

It's not sick. It's a different example, but I find myself wanting to carry on cutting, wanting to go back to when I dabbled in starving myself and having such a strict control over my eating habits because pain is familiar. It's what I've always known and I see it as a way of life. Without it, I don't know who I am or how to live my life.

[irish]

I don't have anyone to go to the only people ive ever told decided that they didn't want to be my friends anymore in December I'm too scared to tell anyone elseif I ever told her that she would get so mad at me. It would he very very bad.

[CrazyAboutMonkeys]

Well, why don't you tell your dad about your mom for what she did it to you?

[irish]

dad knows.

[Laura2.0]

can you tell him about what she did today?

[irish]

he knows. he was upstairs when it happened

[CrazyAboutMonkeys]

Do you think he should talk to your mom about it? Just try and talk to him?

[irish]

Hes too scared of her. Shes mean to him too

[CrazyAboutMonkeys]

Oh no! not again!..Can you and your dad get out of the house and leaving her?

[irish]

No. A shed find us B I have 3 other siblings C were to scared to. Shes not always so mean though

[CrazyAboutMonkeys]

Ok, Do you think she should get help?

[irish]

Yes but I'm not gonna say that to her shed be pissed

[CrazyAboutMonkeys]

How old is your siblings? I think she is controlling you guys too much everyday and she has some anger issues or something like that..

[irish]

18 13 and 11 yes and yes

[CrazyAboutMonkeys]

I thought the 18 years old is going to the college like really far away so does that means he/she stuck with hers? Can you report to the police about your mom?

[irish]

yeah hes leaving a the end of the summer no i cant report her im too scared