"Your grandparents didn't survive the holocaust and went through all that was done to them so that their grandchild will harm herself".
The worst part about this one is that it's true, but it only makes me feel more guilty.
What can I do that I didn't get their strong personality? I know I wouldn't have survived it.
"Life is like glass... better leave it broken then cut yourself trying to fix it."
I'd say that it's inappropriate to point at someone's scars (obviously) and proceed to mutter under your breath about them to the person next to you in a highly judgemental fashion.
Was I pissed off about that? I think so.
This pisses me off so much, I get it all the fricking time. Also tat if you are wearing short sleeves strangers seem to feel they have a right to ask you all about your scars. It's not a conversation I want to be having 9 times a day thankyou.
Quote:
Originally Posted by IsSheWeird
"We're going to put you in this room so people won't judge you"
When the staff in A&E saw I SH'ed and took an OD.
I don't consider it inappropriate, but at the time I was like "oh frack".
I can appreciate it feeling a bit **** to feel that you might be judged however I do think they were trying their best to make you feel more comfortable, even if they didn't phrase it quite right. I was always grateful when they took me into a separate room to deal with my injuries, because otherwise even if they put the curtains round while they talk to you/stitch you up everyone can hear what's going on.
'Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.'
['There is only one thing we say to death. Not today'.']
'We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell.’ – Oscar Wilde
‘It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back.’ Sydney Carter
This pisses me off so much, I get it all the fricking time. Also tat if you are wearing short sleeves strangers seem to feel they have a right to ask you all about your scars. It's not a conversation I want to be having 9 times a day thankyou.
Exactly. What gives people the right to ask you? If they were in, say, a wheelchair, I wouldn't ask how they'd ended up there or whatever. Some people think that as soon as they see your scars they know everything about you and form a judgement in an instant and you can, consequently, suffer for this reason.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buttons.
I can appreciate it feeling a bit **** to feel that you might be judged however I do think they were trying their best to make you feel more comfortable, even if they didn't phrase it quite right. I was always grateful when they took me into a separate room to deal with my injuries, because otherwise even if they put the curtains round while they talk to you/stitch you up everyone can hear what's going on.
I would have preferred a separate room and, like Katy said, not everyone's brilliant with words. Those curtains in hospital are pathetic and thin and useless in terms of audible privacy. It's so irritating.
These weren't said directly to me, just comments I've heard.
"well thats emo"
"why would anyone do that, they are gonna have scars forever"
and a girl at my school said and then laughed with her friend
"thats kind of freaky, i wouldn't want to be near anyone that self harms but its ok i would know who to avoid cause apparently they are all attention seekers and walk around with cuts showing"
too bad for you I was sitting right next to you and you just didnt have a clue. So that was especially upsetting.
♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...
There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed. Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.
I can appreciate it feeling a bit **** to feel that you might be judged however I do think they were trying their best to make you feel more comfortable, even if they didn't phrase it quite right. I was always grateful when they took me into a separate room to deal with my injuries, because otherwise even if they put the curtains round while they talk to you/stitch you up everyone can hear what's going on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shine.
I would have preferred a separate room and, like Katy said, not everyone's brilliant with words. Those curtains in hospital are pathetic and thin and useless in terms of audible privacy. It's so irritating.
Yeah, I did appreciate them giving me some privacy but being judged didn't actually occur in my mind until the nurse said it. Besides that minor wording incident, the quality of care I received was great.
Augh, I HATE that one (and variations on it). My mother said something very similar, except while screaming at me: "Some day your little girl is going to ask 'mommy, where did you get those horrible, disgusting scars?' and what the **** are you going to tell her?!"
Even though I'm only 18, I'm already determined never to have kids, because I'm terrified of becoming the sort of parent that she is. Plus, I've already told her that I don't "want" children (that's a lie, though, because I do want kids some day possibly) and that, since I'm bi, I might end up with a female partner and so they'd be **** out of luck then. Of course all of this is ignored...the last time my mom even acknowledged that I'm not straight was when I was 13 and she hacked into my Myspace profile and made me take down the part that said I was bi...
From my experience in who I have met, and how I know myself, people who SH tend to be afraid to have children at the start. I don't think it really goes away until you meet that certain person who you want to be with and have children.
The people who have been trhough trouble, and have been where you are, majority of the time are the most beautiful people, and best parents. I have a friend who has been in alot of tough situations, but she is easily the best parent, and one of the most amazing people I have met to date.
This is a quote that a friend showed me, and I believe it to be completly true:
"The most beautiful people we have known, have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and deep loving concern. Beutiful people do not just happen"
"On ne voit bien qu'avec le cœur. L'essentiel est invisible pour les yeux."
English: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye.
My Mum said I wouldn't get a boyfriend if I carried on. She is very ashamed of my scars.
Also my GP totally misread my notes and wrote some dreadful and inaccurate stuff on a medical form. (I won't quote it as it may be triggering) But it nearly cost me my place in Uni. It was not a high point in my life having to sit in her office waving my arms in her face and pointing out that SI is not a suicide attempt. I love some of these medical professionals, their grasp on mental health is shocking.
"I want to be magic. I want to touch the heart of the world and make it smile. I want to be a friend of elves and live in a tree. Or under a hill. I want to marry a moonbeam and hear the stars sing. I don’t want to pretend at magic anymore. I want to be magic."
Ive got a few. My bestfriend knows i cut, and when i told her she revealed she was a burner. The next day she told me she started cutting too. I told her to stop before it was too late. And she said " Oh shut up its your fault i did it, if you hadnt given me the idea, i wouldnt of" oh yeah that makes me feel great.
Also at school people say a lot about it, they point out my scars and scream EMO in the middle of class.
The other day, i had a hair band around my arm, trying that technique of pinging everytime i wanna cut. We were walking out of tutor, and my friend walks up to my tutor and says, " Miss laura's trying to kill her self again"
Ive had from my boyfriend. "why would you cut something this beautiful?" that pisses me off.
From my cadet leader. "You need to get rid of them scars before parade"
At school i had a drawing of a saftey pin on my wrist. And my mum saw and said. "Whats that! Dont tell me your gunna turn out like your brother? Well if your gunna kill yourself, dont do it in the house, it'll be so messy" i think this was ment to be a joke but i took it very badly
From a director who had heard from someonelse and thought he should intervene:
Me: I don't want you, or my parents, to know or be bothered about this.
Him: If you don't want me or your parents to know, you shouldn't talk to people about it.
I can't really explain why i found that such a weird thing to say.... but yeah.
"everyone apart from your little world inside your mind see's it as HARM. It will never help you, it is a distraction. Believe me, I know about distraction, you don't become a 300 pound man without distractions"
that irritated me beyond belief, him trying to show me he "gets" it... that thats the same thing... but what irritates me even more is that he might be right.
A psych once said to me 'do you think your not very pretty? does the way you look concern you?' and also from the same person 'do you ever think that your friends dont really like you?'
This was all in the same session. I came out of that one feeling wonderful.
Boyfriend says to me - But its in the past now, you dont need to think about it.
It takes up almost every minute of my life. Thinking about doing it. Thinking about what people think looking at it. Seeing people on the streets with cuts that they show off. Not being able to stop looking at peoples arms to see if theyre doing it. Wishing i could do it right now. Wishing the scars wouldnt stay there. Hoping nobody sees how badly i want to do it. Making sure that no one knows about me. Wishing people would stop asking me "god what happend to your arms? were you in an accident"
A psych once said to me 'do you think your not very pretty? does the way you look concern you?' and also from the same person 'do you ever think that your friends dont really like you?'
This was all in the same session. I came out of that one feeling wonderful.
That was just your psych trying to guage where you are in terms of self esteem etc. It was almost certainly not meant in a "you're not very pretty...you don't have many friends kind of way". It's just that many people who self harm see the world around them and themselves differently. They typically have low self esteem and DO believe that their friends mightnot really like them, even if they actually adore them.
Hope that makes you feel a lil reassured :)
"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living."
I don't understand people having therapy sessions with their psychiatrists. I thought in the UK we had therapy sessions with a qualified counsellor or therapist and reviews on a set time basis with our psychiatrists (my psychiatrist usually sees me only once every three months (even on a 117) ) I thought only the USA did the psychiatrist/therapist thing?
Can anyone enlighten me? I must add that I had the same experience under CAMHS as I have the adult system.
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE
THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN
AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Random guy (new friend) - "Yo! Woah What the f*ck is that?... Oh i get it are you 'emotionally scarred'? I never realised you were so funny, good one!"
Im glad to see i am so funny.
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said "I just don't care"?
Why do people say you're an emo just because you cut?
So many people say that, it annoys me so much!
I'm not an emo, and not all emos cut.
^^ I totally agree with you, i hate it when people talk about 'emos' and how they always cut themselves. i always have to say "not all emos cut and not all people who cut are emo." it is so frustrating and not only that i had to say this just yesterday. i once saw this video on youtube about some young teen girl doing a q&a video in it she said something along these lines. "I'm not emo.." (then showing her wrists) "see no cuts or anything" this pissed me off so much.. any thats all i can think of. i havnt even read the rest of this tread yet only seen the 1st 2 posts.
That was just your psych trying to guage where you are in terms of self esteem etc. It was almost certainly not meant in a "you're not very pretty...you don't have many friends kind of way". It's just that many people who self harm see the world around them and themselves differently. They typically have low self esteem and DO believe that their friends mightnot really like them, even if they actually adore them.
Hope that makes you feel a lil reassured :)
Yeah I kinda get that :)
It's just the way he went about it. And this was after he told me that there was nothing wrong with me and I was just causing problems for myself. He was just an awful man.
'Basically what we have here is a dreamer. Somebody out of touch with reality. When she jumped she probably thought she'd fly' -Jeffrey Eugenides
