My sister

[one_step_closer]

I'm glad your sister is doing better, I hope you can both be a support for each other when she is home.

[tamobhuuta]

My mum and CPN both want me to eat more. I want to eat less. I don't know what to do!

[chinahorse]

Can you ask ypur mum and cpn why they are saying this? Then you can see if it's logical. And ask for help to make it happen.

[tamobhuuta]

They say it will give me more energy. But my GP said my lack of energy was due to a vitamin D deficiency and the supplement will give me more energy.

[Auror.]

Bodies can't really absorb supplements properly if you aren't also eating enough along with taking them.

[Pi.R^2]

I'm so pleased to hear that N seems to be doing better and is safe enough to come home. Is her discharge still going ahead tomorrow?

I agree with your mum and CPN. Even if you did also have a vitamin D deficiency causing low energy (I didn't actually realise that that was a common symptom of low vitamin D), a low intake always also contributes to low energy, as well as all the other complications of restricting. Why do you want to eat less?

[tamobhuuta]

She's meeting the psych tomorrow but if there's nothing new she'll be discharged.

Eating less makes me feel in control and I think I'm gaining weight.

[one_step_closer]

What is it you want to be in control of? You can still eat well and be in control of that, plus it's ok to gain weight when you're a healthy weight.

[tamobhuuta]

My appetite? Once I start eating sweet things I can't stop.

[one_step_closer]

Appetite can be quite hard to control, it depends on what your body needs. You don't have many sweet treats though do you? Eating more doesn't mean you have to eat things where you feel like you have little control.

[Auror.]

This may actually sound counter intuitive, but any type of restriction mentality (whether actively restricting or just not allowing yourself certain foods) does make you more likely to binge or feel like you are eating in an out of control manner.

I know it might not work for you, but allowing myself open access to sweet foods DID increase bingeing at first, but once I realised I could just have the food any time I want, it slowed down and now I can have a reasonable amount when I feel like it. It just took a little bit of time for my head to realise that the food was allowed and was not going to disappear or be not allowed again.

[tamobhuuta]

That idea really scares me.

[Auror.]

I can understand that would be a scary concept. You don't have to do it, do what works best for you.

[one_step_closer]

Have there been things that have helped in the past?

[tamobhuuta]

I had a snack. I didn't have to, I was just hungry. Now I feel fat and guilty. I don't know what to do.

[one_step_closer]

If your body was telling you it was hungry then you're supposed to eat. It's ok to snack even if you're not hungry. I'm sorry it's left you feeling fat and guilty but remember that those feelings don't mean you actually are any of those things. What might you be able to do to accept that you have basic needs and it's ok to fulfil them?

[tamobhuuta]

Your assurances mean a lot to me. I made a cup of tea to relax and am watching TV to distract. But the guilt is bubbling away. I might tell my sister or mum how I'm feeling.

[one_step_closer]

Sharing your feelings sounds like a good idea rather than keeping them inside where they might end up getting bigger and bigger. I know that your family are supportive of you. Well done with all the things you're trying.

[tamobhuuta]

I asked my sister for help and she was lovely. Said it was just a thought with no evidence and I've had thoughts in the past that turned out to be false.

[tamobhuuta]

Two things

Most importantly, my sister has finished her ECT and I am worried she will lose the progress she has made because she's still not great.

Secondly, I want to eat less and lose weight but no one will back me up and i don't want an argument.