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Old 09-09-2019, 12:45 PM   #21
Eska
 
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Hope it's helpful today. I'm thinking of you.





It's a long way down
On this rollercoaster.



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Old 09-09-2019, 01:00 PM   #22
EyelinerAndCigarettes
 
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Thank you :)







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Old 09-09-2019, 01:16 PM   #23
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Thinking of you x

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Old 09-09-2019, 02:28 PM   #24
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Hope you are OK xxx thinking of u

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Old 09-09-2019, 02:38 PM   #25
Pomegranate
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Hope today goes ok lovely x





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Old 09-09-2019, 02:46 PM   #26
one_step_closer
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Adding to the good wishes. <3





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-09-2019, 04:21 PM   #27
EyelinerAndCigarettes
 
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Thanks all, it went well, she didn't offer much advice other than she could attend appointments with me.

She kept saying congratulations and that I'd make a good mum which made me feel pretty uncomfortable for some reason.

She did say she'd inform other people in my care though to save me having to re-tell a lot of times which is useful. For some reason, I just want to cry. I feel overwhelmed I guess.







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Old 09-09-2019, 04:34 PM   #28
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I can understand why you'd feel overwhelmed. I'm glad you have some support and don't have to tell everyone else in your treatment team from scratch. It must be hard to hear all these Mum related things when you weren't expecting this. When are you next due some support? What might you be able to do for yourself right now to express things and soothe yourself?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 09-09-2019, 04:44 PM   #29
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You've shared some pretty big information that was difficult for you to talk about. It's okay to feel overwhelmed after that! I'm glad that she can tell your other providers and potentially go to appointments with you if you want.

If comments or specific phrases feel unhelpful or make you uncomfortable, I think it would be okay to say that to them as well. This is new for you, so it's bound to bring up a lot of things that you wouldn't necessarily know about in advance.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 09-09-2019, 04:49 PM   #30
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Everyone else has already given really good thoughts so I just want to echo that, and to say it's okay to talk about all of the feelings here, even if they seem less than 'pretty or 'neat'.

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Old 09-09-2019, 04:54 PM   #31
EyelinerAndCigarettes
 
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Thank you all.

I guess it is understandable but I always feel like I should be the strong one so feeling so vulnerable is difficult. I have more support tomorrow and perhaps I will mention that talking all about babies and being a mother and stuff is difficult to comprehend.

I spoke to my partner about how I was feeling and he said I have him but it's odd cause yes I do and I'm very grateful for him and all the support I'm getting from the MH team but I still feel very alone in this.

I managed to ring the GP just now and they've referred me to the midwife so that's one thing sorted.









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Old 09-09-2019, 04:58 PM   #32
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It sounds to me like you're being pretty strong. Talking about this stuff with professionals is really difficult and in itself takes a lot of strength. Being vulnerable takes a lot of strength and shows a lot of willingness on your part.

It also makes sense to me to feel grateful for the support of your team and your partner but feel simultaneously alone. It's something that's happening to your body, and while the situation impacts others, it doesn't have an impact on anybody else's body.

So proud of you for how you're handling everything, even though it's clear it's been a massive struggle. I hope you can be kind to yourself through this.



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 09-09-2019, 05:20 PM   #33
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Thank you <3

Yes, that's exactly it - Feeling lonely in this because its my body and my brain and all these changes are happening.

I feel guilty for not being happy all the time.







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Old 09-09-2019, 05:31 PM   #34
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Change is really difficult, even if it's a change you are okay with. Something like this is a huge change, so you don't have to be happy about it all the time, or even any of the time!

Also, like, I know this sounds dumb and I don't mean this to invalidate how you feel, but hormones can really impact your mood and energy levels, as can physical changes in your body. I imagine being pregnant can do some wonky things to hormones and your body. I'm not pregnant, but I do take hormones and I can definitely feel a difference when they aren't stable.

However you feel is okay. <3



You can't always keep it separate.
This is happening, this is part of you.


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Old 09-09-2019, 06:19 PM   #35
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Please don't feel guilty for anything and certainly not for not being happy all the time. None of us are happy all the time, however it may look sometimes on social media etc and no matter what the circumstances. My good friend who also suffers badly with mh issues is pregnant with twins and she is struggling to cope too. I can understand why you feel this way and relate to your loneliness and I relate to struggling with being vulnerable. It's so hard. Try taking one day at a time if you can or even an hour or a minute at a time if you need to. I am glad you have support though from your partner at least plus mh team so I hope you're able to talk to either of them. Sending you my love x

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Old 09-09-2019, 07:12 PM   #36
EyelinerAndCigarettes
 
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Thank you both







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Old 09-09-2019, 07:38 PM   #37
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Sending love n hugs xxxx

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Old 11-09-2019, 05:02 PM   #38
one_step_closer
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How are you getting on? It's ok not to share if you don't want to. Sending love.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 12-09-2019, 08:24 PM   #39
EyelinerAndCigarettes
 
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Thanks for asking.

I'm struggling - feeling very low.







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Old 12-09-2019, 11:49 PM   #40
Pomegranate
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You’ve had an awful lot to take in, even without the lack of meds, nicotine etc. Keep using this as a safe place to talk . Has your team mentioned referring you to perinatal at all?





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