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Old 10-12-2019, 07:15 PM   #1561
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Not coping. I don't really have any words other than the staff are murderers.

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Old 10-12-2019, 08:13 PM   #1562
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You sound very distressed and feeling alone. Are there people out with the ward you still trust, such as your support workers?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 10-12-2019, 10:14 PM   #1563
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My support workers have been told not to visit by discharge coordinator for ages

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Old 11-12-2019, 03:37 PM   #1564
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What's happening with your family at the moment, are you still not getting on with them? Who is there for you?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 12-12-2019, 05:09 PM   #1565
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Things with my family are fine atm. They are being really supportive. Had my review yesterday and completely broke down because of losing my friend and finding her dead etc. I asked for discharge but she just kept saying she couldn't do that. But because of what's happened and because they are realising this place is more detrimental to me than helpful we are discharge planning and my support workers are meant to be coming to my next review and hopefully my care co as well. Atm my grief has turned into a lot of anger because I know my friend was failed by the hospital and staff. It's hard to hold it together.

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Old 12-12-2019, 07:48 PM   #1566
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I'm glad you have people there for you and you are getting support to work towards discharge. I can understand your grief and anger. Do you know of ways you can express/deal with those emotions safely?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 12-12-2019, 08:19 PM   #1567
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Thank you. My care co is ringing me tomorrow even though it's her day off. I'm scared to talk to her because my mum told her I was the one who found my friend dead and she also was her care co. And I'm scared I will just break down. I can't cope. I really can't.

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Old 13-12-2019, 12:14 PM   #1568
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It's ok if you get upset with your CC, it's natural. You have been through a trauma and it's better to express that than keep it all inside until it builds up to being way too much. I hope it helps to talk to your CC.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-12-2019, 03:38 PM   #1569
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Thank you. It helped a bit. We didn't go into the ins and outs of it all but I said how distraught and traumatised I am. She's working on my care package. Really hoping for more hours and for my support workers to get back involved again . Seeing my Care co both Tuesday and Wednesday x

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Old 13-12-2019, 04:40 PM   #1570
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Fingers crossed you get a package that is good for you, will you have any say in it at all? I'm glad your CC is playing an active role in things. How are you doing?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-12-2019, 06:38 PM   #1571
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Yes she will be going through it all with me and I should have input into it. It's hard to think about after what's happened though. I'm so distraught.

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Old 13-12-2019, 08:04 PM   #1572
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Do you think it would help to talk about your grief with your CC/someone else?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 13-12-2019, 09:01 PM   #1573
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Yeah I think if she allows me time to talk about it that would help

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Old 14-12-2019, 03:33 PM   #1574
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I hope she does allow you to talk about it, I think it's important to try and process things.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 16-12-2019, 07:58 PM   #1575
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Thank you me too.

Spoke to my psychologist today and she's giving me a bit more time from now on. We are trying EMDR Wednesday so am a bit apprehensive about that. I just had a chat with one of the HCAs who's really caring and she seemed really understanding about the situation regarding my friend's death.

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Old 16-12-2019, 08:03 PM   #1576
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Do you feel ok with working with the psychologist now? I hope the EMDR will be useful. I'm glad the HCA was supportive.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 16-12-2019, 10:22 PM   #1577
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Yeah I do now cause she actually listened and did something about it. But I'm worried it's too late. Thank you and me too. I'm quite worried about the EMDR I don't know what to expect.

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Old 17-12-2019, 12:51 PM   #1578
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Were you given some info about it? I understand that even info can't tell you exactly how you'll feel etc though. You're in a safe environment with the psychologist and I'm sure she'll do her best to support you through the process. Do you have specific worries or a general fear of not knowing what to expect?





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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Old 17-12-2019, 03:52 PM   #1579
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Yes I was. That's true at least it's with someone I know and trust. I'm scared I'll lose control.

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Old 17-12-2019, 04:42 PM   #1580
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The psychologist will be very well trained in keeping you safe and managing your emotions. I'm sure there will be a way to stop things if you're feeling like things are becoming uncomfortable for you. Have you said to her that you're scared of losing control? It would be good to talk about that first I think.





I put it down on paper and then the ghost does not ache so much.


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