I'm sorry to make a thread, just need to say this somewhere. Things have been terrible for months now. The last month in particular has been the worst in years. Feeling suicidal. Taking staggered overdoses. Cutting. Really struggling with work, relationships, coping...
On mondays I do emotional regulation group therapy for my BPD and spoke to one of the facilitators before it, saying how I'm really struggling and don't feel very safe. He said he'll get my care coordinator to get in contact with me as this is "urgent" but she hasn't and it's been a day. She's my new cc. She has read in my notes that I am not very likely to contact the team even when struggling so the fact that I tried and... well, nothing came from it...
Just not coping with anything right now. My entire body aches. I'm gonna go doctors tomorrow as the therapist said I'll need blood work done and perhaps get a sick note to. Can barely look after myself. Housemates are super worried. Trying their best. It just hurts, so so much. I'm sorry for taking up space.
I'm sorry you're struggling so much.
perhaps you could mention to your doctor about waiting for your cc to call and may be they would phone her if you don't feel able to.
I really do hope your cc gets in contact with you
do you think if you've not heard from her by Friday you could call her then and ask for some more support?
Thank you for replying.
cc got in contact yesterday but I missed the call.
Really struggling. Don't wanna feel like this anymore. Cant cope with people or adult life or anything it's just too much
oh it's so frustrating when you're waiting for a call and then you miss it!
i hope your cc tries and phones you again today.
can you use some of your emotional regulation skills to help you get through?
do you have any prn?
hang in there
x
doctor has signed me off sick, increased meds and called up the mental health team again; i was honest and said that i felt too depressed to do anything suicide wise but if it lessened slightly i dont know if i'll be entirely safe. one of my friends has been horrible about the sick leave and i feel guilty as hell.
been doing some adult colouring today as a relaxation / distraction.
really appreciate the replies <3 hope you're ok
My boyf, who is noted down as my carer, can't cope with me on top of his own mental health. Everything and everyone would be better if i weren't around. so much shame and guilt and i'm panicking like hell. i just want to slip away quietly. i wish i was invisible and didn't go to the doctors. i'm a burden
It can be really hard not to feel like a burden, especially in the midst of a crisis. However if you check the facts it sounds like the people around are concerned and want to help you, hence your doctor contacting the mental health team. They wouldn't do that if they didn't think you needed the support. Did you end up speaking with your CC?
I know it's incredibly hard when your feeling like this to even think about the skills you have been learning but this is the best time to put them into place when things are hard. Hold on there, this will pass.
"Recovery is something that you have to work
on every single day and it's
something that doesn't
get a day off."
If you need sick leave, you need it, regardless of what this so called friend thinks. It doesn't sound as though they understand the difficulties that you are going through, but don't let one persons opinions minimize your struggles. A doctor would not sign you off sick for no reason.
I'm sorry to hear that your bf is struggling with his MH too. If you try and turn it around about him being better off without you. So you being better off without him, would you honestly say that is true? Sometimes it takes us looking at things differently, because feeling very low can highly distort what we think other people are thinking about us.
I would encourage you to keep using distractions such as colouring if you find it useful.
Keep talking to us <3
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
It's OK to take sick leave. People get unwell and they get signed off - and it feels horrible, but it is necessary. GPs don't sign people off for no reason.
Does your BF get and carers support? I know that has helped my Mum in the past. That does not mean that you are a burden or that you should not be around, just that there are sometimes people that carers can speak to about their worries that might make things easier for you both.
Thinking of you.
“Our defeats are softened and our victories are sweetened because we did it together.” - Toby Ziegler.
Heya. Spoke to the cc, we now have an appointment next week. She doesn't agree with me being signed off work. Boyf is seeing someone on Monday about his own struggles. Don't really have anything new to add; just taking everything as it comes. Feeling so very fatigued... thank you all for replying, it means the world xx
Wish I could run away. Away from people and myself and life. Can't but gosh would it be nice... overwhelmed with shame and guilt, fear and feeling so trapped. It's been 2 years since last signed off sick and I hate doing the therapy, taking meds, doing the skills but still end up in this dark place. And people end up effected even though it's my own mess. I'm so lucky people care But hurting them hurts
It doesn't matter what your cc thinks about you being signed off work - she isn't you and she doesn't live in your head, so disregard what she thinks on that subject.
