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Old 09-12-2007, 12:13 AM   #241
Spud
 
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I was a christian till I was 12, but thats when things started going wrong for me and I spent 4 years of depression. I honestly never once doubted that I was alone all that time, I just couldn't imagine there being a god. Over the last 2 years I've just about got my life back together, and then it hit me out of the blue, god was there,I just failed to see it all that time. Over the last few months I've been learning more and more about god. But as far as self harm and christianity and god go together I'm not sure where it all fits. I still find it hard to believe that god can forgive my sins of cutting when I can't forgive myself for them.
I'm too afraid to tell any of the new christians I've met about my past self harm or the leaders of the group I go to, I don't know why I want to tell them, but I feel I'm being dishonest not telling them and feel like they'd be able to give me some insight about where self harm stand with god, so that my feelings of unworthiness and guilt don't stop me from building my relationship with god. The other thing is how will they react if I tell them I used to self harm, they are such happy people full of gods love and I don't know whether they would understand being in my situation.3

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Old 09-12-2007, 02:27 AM   #242
healingraine
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I understand that you feel like they won't understand your situation, but think about it, nobody is perfect. Everyone has things in their life that they're not proud of. You'll never know how they'll react until you tell them.

I always thought I would be rejected if any of the people at my church found out, but when they did find out, they were loving and supported me in my struggle to quit.



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Old 10-12-2007, 07:44 AM   #243
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In church today I went and talked to one of the college pastors. She knows that I have SIed in the past, but didn't know that it was still going on. I told her and she just held me and prayed for me. It felt so good to just be hugged and to know that she was not looking down on me, but wanting to see me get better. I just hope that I can. That is probably my biggest fear- that I will tell people I am getting better when I am not and they will find out and I will let them down.
She also told me to feel free to call her, email her or grab her after church anytime if I needed to talk. If only she knew how hard it actually is to talk about it to people that I know.
Have any of you guys had a lot of trouble putting you thoughts into words before? Did you get over it? How?



"Unless you have lived my life hush, because the scars on the outside aren't as many as the scars on the inside."

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Old 10-12-2007, 02:36 PM   #244
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I have never had the courage to tell anyone in my Church, I want to Albert because I am pretty sure that he will understand and help me because he is such an amazing Christian and he alsop works in prisons helping prisioners so I would love to be able to tell him but i don't have the guts.

Sorry that is no help at all.



"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."

Eleanor Roosevelt (1996)


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Old 10-12-2007, 02:47 PM   #245
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Hey

I've been a Christian since I was 3, but, well, I'm not so good at it anymore...I'll get there in the end.

I found this on the internet.

Suddenly just watching it I just cried and cried and cried. There are times when we feel so far away from God and we don't know what to do. Maybe we don't even realise how far away we are. But please, watch it and find some comfort in it. It really hit home to me, as all the sequence of events in this sketch have happened to me, in pretty much the same order, and i just cried and cried and cried. It's truely an awesome sketch, and it's very obvious that the Lord was truely moving in that place when this was performed.

Hope you find some encouragement in it

Let me know what you think

etwib

xxxx



Human emotion is our strength and weakness, we would die not to feel...but to not feel is to die
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(AndBreathe is my angel)


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Old 10-12-2007, 08:54 PM   #246
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I love that video! I have seen it multiple times before and every time it still makes me cry.
Absi, it took God making me go. I didn't realize that I was talking to her until I was next to her and crying on her shoulder. But I am very glad that I did talk to her. It just helped me to see that God has put in in certain places and around certain people for a reason. I know that most people at my church back home (I am in college now) would have reacted differently.



"Unless you have lived my life hush, because the scars on the outside aren't as many as the scars on the inside."

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Old 11-12-2007, 04:02 AM   #247
healingraine
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^^^ I like that video... we watched it at sunday school... && Heather has posted it in the Christian Music thread...

&& Absi, I understand about wanting someone to know... just remember to be careful, because you never truly know how someone will react until you tell them.... Pray about it; ask God for guidance....

&& about how to actually tell him [if you decide for certain that you will]
if your cuts/scars are in a easily revealable, sort of let them be visible when you're talking to him about it... it will make it obvious what you wish to tell him a lot faster than if you have to stumble around && get the courage to actually say it...
[@ least for me, actually saying it is difficult...]



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Old 11-12-2007, 06:39 AM   #248
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Hi...I don't usually post in here but I'm just popping in for a sec to make a request. If any of you guys are Catholic, could you PM me please? I have a quick question about confession. Thanks!



Laura


"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." ~Mother Theresa


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Old 11-12-2007, 09:01 AM   #249
risenfromperdition
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ok i wanna repost one of my poems, cause i think it may help and yeh.
She tries to discern His will,
He wants the best,
She knows that much,
But how can she ever tell what that is?
What’s He whispering in her ears?
If only she knew.

She’s stuck in between what she’s been,
Who she wants to be.
She knows that with time,
He’ll show her,
In His timing,
No matter how much she wishes it were in hers,
She needs the patience to wait,
Wait down on her knees.

He can deal with her pain,
Her near constant forgetfulness-
Forgetting just how much He sacrificed-
Just for her.
He suffered all the pain she’s suffering and more,
Willingly-
Wanting to help her through it.
She needs to remember that,
He wants her to see that she’s not alone…
Far from it.

There’s a battle for her heart,
She can see the battle,
And yet she can’t seem to get herself out.
She should know His voice through it all,
But somehow it all blends together.
He’s fighting,
Winning even on the days when it seems like He’s lost forever.

Reaching out for her surrendering hands,
He offers peace,
Forgiveness-
No matter how many times she asks.

His hands still show the holes,
His back-
Bears the same scars they have for 2000 years.
He’s scarred,
Just like she is.
He understands,
He gave it all up,
Just to help her,

She’s His precious daughter,
Loved even when she’s feeling unlovable.
Forgiven even when she feels like she’s done too much,
Asked one too many times,
He never gives up on her,
Even when she thinks she’s given up on herself.


His arms are there,
Waiting for her to run straight to them.
She wants to run to hope,
Joy..
Peace,
Love.
He’s waiting…
She just has to let it all go,
Jump out of that boat,
Take that terrifying leap of faith towards a new life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
also, when i told my best friend at my youth group, i found out that she too had cut in the past.... soooo the moral of the story is, you may find that other people feel the same way and have done similar things (to spud)
~~~~~~~
finals next week :\ well one's due friday :\ *panic*



“The good things don’t always soften the bad, but vice-versa, the bad things don’t necessarily spoil the good things and make them unimportant.”
“Nobody important? Blimey, that’s amazing. Do you know, in nine hundred years of time and space I’ve never met anyone who wasn’t important before.”
“If it’s time to go, remember what you’re leaving. Remember the best. My friends have always been the best of me.”

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Old 11-12-2007, 11:31 PM   #250
healingraine
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It's so nice when that happens but ... yeah... always be careful about who you tell... some people will be less than kind... :no:


[I'm a bit obsessed with smileys today!]
:romantic: :french::lol: :moody: :think:



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Old 11-12-2007, 11:45 PM   #251
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*giggles*

really nice poem heather. Thanks for sharing it hun, yoru so talented.

I told a raelly close friend of mine a lot of stuff last night, part from he is in Spain atm so I e-mailed him it cos he wanted to know and then he rang me up and was like reassuring me loads that he was fine with it and then told me that he used to a little bit when he was my age. It cost him loads ringing me from Spain, bless him.



"A woman is like a teabag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."

Eleanor Roosevelt (1996)


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Old 13-12-2007, 04:22 AM   #252
healingraine
Psalm 34
 
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That's great! I'm happy for you!

[random info... We have a new girl at school, && she definitely is/used to be a cutter... I saw the scars on her upper arm... It couldn't be anything else... I'm not sure if I should say anything, because maybe she's over it & bringing it up would upset her, but maybe she'd like to talk about it? //idk, i'll just wait & see if it comes up.]



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Old 13-12-2007, 08:52 AM   #253
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Salanna View Post
That's great! I'm happy for you!

[random info... We have a new girl at school, && she definitely is/used to be a cutter... I saw the scars on her upper arm... It couldn't be anything else... I'm not sure if I should say anything, because maybe she's over it & bringing it up would upset her, but maybe she'd like to talk about it? //idk, i'll just wait & see if it comes up.]

might not be the best idea.
it could trigger her.

but on the other hand it might be better because it would mean she had somone to talk to about it.

do what you think is right.

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Old 13-12-2007, 09:27 AM   #254
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hey

ive never posted here before, and well i just watched that video and cried my eyes out



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Old 13-12-2007, 03:29 PM   #255
Strict Machine
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Has anybody ever found any books about self harm and Christianity?

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Old 15-12-2007, 04:45 AM   #256
healingraine
Psalm 34
 
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Our old preacher's college professor wrote a book about it... I've never read it, but it's relatively small & inexpensive... *runs off to find link*
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/se...d%20T.%20Welch

[yeah... long link] SO, that's a page with lots of his books listed, #6 is the one about self-injury, #3 is about addictions, & #4 & 8 are about depression.. Lots of them looked to be worth reading && they're incredibly cheap... Edward T. Welch is the author if you want to look it up somewhere else.... && if you end up reading it, lemme know if its good...



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Old 15-12-2007, 04:49 AM   #257
healingraine
Psalm 34
 
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^^ & on amazon [the link i provided] you can read a few pages of it... it looks promising ...



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Old 15-12-2007, 04:56 AM   #258
healingraine
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This website is Christian run & about self-injury...
http://www.self-injury.org/
Looks pretty nice...



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Old 15-12-2007, 04:57 AM   #259
healingraine
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&& [yes another post by salanna]
Welcome Debbie!



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Old 15-12-2007, 05:09 PM   #260
Strict Machine
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Thanks Salanna that looks really helpful. I've ordered it from amazon along with one on depression. I'll tell you how they are :)

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