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Old 15-12-2015, 04:05 PM   #61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity. View Post
No, it doesn't mean you should. It's great that you're doing all these things, but I think sometimes it would be expecting too much for them to actually change how you feel. Sometimes it's just a case of passing time until you feel better - and you will feel better, because this never lasts forever, things change.

I think telling HTT about the pills would be a good idea. They're there to help you but they can only really do that if they know what's going on.
You right I need to keep distracting till this mood passes. I just find it hard to accept but I will try and accept it best I can and keep distracting.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lavalamp. View Post
Did you manage to stay safe and get some rest?
x
I was safe ish. I over medicated called 111. They said I was fine then I fell asleep.
I shouldn't have over medicated. That was a mistake and could have been a lot worse outcome
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uglyducklin View Post
God how awful. I am so sorry the nurse said that. How are you doing now?
I feel a tad bit better today.
Anxious and worried about staying safe but I did get ready and go to work for a couple of hours so that's an improvement for me.
I'm actually proud I managed that today.

It's just the nights.
The nights are so hard.
I need to have a evening plan to stay safe and less anxious.
Too much anxiety make me low and suicidal and self harmy

Some thing needs to change at night.
I dunno what yet.



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Old 15-12-2015, 04:11 PM   #62
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Hugs I'm sorry I don't have anything great to add . Night time is awful I can so relate

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Old 15-12-2015, 06:44 PM   #63
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Well done for managing to go to work :)

I understand, nights are the worst time for me to. What has helped me is to have a whole bunch of things I can do in the evenings, and that I will commit to doing before doing anything harmful. I try to make it things that I enjoy (or, when I wasn't feeling good, things that I used to enjoy) and that don't take too much effort, and I can do one of them and then when things start getting too much, I'll switch to doing something else because that kind of helps to give me a break from scary thoughts. So for me, things like working on my crafts, coming on RYL, doing a bit of reading if I can, painting my nails, whatever. Maybe you could come up with a list of things that could help you keep distracted in the evenings. Include what to do and who to call if it isn't enough and you can't keep yourself safe.



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 16-12-2015, 12:35 AM   #64
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Thanks that's a good idea.

I exhausted myself today and I feel better for it.

I'm more relaxed and less of a risk.
The thoughts are still there but they aren't gonna go away over night.
I'm cosy in bed but can't sleep. I have something or should I say some one on my mind who I care about but am really worried about. I will have to pray for her. Pray she is OK.

I want to save her and dunno if that's possible. I will try though x



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Old 16-12-2015, 11:51 PM   #65
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Bit of a better day. But then the night time comes and I can't sleep and start thinking about oding.


I need to get these thoughts out my head before I act on them and ruin every thing



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Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 17-12-2015, 02:09 AM   #66
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*hugs*



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Old 17-12-2015, 02:10 PM   #67
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Low on words but keep your chin up sweetie. Can't wait to see you later on. Love you. X



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Old 19-12-2015, 05:09 PM   #68
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Kate could do with some support right now, she is struggling at the moment and is needing help and support.

Kate, darling you mean a lot o us please please be safe. you will be okay i know you will be. i know this is a hard time for you and i can't imagine what you're going through but you can do this. I'm always here if you need me too be! take care please and look after yourself!



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Old 19-12-2015, 10:14 PM   #69
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Thanks.

I've been in a&e 8 hours waiting for a bed as I'm being admitted again.

I'm thinking about leaving because I just don't wanna go. I do wanna live.
I can survive like this any longer



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I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 19-12-2015, 10:26 PM   #70
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I'm so sorry to hear this. Is someone with you ?

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Old 20-12-2015, 09:24 PM   #71
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I'm on the ward I waited 12 hours to get a he'd but I've got one now.

I feel a bit safer and they are starting me back on quietapine tonight. Which should help with sleep at least.

I'm still very suicidal and have a plan. It will likely kill me if I go through with it.
So I need time speak to the Dr about it tomorrow in ward round and my care plan which was started by a nurse today.



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Old 21-12-2015, 12:06 AM   #72
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You said earlier you realised you didn't actually want to die? What changed?





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Old 21-12-2015, 12:48 PM   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pomegranate View Post
You said earlier you realised you didn't actually want to die? What changed?
I think the duration of the depression. The deepening of it. I just can't cope anymore longer.

I saw the Dr today. He didn't ask how I was so I didn't tell him about my plan.
He added quietapine to my aripiprizole so I'll be taking both now. Hope it helps. I don't have much hope.
He doesn't care I'm suicidal he just cares about getting me off the ward from xmas. Which I don't even care about.

Whatever I'll just see if the meds help.
I'm seeing him again Wednesday or Thursday.

I just wanna die.
I've given up



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Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 21-12-2015, 05:52 PM   #74
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Sorry you're feeling so low and that you don't feel the doctor cares. What makes you think he doesn't care that you're suicidal?

I'm guessing that he thought he was being helpful talking about getting you of the ward before Christmas, and I imagine that's a priority for a lot of people in hospital at the moment (though I appreciate you've said that's not a concern for you right now), so he probably just assumed that that would be the case for you. He should have checked though!!

Could you talk to one of the nurses about how you're feeling?

I hope you find the medications helpful.



We’ll find a way to fight it, we always have.
It's not how tragically we suffer but how miraculously we live.


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Old 24-12-2015, 01:13 PM   #75
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sorry to bump this but im really suggling with thoughs of suicide.

I want to kill myself on Christmas day. because im that selfish.

I donnt know why I feel this bad.

the meds have helped a little but the obsession to self distruct is still there.

I need help.



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 25-12-2015, 08:43 PM   #76
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I hope you're safe. If you don't feel safe, is there anyone you can call??? I think it might be best if you're with people right now...

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Old 26-12-2015, 08:01 AM   #77
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Thanks.
I'm safe.
Been staying with friends and mood has improved a lot.

X



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 26-12-2015, 10:27 AM   #78
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Thread closed on OP's request.





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