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Old 12-12-2015, 06:27 PM   #41
Ballerina123
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Emma - Torworth lilacs



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 12-12-2015, 06:32 PM   #42
[Luna]
 
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How are you coping? I know that can be a difficult ward to be on.
The staff are not overly receptive.

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Old 12-12-2015, 06:44 PM   #43
Ballerina123
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Not coping.
Just feel like I've been locked up for no reason.
No on talks to me..
I had more people to talk to when I was with htt at home



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 12-12-2015, 07:56 PM   #44
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I'm sorry to hear you've been admitted when you don't feel you should be. Can you go up to any staff and ask for a chat? Nurses always look busy but if you approach them they will take time to speak with you.

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Old 12-12-2015, 08:05 PM   #45
Ballerina123
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I found a nurse who is trying to find out why I'm here by reading my notes.

She said I appear low and a risk. How does someone appear a risk?
She said it was my body language and the fact I was upset.
How is body language a risk?
I'm upset because I don't understand.



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 12-12-2015, 09:36 PM   #46
Snow White.
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Maybe it's the suicidal thoughts and wanting to overdose that made you a risk?

I'm sorry you are not sure why you're there, that must be so frustrating. I hope they can help you though so that even if you don't know why you're there it can still benefit you.

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Old 12-12-2015, 10:25 PM   #47
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I'm suicidal now.. like nothing matters.
People are playing with my head.
I can't tell staff because they will keep me in longer
I'm broken.
I'm lost
I'm lonely
I'm over



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 12-12-2015, 10:27 PM   #48
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You posted here saying you were suicidal with intent to carry it out. That's what makes you a risk and unsafe to remain in the community- they put you in hospital to prevent you harming yourself. It's not a conspiracy. They are just wanting to help you to get better in a safe place.



Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything is different…

you once called your brain a hard drive, well say hello to the virus.


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Old 13-12-2015, 02:53 PM   #49
[Luna]
 
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^ I agree completely.

Did the member of staff get back to you and explain to you why you are there?

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Old 13-12-2015, 03:46 PM   #50
Disa
 
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Ballerina please don't give up.

You are worth so much more and you matter. Your life and your future and all that you are and will be all matter. You're important please remember that and I'm sure that your care team have your best interests in mind. Can you tell them how you are feeling? They'll be best placed to help you if they know what's going on in your thoughts.

What happened to you was not your fault. You didn't cause it and no one should have said you did. That must have made you feel terrible but that was one tactless person and not everyone is the same. Look at the encouraging messages here and know people care about you.

It's good you feel you can open up here so keep doing that if it helps you and I'm sure you'll get lots of support.

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Old 13-12-2015, 05:16 PM   #51
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Hi how are you now? I'm so sorry you are hurting I hope you are feeling more supported. I agree with everything that the others have said.

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Old 13-12-2015, 07:23 PM   #52
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A nurse just said to me "what you in here for this time?"
Like I ******* chose it. Like I planned it or did anything.
I don't know why I'm here that's the whole thing I'm annoyed about.
Pisses me off.
This is some sort of plan they have to ruin me and my career. A conspiracy. I'm sick of their lies and manipulation.

I'm not doing well.
I'm suicidal and very low and can't get out of bed but I'm not telling them because I'm getting out of here as soon as.


I'm such a failure for being here.
I failed at managing my illness.

I hate myself and the system



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 13-12-2015, 09:30 PM   #53
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I don't know what to say to the Dr tomorrow to get out.
I need to get out of here



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 13-12-2015, 11:26 PM   #54
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What the nurse said was very insensitive, so I'm not surprised you are upset.

I know you don't want to be in there, but please try and be honest with the doctor. Your safety is the most important thing <3



'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥


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Old 14-12-2015, 01:51 AM   #55
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Don't mind those nurses.
Hope you will be ok with the proper meds and rest.



It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.

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Old 14-12-2015, 09:57 PM   #56
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I asked to be discharged so I was discharged then HTT had a go at me for asking for that when I think it is what I needed and what was best for me. hospital made me worse.


Im suicidal tonight. I cant cope. Im scare of myself. I have pills and I havnt handed them in. I need them to OD on.
try writing, tried music, tried reading, tried calling a friend, try talking to htt (but not about the medication stash), tried meditation, ect.
I still wanna die. does that mean I should?



The average,
well-adjusted adult
gets up at 7.30am feeling just plain terrible.


Call me Kate.

I have dyslexia so please excuse my poor spelling and sometimes poor understanding.


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Old 14-12-2015, 10:28 PM   #57
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No, it doesn't mean you should. It's great that you're doing all these things, but I think sometimes it would be expecting too much for them to actually change how you feel. Sometimes it's just a case of passing time until you feel better - and you will feel better, because this never lasts forever, things change.

I think telling HTT about the pills would be a good idea. They're there to help you but they can only really do that if they know what's going on.



"I know you're sad, so I won't tell you to have a good day. Instead, I advise you to simply have a day.
Stay alive, feed yourself well, wear comfortable clothes, and don't give up on yourself just yet.
It'll get better. Until then, have a day."


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Old 15-12-2015, 12:56 AM   #58
consequential
 
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maybe try sleeping.



It became like a sort of prison. Encased in a silver shell, words so full of bleeding need spilled like drops on dry leaves. And all the while laughter prevailed a long way from here. Nowhere land, nowhere time, nowhere space.

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Old 15-12-2015, 07:39 AM   #59
[Luna]
 
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Did you manage to stay safe and get some rest?
x

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Old 15-12-2015, 02:58 PM   #60
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God how awful. I am so sorry the nurse said that. How are you doing now?

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