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Old 02-08-2012, 02:45 AM   #1
wheresthelight
 
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What is the point in recovering? *possibly triggering*

I don't get it. Okay, so I've been self harming for like 8 months. My mom has forced me to go to counseling for the past like 3 or 4 months as soon as she found some of my "tools" in my room. Anyway, I don't want to go and I've tried to figure out multiple ways to wind up not having to go to counseling or fake being "better" so that I can stop going. I don't see the point of recovering. It helps... What's the point? It helps release negative feelings. It helps me feel alive when I feel numb inside. It gives me something I can control. It's a way to punish myself when I eat too much or do some other stupid thing. It doesn't hurt anyone else; just me. Its not like im cutting someone else. And there's no way to justify that is causes them emotional pain because i physically hurt myself. And sure, it's not the most healthy way to release things...but it's what I've become used to and I don't go very deep so it's not like it's going to kill me. And I just feel like I am being pressured to do something that I don't want to do. I don't want to quit. But I feel like I'll always be looked down upon by my parents if I don't quit...but I genuinely do NOT want to quit. Ugh. Sorry for ranting.



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Old 02-08-2012, 04:20 AM   #2
lilmissjay
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Honestly, cutting may seem like you are the one in control, but it can also go way out of hand faster then you think. Even though you aren't cutting someone else, it still causes them just as much pain when they see someone they love and care about hurting themselves. I can understand what you are going through because I said and felt those same things when I first started. No one can make you talk in counseling or for you to tell the truth about how you are truly feeling, but if you keep lying and not giving counseling a chance then you are only hurting yourself in the long run. Plus, recovery is "easier" if you work on it sooner rather then putting it off for years. Anyways... That is my own opinion and I know you may not agree with it, but I really do hope things start to look up for you. Take care :)






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Old 02-08-2012, 06:39 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilmissjay View Post
Honestly, cutting may seem like you are the one in control, but it can also go way out of hand faster then you think. Even though you aren't cutting someone else, it still causes them just as much pain when they see someone they love and care about hurting themselves.
Very true. Cutting is at the end of the day a pretty unhealthy coping mechanism. Can I ask why you feel so negative towards counselling?



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Old 02-08-2012, 07:26 PM   #4
PassedExpectations
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how do you think you would feel about this if it was flipped around and it was someone that you cared about harming themselves? (and i mean how would you really feel, not how would you convince yourself to feel)




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

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Old 03-08-2012, 03:46 AM   #5
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1) I have a friend who self harms... So that doesn't work on me. I feel bad that she does it but I understand it so it's not like I'm going to make her try to quit.

2) I feel negative toward counseling because I don't want to "get better." I'm fine continuing on how I am. Cutting helps, why quit? And also counseling means admitting that you have a problem. And also, counselors are full of it. It doesn't help and all they're trying to do is rip away my coping mechanism from me.



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Old 03-08-2012, 03:58 AM   #6
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i understand that you wouldn't try to force her to quit. but do you want her to continue harming herself, or would you rather she find something else positive instead? your parents just want you to be ok, and not hurting, and all the things that parents want, and the only route to getting there that they see at the moment is counseling. if you could provide them another route that would get you safe and where they want you to be, i'm sure they'd be happy to hear your suggestions.

no one can force you to stop harming. going to counseling doesn't mean that they are going to rip it away from you, or say you can never do it again. a good counselor is going to teach you other things that you can do instead so that you can choose to use those if you wish. there is no harm in going and trying to learn some new things. you can decide later on if you want to use them. having more coping skills available is always a good thing.

have you been to counseling before?

and you may feel fine right now... but that does not mean that you will feel fine in the future. and it doesn't mean that you necessarily are fine either. you might be, but you might not. and it certainly doesn't mean that your family is fine. for the sake of just appeasing them and releasing some of the tension... i would go. you really don't have anything to lose, aside from whatever sort of pride you get from insisting that nothing is wrong.

it sounds like you're getting pretty annoyed at how we are responding. i don't think that this was what you wanted to hear and i understand that you were probably looking for people to back you up. i'd get pretty frustrated too if i were you. in fact, i've gotten incredibly frustrated in similar situations. but not many people here are going to agree that you are fine and your parents shouldn't worry, because alot of us have been at the point where you're at and kept going and there was a trainwreck down the road and we had to work incredibly hard to dig ourselves out. and none of us wants to see anyone else go through that when they have the chance to avoid it




this is my magical medicine cabinet. Left to right they contain: courage, hope, calmness, and strength.

The magical part: They NEVER run out, so borrow some any time you want.



PM me anytime, I love getting messages :)
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Old 03-08-2012, 05:41 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassedExpectations View Post
i'd get pretty frustrated too if i were you. in fact, i've gotten incredibly frustrated in similar situations. but not many people here are going to agree that you are fine and your parents shouldn't worry, because alot of us have been at the point where you're at and kept going and there was a trainwreck down the road and we had to work incredibly hard to dig ourselves out. and none of us wants to see anyone else go through that when they have the chance to avoid it
This. Exactly this.



"It's just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus. All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched TV. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns. Also he got a race car. Is any of this getting through to you?" ~ Philip J. Fry


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