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Old 01-01-2008, 10:57 PM   #81
Emmer
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Sorry Something Vague, misread your post.

And Linda you're completely right; I did used to have a lot more friends on here. But times change, people leave, drift apart or whatever. I don't feel I really belong here as much anymore but then there's still a couple of people I talk to so that's why I stay here. I dunno maybe I miss being known in a way, there's been so many new people come and I don't post as much so people don't know me anymore.

/end lame post.



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Sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints.
Why do we try to define people with simply good or simply evil?
Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart and that anyone is capable of anything.


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Old 01-01-2008, 11:02 PM   #82
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Squirrelspit View Post
i just think that if people feel they need support from other RYLers that badly, make they should ask for it themselves instead of wondering why nobody is reading their minds and knowing they feel crap.
I don't think that's a fair comment to make. Besides I don't actually want support from this websites, originally I think I was on about the threads that say "So and so rocks everyone tell them how cool they are"



It’s not always that easy to distinguish the good guys from the bad guys,
Sinners can surprise you and the same is true for saints.
Why do we try to define people with simply good or simply evil?
Because no one wants to admit that compassion and cruelty can live side by side in one heart and that anyone is capable of anything.


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Old 01-01-2008, 11:03 PM   #83
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but surely, at the end of the day, it's their opinion...?
You may not feel they need to voice their opinions, or agree with them but in the same way they hurt you and whatnot, some people think it's silly. Also, silly isn't a hurtful word.
If someone said ZOMGZ YUR SOOOOOOO STUPID FOR SAYING/THINKING THAT, fair enough...
Silly may not be an inherently hurtful word, but in the context of "it's silly that you'd care about that" it sure as hell is. Yes, everyone's entitled to their opinions, and I have absolutely no problem with people saying something like "they don't bother me" or "they aren't important to me." But saying that other people's affective reaction is ridiculous, silly, inappropriate, or otherwise invalid is fairly disrespectful and hurtful. And you know, I already felt pathetic enough for having so much of my self worth depend on a bloody internet forum without having people laugh at me for it.



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Old 01-01-2008, 11:08 PM   #84
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i think really that people are saying that its perfectly valid that it upsets people, but like.... theres a whole world out there.

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Old 01-01-2008, 11:14 PM   #85
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who's laughing at you?
Well I'm assuming that "haha" means laughing, but apart from that, "silly" and "ridiculous" both imply that something is laughable. Ridiculous is defined as "deserving or inviting derision or mockery" and the definition of silly includes "ridiculously trivial or frivolous," and "laugh at" means "ridicule; scorn", which would be the appropriate response to something that's ridiculous.



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Old 02-01-2008, 11:55 AM   #86
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If you guys dont chill out this thread will get closed.

As yet, noone has directly attacked anyone else, though I have seen a few people misinterpret others posts. Please try to chill, this thread and the comments made in it have not been personal.

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Old 02-01-2008, 03:47 PM   #87
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I dont know where I really stand on the whole thing...first off am not around all that often for personal reasons and because I struggle in places like this with support and all the rest of it but I struggle with making those friendships and all the rest of it and to be any kind of personal thread rubs that in my face...I mean it must be great to have one and be able to give and recieve that support and have those friendships but they also act as a way of knocking someone who doesnt or who cant...also it seems people who do talk to each other away from the forums so cant they say things like this then?...




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Old 02-01-2008, 04:17 PM   #88
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Originally Posted by ~ Apple ~ View Post
And Linda you're completely right; I did used to have a lot more friends on here. But times change, people leave, drift apart or whatever. I don't feel I really belong here as much anymore but then there's still a couple of people I talk to so that's why I stay here. I dunno maybe I miss being known in a way, there's been so many new people come and I don't post as much so people don't know me anymore.

/end lame post.
i was the same. like, maybe one & a half years ago now. i left this place for like 9 months. and when i came back, there were all these new people everywhere and i didn't know anyone, and all these new cliques had formed, and whatever.
but i just rolled with it. and now, i'm probably a part of one of those cliques. if you post a lot and have funny/interesting things to say, then people are most probably gunna notice you, and want to be friends with you.
i don't know. even when i see new people, but they seem nice and funny, i want to be friends with them. i really dislike it when people assume that the cliques on this website [in particular, the rainbow room] are these mean people who won't be friends with anyone else.
but yeahh. complete tangent.



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Old 02-01-2008, 04:33 PM   #89
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Originally Posted by mister linda. View Post
if you post a lot and have funny/interesting things to say, then people are most probably gunna notice you, and want to be friends with you.
But what about people who don't have anything funny or interesting to say? Or people who do but are too afraid to post it? Or do only funny, interesting, confident people count for anything?

Quote:
Originally Posted by mister linda. View Post
i really dislike it when people assume that the cliques on this website [in particular, the rainbow room] are these mean people who won't be friends with anyone else.
I don't assume that the people in cliques on here aren't nice people, but that doesn't make me feel any less left out. The point isn't that clique members are mean to everyone else - they could be the nicest people in the world, but just the fact that there's a group that others aren't part of is inherently going to make people feel left out. Of course that doesn't mean that people aren't allowed to have friends, and for the most part, people weren't arguing for appreciation threads to be banned or anything, but just acknowledging that they sometimes make people feel like crap even though no one meant to be anything but nice.



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Old 02-01-2008, 04:57 PM   #90
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Not to sidetrack this thread, but I don't think that people assume that the RR group are mean and don't want to be friends with anyone else, I think instead there is a lot of misinterpreting going on.

I get the impression that the RR group (for lack of a better name to call them) talk a lot off RYL, which leads to a more acute understanding of each other, and each other's sense of humor. I think it also leads to the creation of running jokes and such that get carried on both on and off RYL.

Now, that means that the people on RYL are only seeing 1/2 of the situation, and honestly, more than a couple of times I have seen people in that particular group say something in jest that out of context looks really nasty and rude. For someone who doesn't know that it's a joke, and the people are friends they can get the wrong impression about the people posting, and thus, have negative feelings towards them. Does that make sense?


Back on topic, just because there is a whole world out there doesn't mean that anyone should have to put up with hurtful, or distressing behavior here. The argument that we encounter that stuff is real life doesn't fly with me here. We all deserve to have somewhere where we feel safe, and for a lot of people that it RYL.



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And somebody told me you were doing okay,
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Old 02-01-2008, 05:12 PM   #91
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the big bad gayzzzz.



I roll over and hold on tightly, and whisper "If they want you, they're gonna have to fight me,"


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Old 02-01-2008, 05:12 PM   #92
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I think that most of the gays have very dry sarcastic humour (myself included) which could be taken to offence by some.

I myself find it funny.

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Old 02-01-2008, 05:18 PM   #93
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if you have a problem with the threads then just ignore them...
like...dont read them.

xxx

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Old 02-01-2008, 05:22 PM   #94
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I don't get upset by the support for x threads, the appreciation threads annoy me to some extent it's a case of what did x do thats so great.

What annoys me is if I posted a support thread I would not get as much support as others.
I don't do very much supporting, because a lot of my advice would be considered very rude/offensive. Yet thats how I've been brought up (nature/nurture shizzle).
Yet is that fair to like, ignore someone because they don't do the supporting others do?
Eh.

I barely ask for support anyway.

/whine over.
/self pitying over.

Excellent (Y)

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Old 02-01-2008, 05:33 PM   #95
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~ View Post
But what about people who don't have anything funny or interesting to say? Or people who do but are too afraid to post it? Or do only funny, interesting, confident people count for anything?
well, to be honest, i'm guessing most people just don't have the time for all those people without funny/interesting things to say.
there are thousands of people on this website, and nobody can be friends with all of them.
if those people who are afraid to post, or simply don't post, or say generic things that noone can really reply to, did post more, or changed their ways or whatever, then maybe they'd get noticed more.
its just how it works. there are loads of people on this website who i don't take any notice of because i just don't remember who they are because they never say anything memorable [in my opinion, ha]. but obviously anyway, what counts as "funny and/or interesting" to me will differ from someone else's opinion. so perhaps those people that i find boring might seem fun to other people.

Quote:
I don't assume that the people in cliques on here aren't nice people, but that doesn't make me feel any less left out. The point isn't that clique members are mean to everyone else - they could be the nicest people in the world, but just the fact that there's a group that others aren't part of is inherently going to make people feel left out. Of course that doesn't mean that people aren't allowed to have friends, and for the most part, people weren't arguing for appreciation threads to be banned or anything, but just acknowledging that they sometimes make people feel like crap even though no one meant to be anything but nice.
i think this is way sidetracking. but anyway.
i can't really see a solution to that. yeahh, there are cliques. but it just happens and not to be rude, but people should either just "make their own" or just ignore them.



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Old 02-01-2008, 07:17 PM   #96
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mister linda. View Post
if those people who are afraid to post, or simply don't post, or say generic things that noone can really reply to, did post more, or changed their ways or whatever, then maybe they'd get noticed more.
So people with social phobia should just get over it... just like people with depression should snap out of it, and people who self harm should just stop. It's not always that simple. You may find it easy to make friends or be accepted into a group, but not everyone does, and I think that there are a lot of people on RYL with a long history of being social outcasts or feeling isolated in one way or another. Of course that's not necessarily the fault of the people who do have an easier time, and I certainly don't expect that everyone can be friends with everyone or anything like that, but I do wish that some of the people who've posted here could be a little more understanding of what it feels like to be on the outside of these clique-ish threads, even if there's nothing to be done to change it.



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Old 02-01-2008, 08:56 PM   #97
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Dude somepeople sound like we're on a site called recoveryourlifeifyou'recoolenough.com

Can this thread be locked now?

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Old 03-01-2008, 01:17 AM   #98
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Aye; this is a very interesting discussion, and I'm glad that it's raised - I remember it being raised numerous times on RYL 2 - but if it continues as it is, it is going to get locked.

Can we please keep this civil, and just remember to respect each others PoVs?
Thank you :)

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Old 03-01-2008, 01:33 AM   #99
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Originally Posted by ~invisible~girl~ View Post
So people with social phobia should just get over it... just like people with depression should snap out of it, and people who self harm should just stop. It's not always that simple.
i knew as soon as i wrote that sentence it would get quoted.
to be honest, i just don't care. i doubt many/any of my friends have social phobia or anything like that, which is probably why i'm friends with them.
i never claimed people should just "snap out of it," what i was implying is that this is the internet and therefore i presume easier to reach out to people because you don't know them or whatever. plus, i'm sure those people who have got problems like that [i don't, if that wasn't obvious] are fully aware that other people may have more friends than they do, or are more confident in a group, or such. and if they want to be like that, they should act differently to they do at the moment.


Quote:
Dude somepeople sound like we're on a site called recoveryourlifeifyou'recoolenough.com
nobody said anything about people not being able to get support or "recover." the topic/discussion was about "appreciation threads." my understanding of appreciation threads was a group of people who are your friends appreciating you. you can recover or get support perfectly fine without a clique, or even without friends on this website.



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Old 03-01-2008, 02:07 AM   #100
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Ok I know I was part of this sidetracking, however, I think we should let this thread get high jacked. If we want to keep discussing cliques we can make a new thread and discuss this there.



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The beauty in life, where's it gone?
And somebody told me you were doing okay,
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