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Old 09-12-2007, 04:42 PM   #1
sopranonut
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How do you feel about taking medication?

I've just given in to my doc and gone back on my mood stabilisers (carbemazepine). I've been fighting it for a while. I've had almost a year medication free, i was so sick of taking pills every day.

Now I feel like i've given in and it almost feels like giving up? I dunno, i guess i just don't wanna take so many pils all the time. Plus now I have the side effects all over again, i feel kinda distant and out of it, but that wore off before.

Anyway, how do ou guys feel about taking medication?



Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway


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Old 09-12-2007, 04:48 PM   #2
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Hi.

I wouldn't see it like giving up, it rather is having a little bit of help in managing things that can feel overwhelming.

My treatment plan is for minimum medication possible to help manage my symptoms, and to learn to regulate my feelings through psychotherapy.

I'm on 30mg/day mirtazapine for longstanding depression and PTSD symptoms.
I also take 3.75mg zopiclone at night from time to time, when I'm feeling very raw or having trouble sleeping.
I do have propranolol to take as needed for severe anxiety or panic attacks, but I don't like it and have pretty much stopped taking it.

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Old 09-12-2007, 04:53 PM   #3
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When i first got put on anti D and sleeping tablets i was happy as i was so low i didn't know what, if anything could help. The sleeping pills enabled me to sleep (obv) and the anti D's gave me breathing space - they made me feel numb but feeling numb was great at the time as i didn't have to feel anything else so gave me space and time

but after a while i got sick of feeling nothingness so i stopped.

anyway yea pills no more unless i really really need them

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Old 09-12-2007, 05:02 PM   #4
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i hate taking meds but i know i have to or i will just get ill again.



" my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trials and suffering. When you see only one set of footprints it was then that I carried you" you were carried out of are lifes into the next and when its my time to leave this life I know i will be carried into the next life with you.
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Old 09-12-2007, 05:06 PM   #5
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if it makes me feel better-ill take anything they think i need

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Old 09-12-2007, 05:22 PM   #6
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I will take as much meds as i need to to be able to lead a fairly normal life, go to work, have a social life etc etc
I'm on quite a lot of meds; carbemazepine, quetiapine, venaflaxine and sometimes diazepam but i dont really care cus it means i can leave the house without freaking out!!

Being on meds is better than being in hospital!

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Old 09-12-2007, 05:43 PM   #7
craola
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Taking medication isn't giving up, giving up would be saying 'I've been put on medication and that's the end of everything, I'm not even going to try and recover'.

I'm on medication, high dosage of anti-depressant, anti-psychotic and I'm in the middle of switching between anti-psychotics (which sucks). If it helps you get better and helps the clever Dr people to figure out what is going to help so they can eventually take you off the meds :)
Its not a failure.

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Old 09-12-2007, 06:08 PM   #8
sopranonut
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You guys are right. I suppose i feel like this means it is a 'proper' relapse. Like i used to be on so many different pills and tried everything i just don't wanna go back there. But i suppose hopefully the meds will stop me going back there. I don't know, just feels weird taking the pills again, kinda like a horrible deja vu.



Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway


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Old 09-12-2007, 07:47 PM   #9
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Do you feel you have reached the lowest point you were at last time?

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Old 09-12-2007, 08:36 PM   #10
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no, i haven't gone that far. but i feel like i'm one small step away from falling very very fast. i guess i'm strugglinf with taking the medication because it means i have to admit that i'm not very well again.
Also, i'm doing my mental health nurse training and feel like a fraud, don't know if i can (or should) be working with psychiatric patients when i'm falling apaprt myself. Fortunately i'm not back in placement until feb so still got some time to try and sort things out.
But if i did have leave the course, i would feel like i've lost everything becuase it's my whole life and it took me a long time to get well enough to be here.



Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway


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Old 09-12-2007, 08:47 PM   #11
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i hate having to take meds im not sure why but i hate having to rely on meds but the way my doc put it was if you had diabetes youd take meds to helpso its the same said for my schizophrenia



Breathe......... keep breathing

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Old 09-12-2007, 09:55 PM   #12
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Ok, so the medication means that you are struggling again, but the fact that you have caught it before reaching that point is fantastic and it means you're fighting. As for the mental health nurse training...to be honest I think it makes you more qualified, there's nothing worse than someone saying I understand...when they really, really don't. And that's how I honestly feel, I'm not just making that up, I find talking to my psychologist the easiest because she can always relate everything I dont understand (which is a lot) to something in her life. We're here to help you hun :)

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Old 09-12-2007, 11:03 PM   #13
sopranonut
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Thank you. yeah i suppose that is why i went into it in the first place! But was feeling a lot better when i applied. Just feeling scared and gtting worried about something that might not happen, which i have tendency to do!
Thank you for all your kind words.



Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway


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Old 10-12-2007, 12:09 AM   #14
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I think you are a very brave and courageous person doing and going to do what will help many people with alot about things we all understand. I've been on venaflaxine for a few months now and just had dose increasesd pl;us taking diazepam as and when. still feel like **** but alot better than before. i wish you all the best and its certainly not a set back going back on meds its your way forward and you'll get there.
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Old 10-12-2007, 10:38 AM   #15
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I refuse to take meds. My brain chemistry is nothing to mess around with and all the other side effects scare me, too.

Marte









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Old 10-12-2007, 02:29 PM   #16
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i also wish i didnt have to take meds, but seriously if I didnt have them i wouldn't be here.

dont feel a failure for taking meds. accepting help and support is one of the hardest things to start with.
xxx



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Old 10-12-2007, 06:22 PM   #17
sopranonut
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Thank you again for all the replies. It's good to hear others points of view and know you're not the only one. Paintingflowerswhite, your reply was not too long. Thank you for explaining all that, it was very thoughtful.



Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway


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Old 10-12-2007, 06:57 PM   #18
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I'm personally a bit against how easy they are handed out and how many Doctors are using them as a first option, when it should be a last option in cases where it is not that necessary, because it's cheaper than full on therapy and gets the patients out of their hair faster. Of course there are a lot of people who simply would not be able to lead a normal, or almost normal, life without them and need them to go on with their lives...but there are also others who would lead better lives if they had a little more therapy (the good kind) and a little less drugs. Sometimes they're necessary and do a lot of good, sometimes they're not so necessary and there are other resurces to help someone but they get pushed to the bottom of the list and the drugs take precedent. That's my humble opinion, from what I've seen and my personal experience. That's is why I want to be a psychologist and not a psychiatrist.
I don't mean to be negative but in my brief walk through the (public) mental health system I encountered some good Docors and some whose work ethic just made me sick. One of the latter ones was a psychiatrist who gave me aprescription after talking to me for TWO MINUTES! (maybe even less). I had waited over a month to see him and when I sat down he asked the regular questions, "do you have suicidal thoughts, hear voices" etc..., and then he wrote a prescription and handed it to me. Told me to come see him when it was over if I wanted a re-fill. I was shocked. He didn't even know why I was there or what was wrong. He didn't ask, he didn't give me a chnce to tell him. This is what I'm against. He didn't care what was going on with me, he just figured whatever it was drugs would help me. I never saw him again obviously...and months later I found out through a psychologist (a realy good one) that he had been fired from the clinic he worked in because of his work ethic. I was happy to hear that. I don't like Doctors like him who hand out meds to anyone, anytime without even knowing what their problem is.

I personally didn't like taking anti-depressants becasue I found I was unable to think. My mind became sort of numb and even reading a book proved to be difficult because I would read three-four pages and seconds after reading them I would completely forget what I had read. Nothing stuck, nothing registered. I felt nothing, absolutely nothing...plus it made m sleepy all day long. I found that to be quite horrible because I like thinking and reading is my hobbie so for me, I hope I never have to take them again and I wouldn't do it unless it was absolutely necessary. Don't take this as though I'm telling you to do as I did, in my case it wasn't necessary as I only had a mild deppression. If you've been told you need them then take them.
I would take medication again but it'd be my last resort, when and if it is needed.
Sorry if I over did it.


Last edited by Ileana : 10-12-2007 at 07:30 PM.



"...that incremental suicide of turning your life into a dream, to make being awake as similar to sleep as possible. Drowsily, lazily, dry-mouth your way through the day's ceremonies, fumble your way back into the dew-bather you never really left, draped in brown, brown now all around, the haze!" - Russell Brand on drug addiction.

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Old 10-12-2007, 08:03 PM   #19
sopranonut
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I completely agree with you Ileana, i don't think drugs should be the first thing to try unless you can't function at all, in which case you wouldn't be able to engage in therapy.
I'm really lucky actually as i see a psychiatrist through uni and he sees me every couple of weeks for an hour. I've been seeing hime for therapy for the past year. I think he's also trained as a psychoanalyst as well as a medical doc. He's the one that prescribed my meds, so we have been trying therapy.
Also, i actually fnd that when i'm depressed i can't read or concentrate on things so i'm hoping the meds will help me get my concentration back, but we'll see.



Life breaks most of us in the end, but afterwards some of us are strong in the broken places
~ Ernest Hemingway


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Old 10-12-2007, 08:40 PM   #20
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I wouldnt be here if I werent on medication. Its really lifted my depression and helped with some of the thoughts in my head after having meds. I havent had my medication messed about with too much so its had time to have its positive effects on me. I dont mind taking meds, as long as they are in some sort of non tablet form so I can actually take them without gagging or trying to tongue them, but sometimes eugh! Liquid prozac - nasty and even worse, liquid risperidone!! But seriously, I dont think many drugs work without therapy to aid them.



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