Another newbie giving a life story. Potentially triggering?
I hope I'm posting this in the right place, I'm terrible with new websites :')
I'm Steph, I'm nineteen, (twenty in two weeks!) and from England. By day I'm an art student, by night I may or may not be a super hero...
..and I'm not even really sure if I should be on here or not, because self harm is an odd thing to classify. I rarely do it deeply enough so it bleeds but it does leave a mark for a day or so.
I first self harmed when I was about thirteen and it was something I did once or twice, due mainly to feeling like I wasn't good enough (I was, and still am over weight)
Two years ago a close friend died suddenly. We'd drifted apart during the last year of her life so I never got a chance to say goodbye.
About a year ago, I began self harming on a regular basis. I'm no expert in psychology but I'm guessing grief plays a large part.
My moods are a little ridiculous; a few months ago there were several days where I felt sick at the thought of leaving the house, and all I could do was lie in bed and cry hysterically. Nothing triggered it and nothing in particular was on my mind. I just felt bad.
I'm not as bad lately, but at least three nights a week, all I want to do is cry my eyes out for 'no reason'.
I've tried to get professional help but have been told that my old doctor's have lost my records, so I can't register with a new doctor or make an appointment with my old one until records are found.
I am officially medically invisible.
Currently, I don't feel any need to stop damaging myself because it doesn't seem like a big deal.
So, yeah. Life story over!
If I haven't scared you off, I'd appreciate a message because being new to a site is both lonely and boring~
Hope you're all having a good day ox