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Old 04-02-2013, 07:58 PM   #1
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Merseyside
I am currently:
Another newbie giving a life story. Potentially triggering?

So, hi~
I hope I'm posting this in the right place, I'm terrible with new websites :')

I'm Steph, I'm nineteen, (twenty in two weeks!) and from England. By day I'm an art student, by night I may or may not be a super hero...

..and I'm not even really sure if I should be on here or not, because self harm is an odd thing to classify. I rarely do it deeply enough so it bleeds but it does leave a mark for a day or so.

I first self harmed when I was about thirteen and it was something I did once or twice, due mainly to feeling like I wasn't good enough (I was, and still am over weight)

Two years ago a close friend died suddenly. We'd drifted apart during the last year of her life so I never got a chance to say goodbye.

About a year ago, I began self harming on a regular basis. I'm no expert in psychology but I'm guessing grief plays a large part.

My moods are a little ridiculous; a few months ago there were several days where I felt sick at the thought of leaving the house, and all I could do was lie in bed and cry hysterically. Nothing triggered it and nothing in particular was on my mind. I just felt bad.

I'm not as bad lately, but at least three nights a week, all I want to do is cry my eyes out for 'no reason'.

I've tried to get professional help but have been told that my old doctor's have lost my records, so I can't register with a new doctor or make an appointment with my old one until records are found.
I am officially medically invisible.

Currently, I don't feel any need to stop damaging myself because it doesn't seem like a big deal.

So, yeah. Life story over!

If I haven't scared you off, I'd appreciate a message because being new to a site is both lonely and boring~

Hope you're all having a good day ox

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Old 04-02-2013, 08:30 PM   #2
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: UK
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Hi Steph :)
Welcome to ryl, feel free to get in touch anytime
Take care x

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Old 05-02-2013, 01:04 AM   #3
Wonderland.'s Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2007

Hey Steph,
Welcome to RYL (:
Hope you get all the help and support you need.
See you around.

Take care.
Amy x

'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥

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Old 05-02-2013, 06:22 PM   #4
There is more to life than increasing it's speed
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Sheffield
I am currently:

Hey Steph :)
Remember, the severity of your self harm does not make it any less important to us.
I hope you find RYL helpful, and don't worry, we're not scary (well, most of us aren't hehe).
Lora x

I only visit RYL once or twice a year - see my profile for other ways to contact me xox

"I figured out it was a social thing, what women were allowed to do. At a very young age, I decided I was not going to follow women`s rules."

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Old 05-02-2013, 08:35 PM   #5
Fire Fly
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: London
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Hi Steph,
Welcome to RYL, I hope you find the support you are looking for on here.
Like ^^ mentioned above the severity of your self harm isn't important but the reasons for the self harm is important.
That seems a bit strange that they have lost your records; did they say how long it could take to 'find' them? Or just try going to a new GP surgery and see what they can do? Im sorry that you still find the need to self harm; hopefully talking to your doctor and indicate how important it is for some support and help will help you in a way to see yourself in a better light? Or you can find lots of support on RYL.
Take care,

Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar

Call me R -

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln

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Old 08-02-2013, 01:01 AM   #6
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: foreva in the well
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Other Steph! I can't believe I didn't see this thread until now. Welcome, I'm glad you joined, I hope it helps you. :) Always here if you need to talk! xx

Founder of: Capstealy avoidance method 3 aka The Steph Da First Method

The picture above was kindly created by Sentient Treacle (leafy girl)

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