Am I being treated unfairly, or do I feel entitled to something I haven't earned?

[mercycollegesucks]

Hello,

Thank you in advance for reading my post. I'm new to the site and looking for advice on a specific issue. First, I'd like to know if some unbiased people (namely you!) agree with me that I'm being treated unfairly by my school. And if I'm not being treated unfairly, I'd like to hear it and be told to just suck it up... I'll try to be brief, but this is a bit of a lengthy story.

I'm a teacher in NYC, and I have been since 2007. Back then I applied to and enrolled in the NYC Teaching Fellows right out of college. If you haven't heard of the Teaching Fellows, they're a teacher recruitment program in the city that's designed to fast track people into the career to help meet the demand for teachers in the city's worst neighborhoods, and the most needy subjects. Like math, and special education (which I teach). The program is very selective. For 2012 (the year they've got statistics for on their site) 11,804 people applied and only 916 entered training.

It's an intense training program where you're given a summer crash course before you start teaching immediately in the city's roughest areas. From the get go we were told how important the work we did was, how hard it would be to complete the program, and how much they wanted us to succeed. The program is two years long while you work to complete your masters, so I was supposed to graduate in June 2009. Everything was going fine for me – until November 2008.

I have a lifelong history of clinical depression. And although I was seeing my therapist at the time (still am) I had a string of stressful situations hit me one after that other and I had a major depressive episode. My ex fiace whom I had been with for 7 years left me and started dating another guy immediately. On the same day she broke up with me I was laid off from a part time job I still kept in addition to my teaching job, which I had been working at for 3 years. Those two things alone threw me for a loop, and my graduate course work suffered immediately. It was clear to everyone I wasn't doing well, and my weight was dropping like a rock. I managed to pass one of my courses, but didn't hand in a final paper for my other course.

Despite all the rhetoric of support and the fact that my professors knew my situation (at one point I had given them a letter from my therapist so they'd let me catch up on missing work) no one said anything to me, and the only notice I got from the college was a form letter informing me I'd failed the course and the teaching fellows would be informed. Rather than contacting the school immediately about how to fix things, I did the typical depressive response of feeling like a worthless idiot who should just kill himself.

To add icing to the cake, life threw me another curve in January of 2009 when my older brother was stabbed by my younger brother during a drunken argument. My younger brother went to jail, and thankfully my older brother lived (although for a short time it looked like he was going to die). As fallout from that, my older brother couldn't work though and lost his apartment. I'm not the closest with my family, but I had to choose between letting my brother move in with me and me having to take care of him financially, or letting him move into a homeless shelter. I let him move in with me of course.

In the Spring of 09 I had two more courses at the school the teaching fellows had paired me with, Mercy college. One of them was a direct follow up to the previous course that I failed, and the whole course actually revolved around revising and improving that final paper I hadn't finished. I reached out to the one person at the college I felt comfortable with – my site advisor who visited me at work every couple of weeks to give me feedback on my teaching and offer advice. She constantly told me that if I ever needed anything to just contact her and she'd be there for me. I know she was confident in my abilities because when it came time for her to choose one of the fellows she was working with for her and her supervisor to visit – she came to my classroom. So I e-mailed her and without saying the problem was, I said I was having a real problem and I needed her help. She said she'd come see me that Friday. Friday came, and she didn't. So I e-mailed her again asking her what happened, said I still really needed to see her and if she could contact me ASAP. She didn't reply.

All of the problems that put me in the downward spiral of depression – the fiance leaving me, the loss of the part time job, my brother being stabbed and having to move in with me – all of those things took the back burner. The real depressing thing from then on was that I didn't complete the program. My work seriously suffered, and during that time I was actually forced to take a leave of absence from teaching because of my depression, and I was even briefly hospitalized for making a joke about going to my own funeral in front of students... It was really rough.

More than a year later I still wasn't feeling ready to finish my degree, but I had to start taking classes in order to get a license extension or I'd lose my jobs. I was two classes short from graduating, but the teaching fellows no longer partnered with Mercy due to budget cuts, and they refused to transfer me to another college in the program. They said I was no longer worthy. That's another story though...

In any event, I had to stay at Mercy to get my degree and transfer to their regular education program. So I went from needing 2 courses to graduate to needing 5. I wasn't happy about it, but I enrolled. After taking 2 courses, I was forced to change my major to comply with changes in the state's certification requirements. Not Mercy's fault, but I went from needing 3 classes to graduate to now needing 5 again.

That's all the background. Now here we are, and I just finished the last two classes I needed to graduate last December. The problem is my GPA is too low. My GPA is 2.96, and the requirement for the program is a 3.0. My GPA is .04 points too low. In my mind, it's an inconsequential difference, and considering the fact that I had to transfer from the fellows, and the only course I ever failed was at the height of my depression I figured the school would cut me some slack. My academic adviser ( the one person who has been truly helpful there) told me to e-mail the associate dean. I did, explaining my situation and story and asking for an exception. I told her I could give her documentation from my therapist and psychiatrist (I'm on medication now and have been since 2009) confirming my situation. The associate dean replied matter of factly I'd have to retake a course and get a higher grade. I replied again saying that if the course I failed wasn't averaged in, my GPA would be a 3.14 (I did the math) and asked why that course was changed from an incomplete to an F, when the other course I never finished has remained an Incomplete for years. She didn't reply to me.

So I went above her and called the dean of the program. I left him a voice mail message asking to meet with him, and I also e-mailed him as a follow up. The main campus is more than an hours drive from me by the way, and I don't drive. It's a moot point though, because the dean has also ignored my requests for a meeting.

So then I reached out to my elected representatives, explaining the situation and asking for them to advocate for me to the college, and I gave the contact information for the associate dean, head dean, and the president. I contacted four different government officials at different levels, and I had one get back to me – my city councilman's office did. His aide agreed it seemed unfair of them to not factor in that I was suffering from depression at the time. She said she'd call them and would get back to me. Well, she called them and e-mailed them. And they're ignoring her too.

Because my GPA is lower than 3.0, I'm no longer eligible for financial aide. Last semester I had to put my tuition (several thousand dollars) on my credit card. I explained that to the deans too. They don't seem to care. So now it looks like I have to do that again – I have to register. At this point I'm not even really angry so much as I am exasperated. I'm just thinking: “Really...??” I think they're being incredibly insensitive by not cutting me some slack here. I should have graduated nearly $20,000 and 4 years ago, and I would have if I hadn't had some very bad things happen to me. I still could have graduated maybe, if they were anything resembling helpful like they said they would be in all their speeches...

So, that's my first question. Do you agree that I'm being treated unfairly? It might be harsh to side with the college, but if that's how you feel please don't hesitate to tell me. The rules are the rules, and am I feeling unreasonably entitled to something I haven’t earned by asking for an exception? Depending on the answers I get in response to this post, I'll have a follow up question on what else I can potentially do about it.

Any and all feedback is appreciated. Everyone I've spoken to so far is very sympathetic, but they're all my friends. And are they really going to side with the college in this situation? Not likely, so I'm looking for some impartial advice – you guys.

Thanks again in advance for any thoughts you can share, and for reading this post!

[inkyspider]

Hi there,

This sounds like a really difficult situation, and i wish i could say something helpful.
I do think you are being treated unfairly, but I know that is common. I actually had a similar issue with a depression/addiction spiral in my junior year which led to me graduating with a 2.98 GPA, and it doesn't seem to matter that that only came from 1 semester, and is only 0.02 points off the required 3.00. To continue on the path i want to go i have to pay (out of pocket) to take more courses to show i can cope with the course load.

I somewhat understand the logic of 3.0, and wanting to ensure the people they take in are able to cope academically and personally with the pressure of their program. However, i do think there should be more leeway depending on personal circumstances.

Is there anyone higher up that you can contact an explain the situation? What about a group dedicated to aiding people with depression and other disorders in situations such as these?

I wish i could help more, i just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and that I agree that it's unfair.

[PassedExpectations]

i think it would be nice if they were understanding, but that they don't have to be... the way i think of my disorders is that i can use them as and explanation but not an excuse. so, if i miss an assignment, or get a bad grade, i will tell my teacher why, but i don't try to get out of the consequences. if the teacher offers me a way out, way to raise my grade, etc, that is wonderful, and i will absolutely take it, but unless i have something in prior written accommodations, they aren't obligated to do so... from their perspective, in a job, especially teaching, it is important that you be able to continue through even if you're feeling depressed, and it wouldn't make sense to let you through this without completing the same requirements as everyone else because you were depressed...

i'm sorry that this has to be the first thing i tell you when you came on to the site, but you did say to be honest, and lying wouldn't help anyone in the long run...

[LegoGirl]

I certainly sounds like life has really been tough on you for a while.

To be honest with the college I don't know. I guess they have to know someone can hold down the job to a reasonable degree even taking into account health issues and its like where do you draw that line, the are some things I am just not able to do, like be a singing teacher, because I can't sing, but others that with reasonable adjustments I could do.

I do get the exasperation of all the well meaning speeches and the when it comes to the crunch the situation feeling entirely different.

I think also at the end of the day focusing on whether they are being unfair or not isn't going to help you emotionally after a while, it's just going to eat you up, trying to think out how to proceed is the next step.

Good luck.