People do change and it takes guts to admit when you are wrong. Doesn't change what she did though. I would just take it slow don't trust her with much that way if she does hurt you again it wont be as bad.
I'm really sorry you had to go through that and I really hope it gets better for you.
Exactly and yeah I am not close to her at all. I never really was. Just casual friends. I honestly really can’t fully trust her yet. I am still cautious and will be for awhile. She did once invite me to an outing with her and her coworkers and she treated me well and acted like I was a part of the group. In fact, she was the only person to talk to me. Her coworkers didn’t even bother to introduce themselves when I introduced myself and tried talking which I found a bit inconsiderate of them so I was glad she was friendly.
She would not have paid any attention and ignored me if that happened four years ago. Although it is possible she doesn’t feel close to her coworkers. Therefore, I think the real test will be next time I am with her in a group of actual friends since hanging out with friends is a bit different than hanging out with coworkers.
When people are annoyed by someone's presence but wonder where they're at when absent
Ever notice how someone or even a group of people may be annoyed at someone else for just being there for whatever reason, but then when the person they are annoyed at is not there, they wonder, and even ask where the person is. I've always wondered when people do that, is it just out of curiosity over where the person could be or do they actually like having the person around, they just get annoyed over something they do? I know a few people are like that towards me. They will act like they are annoyed by my presence but if I am not there due to me doing something else or just because I am giving them a break, they will ask where I was at the next time I do see them.
Doesn't happen often, but it happens. Anyone else have this happen to them, or even been the one to be annoyed that someone is around but then wonder where they are at when they are actually absent? I've always wondered why people want to know where someone is at if they truely are annoyed by someone and don't care for them. And if they do like someone, they should tell them why they're annoyed rather than wish the would leave and then wonder where they are at.
I've always wondered what the purpose of people, who you once thought were true friends, falsely accusing you of something such as backstabbing or spreading gossip is. Like, are they just doing that in order to find a reason to end a friendship in a cowardly way or do they feel secretly guilty about doing something and somehow felt like rumors were being spread. I've had that happen to me. One example is when I was friends with someone a few years ago and out of the blue, the person accused me of backstabbing.
She assumed I was telling people that she was a horrible person and that everyone should stay clear of her and not be friends with her. I never did that but she just made that accusation out if the blue. She started acting just slightly indifferent a few days prior to that. So it makes me wonder if she just didn't want to be friends anymore and just wanted to find a way to end it in a cowardly way or if she had done something and felt guilty about it, therefore, assumed I was talking bad about her behind her back. She would ignore me in purpose when she was around other people. She would only talk to me one on one.
I tried to prove that wasn't the case, that I never would do that. But she stopped talking to me right after that. She knew me for over a year and knew me way better than the new people she had just started hanging out with when it happened. So if someone had told her something, which is possible, she should have known I would never do that. So I've always wondered when people do that stuff, is it a guilty conscious or just cowardness and flakiness? I've seen the same thing happen to other people too, where they get accused of something they never did out of the blue. Anyone have this experience and have any ideas why it happens? Just curious. At the end of that same year, she did the exact same thing to her roommate that she loved having for over a year.
The new people, who were brand new freshmen, only knew her for a week, and vise versa. It was the very first week of school just after freshmen orientation had ended. She didn't mention names but I eventually found out it was from one of the freshmen who had just met her a few days prior. That freshmen was only around for one semester. So there is no way she could have felt much closer to them than someone she had known for over a year. That's why I wonder if she felt guilty and really didn't like me as a friend and didn't know how to deal with it. Not saying what she did was acceptable, but it just makes me wonder if guilt is the reason some people believe false rumors about people they know very well, especially when coming from someone they just met.
Why people ask questions when it doesn't affect them
I've always wondered why people sometimes ask questions when it doesn't affect them. Like back in college, I always hung out at a certain location for socializing and also to do homework. I was there way more than my dorm room. And people would ask why I always sit there. I told them I just like it. But they would come off as annoyed about it. It doesn't affect their lives so I don't get what the big deal was.
Also, more recently, since I don't drive, every so often I will have no choice but to go to work early. Depends on who drives me and what time is combiner for them. Usually when I am there early, I am in a unused room waiting for my time to start. Everyone knows this, even my supervisor. But sometimes a a couple coworkers will act annoyed and ask why I do that. They recommended I start using Uber.
I told them it is too expensive since I've used it and only use it for emergency situations. I would be spending over 10 dollars to travel 7 minutes from my house. I really don't mind going in early. I stay out of everyone's way and the room I am in is never used in the morning. So I don't get why they ask me that stuff when it doesn't affect them. They start work earlier, but then get out earlier. I start later and get out later.
So technically, if I am inconveniencing anyone, it is myself since I have to sit and wait for my time to start, and then complete my hours for then day. It is not an every day thing. At most, once a week. And I am very quiet. So I don't get why a couple people act like it is a big deal that I walk in early. I figured if my supervisor is okay with it, and no one who is higher up said anything about it, then it is okay. It may seem weird but at the same time, I don't get why people have to act annoyed at some things I do when it has no affect on them and has nothing to do with how their day goes. Anyone else have this problem? Anyone understand why some people are nosy? Any suggestions on how to deal with it. Just find it annoying at times.
A while ago, I used to hang out with someone I used to be friends with, but eventually she no longer seemed interested. This is a different person, not the same casual friend I mentioned a few posts back that I mentioned giving a second chance to. This is a totally different person I decided to give up on. She would completely flake out on plans and just ignore my texts all together and if she said she was free on a certain day and I asked if she wanted to hang out, she was suddenly no longer free. Well I don't take that crap from anyone so I obviously stopped hanging out with someone who no longer shows an interest in being friends.
Well just a few days ago, that person messaged me on facebook complaining that she is sick of someone flaking out on her when she makes plans with them, not responding to texts, and just not being very reliable in general, exactly the same thing she does. I came very close to letting her know that she does the exact same thing, but I decided not to. Didn't think it would be worth it. Has anyone ever had someone do something to you, and then later on they complain that someone else is doing that exact same thing to them? It can be frustrating and hypocritical.
I sometimes wonder if it is a sense of entitlement or a sense of snobbishness since they come off like they can treat people that way but then get offended if they get treated the same way. How did you deal with that? Should I have said something or was it best that I just ignored it? I did ignore her since I felt like that was the more right thing to do, but sometimes I wonder if I should have said something. To me, it feels like she may have become stuck up in a way. She never really did have any friends in college since she didn't see the point in friendships. She didn't have problems, just simply didn't care about having friends.
Nothing wrong with that. No one should be forced to have friends. But I have noticed recently that she has definitely changed. Not sure if it is something from her family since she is super close to them or if something else happened. She would say she is busy but then post on facebook that she is drinking with her family. Nothing wrong with it, it just shows that she prefers to be with her family, but for some reason, can't be honest about it. What do you think is the reason some people complain about the things that happen to them, if they do the same things to others? I feel like it could be entitlement or just them being stuck up but not sure. I haven't spoken to her since, it just simply made me think about this topic that's all. As I said before, I am no longer friends with this person and this isn't the same person I posted about before, it was just something that made me think of this kind of topic and behavior in others.
Are there any reasons that would cause someone to not care about anyone or anything? I know depression can cause it since I've known people in the past who were depressed and basically acted like they didn't care about anyone or anything. In fact, a casual friend who I've mentioned in previous post may have had and may still have depression since she can have the general attitude of not giving a crap about anyone or anything. She prefers to stay at home and not socialize with anyone. And if she does socialize, a lot of times she will come off as uninterested and appear to not want to socialize. Right now she appears a bit better but she is still on and off.
Other than depression, are there any other factors that could contribute to someone not caring or appearing very apathetic towards everything? I know there are times where I feel this way in certain situations since I may be afraid to get hurt again and me not caring can be a way to protect myself from massive disappointments or lessen the feelings of being hurt. So I guess not caring could also be a defense mechanism. Anyone go through periods of not caring about anything or anyone? What was your reasons for not caring or appearing apathetic? Just wondered. The people I've known in the past, including my one friend, may have also been doing it as a defense mechanism as well.
If you want answers then put all of what you want in one thread - you're bumping down other threads and when no one is replying so you then make a new one.
What are you trying to achieve from your threads?
Last edited by Aardbei : 17-11-2017 at 10:39 PM.
Reason: Edited tone
Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar
Call me R -
The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln
It is very rare, but I've had cases where someone will ask if I need help with something and I'll politely decline since I really don't need help but would let them know if I did, and they get mad. I know in one case, I was getting rid of the last bit of popcorn left after a event a few years back since no one wanted any of it. It was in a small light container, anyone could easily pick it up and empty the contents of it out without help unless it was super heavy. Well in my case, it was super light, barely anything in it, and a couple of other people asked if I needed help. I politely declined their help and thanked them and someone else decided to get very mad at me, saying that I rejected other people's help and that it was very rude of me.
Of course, the two people who were about to leave helped out of obligation by that point since they felt awkward and I just stood there and watched and was also shocked since I didn't understand why someone would get mad at me just because I don't need someone else's assistance. She mentioned later that I need to start accepting help from others and that girls can do what guys do. Even though they were both females, it had nothing to do with their gender that I rejected their help from. I hang out with mostly females and has asked plenty of them for help with things in the past. So in that one scenario, I just simply didn't need help but I did appreciate them asking.
I came really close to saying something back to the person who got mad at me but decided it wouldn't be worth the risk, although I probably should have said something so she wouldn't get the wrong idea. There has been plenty of other cases. If I was working on something and someone kept on bugging me to let them help me, it would get annoying since I didn't need there help and got confused as why they couldn't take no as an answer. If I don't need someone's help, then I don't need it. I don't think I'm better than others or anything, I just simply don't need any assistance at times. It is nothing personal and wish some people wouldn't take it personally.
In cases like this, it is the reason I don't ask if other people need help since I don't want to annoy them. If they ask for help or if it is super obvious that someone is in need of assistance, then I will offer to help them. At times they will say yes but at times they say no and I let it be. I find it rude to constantly bug someone and try to force them to let you help them if they don't need it. Same way with needing help myself. I feel like people who get offended and try to let me accept their assistance when it is obvious I don't need it is too much. It makes me not want to ask for their help if I ever needed it in the future. If I ask for help or it is super obvious that i need help then I would be glad to have someone assist me, but otherwise when I am doing fine on my own, I just wish people would accept that I don't need their assistance and that they should not be offended.
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