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Old 26-10-2018, 03:04 PM   #1
Eska
 
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Diagnosis and doctors and stuff

Since 2014 I've had a bipolar II diagnosis (before that it was depressive episodes, I guess no one medical picked up on the hypomania type stuff) but a week or two ago I moved and when I left my old surgery they gave me a print off summary of my medical history and it listed a diagnosis of EUPD dating from March (around the time of my last admission).

I suspect it was because in the run up to the admission I had an appointment where they said I might be considered for DBT which I'd been hoping for but that they didn't think I would qualify and meet the criteria. And after that I... I kind of went off the rails, and wanted to hurt myself and ended up in hospital as a precaution because for the first time I actually went and asked for help rather than just going ahead with it. So minimal harm was done, I had a week in hospital, but I guess it was seen as a bit of an EUPD-ish response? Which I can kind of see.

I don't know whether this means I have both diagnoses, or whether the EUPD supercedes the bipolar one, or what. I don't know what to think. And I know that diagnoses are only important up to a point as long as you're staying stable and getting the right treatments, but in this case I'm... worried, I guess? Worried that the EUPD diagnosis will mean they take me off my meds and things get worse. Worried that it doesn't make sense, because a lot of the time I'm stable and isn't that technically not the case with EUPD? But then self harm is a thing, but only once or twice a year.

I just... I really don't know. I don't know whether I'm going to be referred to the mental health team here (the gp I saw made some noises about it) and I don't know whether I want to be. It would mean time off work, which I don't want, but it would mean being on their radar for when things get worse, which could be helpful. It might mean getting an assessment and/or some kind of ongoing support, or it might mean being just discharged all over again on the basis that I cope fine 90% of the time and don't justify their input.

I don't know. My head is spinning with it. I have an appointment with a gp at the new practice (one who has a particular interest in mental health) on the 12th, so I have a bit of time. I'm just trying to get my head in order and failing miserably.

Sorry this is super long and I don't even really know what I'm asking.





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Old 28-10-2018, 04:07 PM   #2
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I'm wondering if it might be worth raising some of these concerns with the specialist GP when you see them? They might be able to clarify with you whether both diagnoses still stand or whether one or the other is now relevant. It's okay to ask these questions, and also maybe they will have chance to go through the diagnostic criteria for them with you and you can talk about your history and maybe both draw a conclusion on which diagnosis fits best? Or maybe they can refer you to someone who can.

You're right that a label only goes so far, but if it feels relevant to you to know one way or another, then that's important, especially if you're concerned it may affect treatment/medication one way or the other. It might be worth having the conversation about medication with the GP too, and maybe they could offer some reassurance?

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Old 28-10-2018, 06:59 PM   #3
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Maybe also a really dumb suggestion, but what if you just printed what you wrote here out and took it in with you to show them? I actually think you've explained your worries, needs, and overall thoughts pretty well.



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Old 29-10-2018, 09:41 AM   #4
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Thank you both for being so kind and calm and reassuring and talking sensibly to me.

Soft Kitty, I will do my best to raise the questions with the gp when I see them. Thank you for reminding me that I'm allowed to be concerned about this stuff.

Auror, I might just do that. It's a good idea. I'm glad it comes across relatively coherently, it's good to know.





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Old 16-11-2018, 05:43 PM   #5
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Update: I saw the doctor and he was good, he definitely knew his mental health stuff. I was the last patient of the day and I was in there for like 20 or 25 minutes while he explained stuff and listened.

He's referring me to the CMHT, primarily for a conversation about my diagnosis but also to have a look at possible treatment options (which may or may not include DBT). So that seems like a good step I guess.

I'm.still feeling pretty confused about it all. The mood diary I've been keeping shows me as varying by at most a couple of points within a day and from day to day, which seems very un-eupd from what I've read. I don't have angry or impulsive outbursts. I don't dissociate, don't have chronic feelings of emptiness, and don't think I lack a stable sense of self although I know that this post probably makes it sound otherwise. I've had suicidal thoughts but never attempted suicide. So yeah.

It does fit in that I self harm, but I generally go six or nine months or longer between incidents. I sometimes get unstable and it affects my interpersonal relationships and I will seek out attention/support/comfort and maybe get upset or upset other people but again that generally happens when I'm feeling generally bad. It's not a consistent thing. Right now I feel like it's not fair on people who do suffer deeply with EUPD that I have it as a diagnosis, like it invalidates their pain. None of it makes sense.





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Old 25-11-2018, 06:15 AM   #6
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Does it help to keep in mind that treatment treats your symptoms, not your diagnosis?

EUPD has many, many different forms. You don't need to tick all the boxes to fit the criteria. I got the diagnosis when I wasn't self harming or showing any type of impulsive behavior, nor had I ever attempted suicide.

The way I see it all that doctors can do is to find the label that best fits your symptoms. It's just a way to avoid having nine disorders diagnosed and a short cut to find the most efficient and promising treatment for you. When they say you have EUPD it really just means "the treatment that is usually used for people diagnosed with this is considered the most beneficial".



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