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Old 20-07-2011, 10:56 AM   #1
Snowball
 
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Life after university...

This is my first ever serious thread so I apologise in advance for any faux pas.

I moved out of my student house in Bath and back to my parents house nearly a month ago and I'm finding the entire process incredibly difficult. I suppose I could describe my current state of mind as being deeply sad and longing for something more.

I miss the level of independence at university as well as having a lot to keep my mind busy and active (e.g uni work and volunteering) and the life that I had. Almost instantly every one started moving back to their respective home towns and my world just kind of fell apart. I miss the people, the place, the life I had.

I feel as if my life is losing purpose by the day. I don't feel a part of anything anymore... I'm slowly becoming more detatched from myself. I also cannot see myself getting a job any time in the near future. I was so confident before, but I've had so many rejection letters for graduation jobs it makes me wish I never even bothered studying to begin with.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, but I was wondering if any members have any advice of moving back from Uni (or even just a different city) and your life changing dramatically. How did you cope with it all?

Thanks for reading.

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Old 20-07-2011, 11:52 AM   #2
Moonlight Princess
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I'm not in your exact situation but I've had a lot of time off this year from uni due to an operation and I'm going stir crazy in my house so I do understand a little bit about how you feel! A couple of my friends who graduated this year have expressed the same feelings so you're not alone. I think it's a case of trying to continue with the aspects of university life that you really loved. Volunteering was a part of that so why not apply for some volunteering? It would help you meet people and also be rewarding.

I know it's easier said than done but try not to be too discouraged by the job situation because it's the same for almost everyone I know so it's nothing personal against you. If you would like to meet people why not set up a group or club around things you really enjoy. There's not really anything to do in my town so I'm starting up a book group.

Is there a central place that you and your friends from uni can meet at regularly? Maybe an annual holiday can be a way you can keep in touch? It may take a bit of creativity but there are ways which you can incorporate your uni exerience into your home life.
Kiran
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Old 20-07-2011, 12:19 PM   #3
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I know a lot of people who are struggling with the transition from Uni to living back at home. Many are either struggling to find jobs, or are in jobs they don't enjoy and it is definately a difficult situation.

Finding something to fill your days is hugely important. If you can't volunteer at your old place can't you find something similar near where you are now.



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Old 20-07-2011, 01:20 PM   #4
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What sort of jobs are you looking for? The golden ticket of a 'graduate job' does not exist for the vast majority of graduates, the market for the schemes is saturated. Look into other routes such as direct entry, or entry-level jobs, look at assistant positions, look at interning/volunteering in your chosen job first. There are other options, although to start with it might be an idea to try and get any job.

Look into groups/clubs as a way to meet people and get out there. It will give you something to do.

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Old 20-07-2011, 05:02 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiran View Post
xx
Thanks Kiran, yeah I am going to look into doing some voluntary work here. It'll be a little more difficult but I do need to do something different to meet new people/do something that makes me feel productive.

It's very difficult to meet with my uni friends because they're in the same situation as me and can't afford to travel far. Especially since a lot of them live in small towns outside of Bath. It's really frustrating.


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Well, I'm graduating with a 2.i in Business and Management. I was only 2% off a first but I'm still very proud of my result. I've been applying for entry level grad jobs and seem to have no luck. I've been looking at most industries for management level analyst/human resources positions. My lack of experience is what's keeping me back... but if someone doesn't give me a chance I won't get any. But I agree with you when you say that I should probably just get any job.

My parents pretty much forced me to sign onto Job Seakers allowance and I have to say it's the most demeaning thing I've done. I don't mind the concept of welfare, but the fact that those who work there seem to speak to me with some sort of disgust. As if I am a second class citizen, unworthy of their time. I'm going to try and get whatever job I can find just to get off that soon. It's killing me.

To everyone:

What's most disconcerting is that I don't really feel at home with my family, I feel as if I never belonged and I'm increasingly becoming annoyed with my friends here in my hometown (well some of them anyway!)


Last edited by Snowball : 24-07-2011 at 01:40 PM.
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Old 20-07-2011, 05:14 PM   #6
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To combat the lack of experience look at volunteering or interning. Charities (particularly smaller local ones) are often looking for people with knowledge/experience of admin or IT skills. I'd look into that whilst trying to find a paying job.

If you can find a paying job you may be able to move out of home. Have you looked for ways to make new friends in your local area?

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Old 20-07-2011, 05:40 PM   #7
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Well, I am generally looking to intern. I'm incredibly surprised about how competitive it is too. All I want is like 2 weeks at least! I've been to several work shops to improve my CV and I think it's pretty decent.

On the making new friends front... I would like to but I wouldn't know where to start. I don't think I'd have trouble once I find somewhere to do so. I'm usually pretty confident. Eh, maybe I just need to slow down a little, I don't know. Maybe all I need is just time?

I'm just a little worried of slipping further into depression. I don't want to push away my friends here but I feel unwilling to go out most of the time. I'm making a pretty big effort to go out tonight... and that's only because I want to get away from my parents >.<

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Old 20-07-2011, 06:04 PM   #8
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Yeah, I know it can be hard to push yourself to go out and do things. But it is so important not to isolate yourself, even though that may be what you want to do. Personally, I'd look into sports clubs or other groups which can be a fun way to meet new people.

As for the difficulty of securing an internship - tell me about it! I am currently trying to find one but it is in a rather niche area. You just need to keep persevering and make sure your cover letter is the best it can be.

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Old 21-07-2011, 12:48 AM   #9
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Hey, I just wanted to say I'm in the same situation as you (graduated a few weeks ago, back home and although in a job, not what I want to do at all) and the advice thats been given seems excellent :)
but I just wanted to say I know what your going through and sending you *hugs*. I'm sure things will get better with time... well that is what I'm hoping anyway!

Sorry this isn't really advice, I just wanted to say you aren't alone.

Feel free to PM if you need anything/want a chat :)



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Old 21-07-2011, 12:16 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by red_princess View Post
Hey, I just wanted to say I'm in the same situation as you (graduated a few weeks ago, back home and although in a job, not what I want to do at all) and the advice thats been given seems excellent :)
but I just wanted to say I know what your going through and sending you *hugs*. I'm sure things will get better with time... well that is what I'm hoping anyway!

Sorry this isn't really advice, I just wanted to say you aren't alone.

Feel free to PM if you need anything/want a chat :)
Thanks for your kind words, Red Princess. I really do hope things improve with time, I don't want to feel like I'm constantly stuck in a rut. I could never turn down free hugs if they were ever offered :D

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Old 22-07-2011, 09:39 AM   #11
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Hi,
I graduated last year and can understand your predicament.

I returned home for the summer although ended up staying until Christmas :/ and really struggled to adjust. One thing that helped me was to get a waitressing job which got me out of the house several times a week, interacting with other people and did wonders for my self esteem. I did manage to get a 3 month placement a company (part of the reason I stayed at home until Christmas). Since then I have secured a PhD for October and am back waiting on/bar tending and thoroughly enjoying it and it gives me time during the day now to prepare for my post-grad study and earlier on to job search.

I hate the catch-22 situation that a lot of new graduates are in, I found I was two young for the jobs I did have experience in (it was unusual for a new graduate to have had the experience I gain on year in industry and for the salary they were offering they wanted someone older with more experience). And didn't have experience in the entry level jobs. Keep plugging away and don't get too disheartened it took a lot of my friends 6-12 months to find a job they wanted. It is a crappy climate for all job seekers and it is no reflection on your ability. I found it really important to keep surrounding myself with people and environment that kept my esteem and self worth high because to let it drop makes the whole job search a hell of a lot harder.

Also, it is quite easy to become disheartened with job searches when hammering it every day. I found that doing 30-60 minutes on an average day and then every couple of days really setting down for a more thorough search more gentle on my mind.

Wish you the best of luck (and to any other reading this in the same situation)
x



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Old 22-07-2011, 10:44 PM   #12
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Life after graduation is never the easiest, i never moved back home and have spent very little time at my parents place since graduating but a lot changes the day that uni finishes. People move away and the routine you had has hugely overnight. The feelings you have are completely normal and will ease.

Do you think getting yourself into some form of routine may help you?. May it be going for a walk certain days, seeing people, sometimes the smallest of things can help your mind readjust. Also i found having " free time" something very alien to deal with which adds to the difficult transition between education and work.

Dont put too much pressure on yourself to get the best job you can get.Even something part time in a similar field or uses some of the skills that are useful for the career you want in the future will help you keep your brain going.You will get to your career goal, sometimes different routes need to be taken until you end up in the "dream job", small steps rather than big steps can make things a little easier.

I am here if you need to chat, allow yourself to talk to people as so many people who are out of education can relate to how you are feeling

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