Can you ever be fully clean from Self Injury, or is it the same as being a recovering alcoholic, where you may still slip after YEARS of not self-harming?
Minus the endorphins the body produces, I'm not really sure why SI is so damn easy to fall back into?
I think it can depend on the person, I have quite an addictive personality and whilst I have been free of self harm for 7 years now and there are times when I don't think about it at all and then there are other times when it is as hard to stay free as it was in those early days. I feel now that I won't self harm again, I know I have it in me to survive the hardest days but it won't necessarily be easy.
Do you want to talk about what is going on with you at the moment?
I think it can depend on the person, I have quite an addictive personality and whilst I have been free of self harm for 7 years now and there are times when I don't think about it at all and then there are other times when it is as hard to stay free as it was in those early days. I feel now that I won't self harm again, I know I have it in me to survive the hardest days but it won't necessarily be easy.
Do you want to talk about what is going on with you at the moment?
I really wish that I knew what exactly was going on, but the truth is that I have absolutely no clue for sure, only assumptions and what it seems from where I am standing.
Do you by any chance have any experience with bipolar psychosis?
I am bipolar, although I have never formally been told I've experienced psychosis with it there have been times where I've had symptoms approaching psychosis. So I guess maybe is the answer.
Are you struggling with your mood and psychosis at the moment? That can be a tricky combination. Do you have any support at the moment?
I am bipolar, although I have never formally been told I've experienced psychosis with it there have been times where I've had symptoms approaching psychosis. So I guess maybe is the answer.
Are you struggling with your mood and psychosis at the moment? That can be a tricky combination. Do you have any support at the moment?
No, it was my ex's? my currents? I've no clue what she is to me anymore...
3 years down the drain, with a few break ups here, and there all because she got something stuck in her head from a news article.
She saw the news article, and admitted to her family and such that she was going through psychosis but now she's not talking to me... so I don't know what the heck is going on... I mean that's the major problem at the moment, but than again my brain is going "SH would be the lesser of the two evils, if you don't drink" and I've been sober 6 weeks.
I quit a bunch of things including smoking from 13 to 25. You could shower me in cigarettes and adverts, put people smoking all around me etc and I just don't care. Its like I never did it.
One key is to stop over-struggling with symptoms. Hating a habit/addition and yourself will make the problems worse. Trying to willfully force yourself into quitting something makes it worse. People try to quit stuff without really really wanting to quit - they want to be free of the consequences but kinda like other things. Its like a gambler who is really sorry for losing rent all the time but isn't really sorry for gambling.
Concerning root drives - if people didn't have too many emotions building they would had no need "cope, compensate, vent, release" etc. Being upset - about anything - will create a pain and that creates a need for something to provide comfort, relief etc. If a smoker gets upset they want a smoke. If an SIer gets upset they want to SI. If people see the connection they can learn to see their own overreactions do them in.
Of course some stresses naturally cause pain etc but the effects will soon diminish on their own if people just watch and dont make things worse. A slapped hand will sting and then stop. If people add extra upset to the slap they will be upset all day long after pain went away. So feel the upsets and pains etc but watch out for taking stuff way too personal and getting too upset and morbid.
Doing that makes a lot of habits go away on their own. I stopped hating smoking and the problem, and just watched myself doing it, and then one day I went for a smoke and something stopped me. It just wasn't interesting anymore. I had a new positive energy flow that was filling a void that made smoking seem as necessary as breathing air.
People who need constant support to be free of things have gotten rid of the habit but not the root. If I stop drinking but keep being too upset then I'm still not really free. I can get another habit instead. People quit smoke and then eat too much.
Nobody is a born smoker, drinker, SIer etc. Sure some emotional habits in families, or genetic traits might render some people more susceptible but all people can recover themselves inside and back away from the silent agonies that call out for balms.
A relationship break down can make things difficult especially when you don't know what is going on and if you also think that your girlfriend is ill too.
Have you had much contact with your girlfriend? Would it be possible to see if you could meet her some where neutral to discuss what is going on?
In the meantime, being sober for 6 weeks is a huge achievement and I'm glad you have reached out here if you are struggling with SH urges. Do you have anyone to speak to about the situation with your girlfriend?
I quit a bunch of things including smoking from 13 to 25. You could shower me in cigarettes and adverts, put people smoking all around me etc and I just don't care. Its like I never did it.
One key is to stop over-struggling with symptoms. Hating a habit/addition and yourself will make the problems worse. Trying to willfully force yourself into quitting something makes it worse. People try to quit stuff without really really wanting to quit - they want to be free of the consequences but kinda like other things. Its like a gambler who is really sorry for losing rent all the time but isn't really sorry for gambling.
Concerning root drives - if people didn't have too many emotions building they would had no need "cope, compensate, vent, release" etc. Being upset - about anything - will create a pain and that creates a need for something to provide comfort, relief etc. If a smoker gets upset they want a smoke. If an SIer gets upset they want to SI. If people see the connection they can learn to see their own overreactions do them in.
Of course some stresses naturally cause pain etc but the effects will soon diminish on their own if people just watch and dont make things worse. A slapped hand will sting and then stop. If people add extra upset to the slap they will be upset all day long after pain went away. So feel the upsets and pains etc but watch out for taking stuff way too personal and getting too upset and morbid.
Doing that makes a lot of habits go away on their own. I stopped hating smoking and the problem, and just watched myself doing it, and then one day I went for a smoke and something stopped me. It just wasn't interesting anymore. I had a new positive energy flow that was filling a void that made smoking seem as necessary as breathing air.
People who need constant support to be free of things have gotten rid of the habit but not the root. If I stop drinking but keep being too upset then I'm still not really free. I can get another habit instead. People quit smoke and then eat too much.
Nobody is a born smoker, drinker, SIer etc. Sure some emotional habits in families, or genetic traits might render some people more susceptible but all people can recover themselves inside and back away from the silent agonies that call out for balms.
I totally see the logic in what you are saying, I'm trying to actually go through these emotions, without making things worse but right now I am "numb" to most emotions, and yet still clearly depressed not being able to find any enjoyment out of things that I used to, I cry three or four tears at a time, and that's that.
A relationship break down can make things difficult especially when you don't know what is going on and if you also think that your girlfriend is ill too.
Have you had much contact with your girlfriend? Would it be possible to see if you could meet her some where neutral to discuss what is going on?
In the meantime, being sober for 6 weeks is a huge achievement and I'm glad you have reached out here if you are struggling with SH urges. Do you have anyone to speak to about the situation with your girlfriend?
Her and I live 15 hours away, so meeting in a neutral place isn't an option at all, I assume at this point of time she's an ex as her and I have not spoken since Sunday.
I was meant to be moving down there on the 11th of October, but clearly this is not going to happen.
My therapist is **** at talking, I talk to my mom a bit but she doesn't know what to do to help, nor do I.
I'm sorry you went through a breakup in such a difficult way. I understand it probably really sucks right now, but I promise it will get better after a while. It always does. Do you have any friends you could spend time with while you're going through this difficult time? Maybe, there are things that you wanted to do for a while, like going on a trip or trying a hobby that could keep you preoccupied so you aren't completely immersed in your dark and negative thoughts.
Is there any way for you to look for a different therapist? Not all of them are a good fit for every patient, and talking is kind of the main purpose of a therapist, so if yours is crap at talking, then they're a crap therapist, unfortunately (I had a one like that and it sucked).
I'm sorry you went through a breakup in such a difficult way. I understand it probably really sucks right now, but I promise it will get better after a while. It always does. Do you have any friends you could spend time with while you're going through this difficult time? Maybe, there are things that you wanted to do for a while, like going on a trip or trying a hobby that could keep you preoccupied so you aren't completely immersed in your dark and negative thoughts.
Is there any way for you to look for a different therapist? Not all of them are a good fit for every patient, and talking is kind of the main purpose of a therapist, so if yours is crap at talking, then they're a crap therapist, unfortunately (I had a one like that and it sucked).
I unfortunately don't really have any friends anymore, especially none that live close by, I do have some acquaintances that I game with, but I lost interest in gaming lately.
I actually had a bit of a "break down" and sobbed like a bitch for a few minutes while listening to music which is definitely awesome to not be so numb, and blah.
I ask myself that question all the time. I don't think it ever FULLY goes away, but I think it fades over time. I relapse every now and then even though it has been almost like nine months since the last time.
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid."
~Albert Einstein
People try to quit stuff without really really wanting to quit - they want to be free of the consequences but kinda like other things. Its like a gambler who is really sorry for losing rent all the time but isn't really sorry for gambling.
SI is addictive due to endorphin's yes, but also because of the habits formed around them.
Take for example I'm a smoker. I smoke when I'm bored, mad, sad, stressed out.
So when I hit one of those emotions I do that exact thing. I do the same with SI. I relapsed after 2 years. But it can be beat. I think it's a lot like with drinking. You are always recovering. Support (I myself don't have that. My bf won't talk about his issues so I won't talk about mine and he also doesn't really understand). Making new habits. I've used rubber bands to stop but realized it was replacing. That was all. I write. I read. I game. I have days where I can't game since I'm not interested but I find something else. I clean. I listen to music. I read from the non-profit organizations I like about SI. Therapy can help. Not always and not for everyone. Some places actually have a self harm anonymous group like AA. I found out they are in select locations. But it would be nice if they reached farther.
I think the problem with SI is that it leaves constant reminders behind. You might be clean for years and years.... but the scars are still there. Maybe that makes it easier to fall back into...?
I have just entered the forum for the exact same question. I think it has a lot to do with TRULY wanting to stop, which we don't really always want.
For the past year, honestly, I have been having through probably the best year of my life. I have the greatest supportive friends, I'm healthy, I'm over my ED and depression, I'm happy most of the time, I'm doing well financially, I like my job.
And yet I relapse (partly over a breakup but it happened before also). I don't know why. I sort of even do it from a rational sort of place...
Honestly, I think the only time I will TRULY be able to stop is when I have the strongest motivation - when I have kids.
Until then, I try to do it as little as possible, but I don't get mad at myself when I slip.
"Life is like glass... better leave it broken then cut yourself trying to fix it."
Welcome to RYL CS.
The short answer: It will never go away. After eight years and long breaks I always relapse, over and over again. It might be worse than smoking, after six month of heavy urges I've never wanted to smoke again. Cutting seems to be harder to free yourself from. At least it's for me. But I still hope to be able to handle the cravings, and live with it.
Take care
