no one knows about this

[Darkwings44]

i dont know how to put this in words but when i was raped by my family (my dads sisters dauthers) i disconnected from reality and connected atfer it happened my mom dosent know about it no one knows about it........ i hate them so munch its like everytime i see them i just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Horizon]

I am so sorry to hear what you went through. What you say about disconnecting from reality makes perfect sense - the brain tries to protect us in any way possible, and dissociating like that is a big coping mechanism.

Your hatred for your abusers is completely valid and understandable. Is there any way you can limit the amount of times you see them, or just set a boundary that you never see them? Would either of those be possible?

You mention that no one, especially your mom, knows about the abuse. Do you think it would b helpful if someone knew, and if your mom knew? It's a very painful secret to carry around with you all on your own. Or maybe a doctor, counselor, or therapist?

[Darkwings44]

Thank you very much I didn’t think that I made any sense
Thank you
No I can’t my mom wouldn’t believe me

[activebrain]

It makes perfect sense. I blocked out my abuse for years and dissociated every time it happened. I am so sorry this happened to you. it's awful when family is the one that you're supposed to be on whom you can rely and they're the ones that you can trust the least because of what they did to you. And then it's even worse when other family members won't believe you. I get it because that's the same thing that I am experiencing. It's really rough. Keep hanging in there.

[Horizon]

Would an anonymous, confidential source be of help to you? RAINN has an online hotline, as well as a phone hotline, depending on how you would like to talk to someone. I've used the online hotline twice and found it helpful and private. Maybe that could be worth looking into for support?

[Darkwings44]

thank you so munch and *hugs you*

[Darkwings44]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Horizon

Would an anonymous, confidential source be of help to you? RAINN has an online hotline, as well as a phone hotline, depending on how you would like to talk to someone. I've used the online hotline twice and found it helpful and private. Maybe that could be worth looking into for support?

i dont know... see i have no internet at home i have to use a libray computer....
and i dont want it reported

[Darkwings44]

i had to tell one of the staff at my group home about it.... it was hard but she promised that she wouldnt tell anyone about it.....

[Horizon]

How does it feel to have told someone about what happened? I'm glad you were able to confide in someone even though it's incredibly difficult.

And in regards to the RAINN hotline, I agree that using a library computer makes things difficult. I just want to point out that speaking anonymously to a trained staff member does not mean the abuse will be reported.

[Darkwings44]

it feels scary....... thank you....

i dont know.... i already get weird comments at the libary with using RYL......