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Old 20-12-2020, 07:42 PM   #1
Reminiscer
 
Join Date: Apr 2020
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Don't like it when people are too polite to the point of being condescending

I like it when people are polite. Everyone does. But at what point do you start getting a heavy feeling or a sense of annoyance when someone appears to be forcing their politeness or being overly nice? For me, if someone starts talking in a baby like voice or treating someone like they are a two year old who doesn't know anything, that's when I start getting annoyed and feel like their politeness is forced. I start to think they are not really being polite even though others may not see it that way. In other words, other people may see someone as being very polite, but I will get the sense, due to their tone of voice and behavior, that they aren't being as polite as they are trying to portray. The worst part is when they are talking in a baby voice like you're some child who doesn't know any better.

I've had that happen where I get the sense that someone who is treating me or even someone else like they are stupid or treating them like some child is not actually being polite. Especially if someone is telling me how to do something I already know how to do. I've had coworkers tell me how to create boxes or other aspects of my job even though I know how to do my job I've been doing for over four years, treating me like I'm stupid and randomly assume I don't know how to do something or just can't do it. And then goes to tell everyone else that they had to teach me even though I already know how. I also had a friend's mother lecture me on how to use public transportation, even though she never used it herself and she also knows I've been using public transportation for over ten years. I didn't say anything, but she was wrong in many aspects of her lecture as well, obviously because she never used public transit. There are many other examples like this, and doesn't happen to just me, but I've seen it happen to others as well.

Another thing that annoys me, and I think this is more common, is when someone is so overly polite that they wind up doing things for others they don't actually want to do, resulting in resentment over time. I get this, I used to be this way myself but I stopped. And there are people I know that will offer to do things for others when they really don't want to and then they get mad about it later on. If they didn't want to do it, they shouldn't have offered or should have said no. It is better to say no than to go along with something and resent the person later on. Don't understand that because they offered a favor so they shouldn't be getting mad at the person. There has been times where I've told some people, if you didn't want to do it, you shouldn't have offered. I'm less likely to ask these kinds of people for help or and more likely to decline any offer of help from them.

It comes off as a mind game, as if to say, "Hey, I'm going to offer you a favor or help you out, but you better say no or I will get mad." I've seen many people offer a favor, someone says yes, and they lose their minds. In that case, I think it is on them. I get it, I used to be that way to an extent. I had trouble saying no. And it was completely on me. And I believe it's the same way with others even though they may pin the blame on someone else. Anyone have trouble saying no as well or know someone who is like this? Just wondered what you guys thought. In most cases, I obviously like it when people are polite, but it only goes so far. If it comes off as condescending or they are getting mad after offering a favor then I get the feeling their politeness is more out of obligation rather than them genuinely being nice.

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