How to support boyfriend who's depressed because of me?

[earthbound_misfit]

Basically my lovely man spends a LOT, the majority in fact, of time with me due in part to my severe depression so he doesn't want to leave me as suicide/SI risk. Also even if I promise to not hurt myself he doesn't like to leave me alone feeling rubbish.
He also has signs of PTSD (was in the forces) from last year, which come and go but he is waiting to do a supportive course thingy run by veterans.

Anyway he gets very annoyed with me sometimes but usually apologises, I don't know what to do to make it better for him, I know and he has told me he gets down because I am.

When he tried to get the crisis team to help me, and explained how it was getting him down/how much help he gave me, they told him to leave me!
(haha he actually replied by asking them what relationship training/qualifications they had, when they said 'none' he pointed out they weren't then qualified to advise on relationship matters!)

Anyway I'm scared if they do take in how much he's struggling, they'll blame me and I already feel rubbish for making him feel bad. Either way, they won't be much more helpful than now as I'm clearly on some sort of crisis team/ CMHT blacklist (although finally getting referred for therapy - just no other support/CPN's etc).

I feel kinda trapped cos obviously this makes me feel he'd be better without me, but I also know I can't manage without him/he wouldn't leave anyway so that it makes me more suicidal... like it'd be better if I wasn't here.
But he also says he couldn't carry on if I did that, so I'm trying to get better against all the odds, but then it's upsetting him....

Any advice is very welcome, thank you xx

[lilmissjay]

In my last relationship my ex would get the same way about my depression. Honestly, I think everyone (whether it's a boyfriend, family members, friends) will have a hard time when someone they love and care about is depressed and has been hurting themselves. I also know that it can be scary when you think he will leave you, but from what you've said about him it sounds like he is a great guy and he is wanting to be by your side through the good and the bad.

As for getting professional support, do you know when you'll be able to get in to see a therapist? You mentioned that your boyfriend is going to do a support thing with the veterans, but is he willing to get any other type of help?

[perola]

Maybe you can go to your therapist's appointment with him and ask your therapist to make a session with you both...

He seems like such a nice person :)

[earthbound_misfit]

Im getting referred for therapy, which in the UK means months away. The therapist has quite a narrow remit I think so don't know if they'd see us both. He is refusing any other help than this course thingy, and tbh that'll be sooner than anything the dr would do anyway.