things have just got a lot worse and im at my witts end now im a right mess, ive had 2 more messages and im really scared. ive saved them and will show them to the police tomorrow, im praying this isnt the start of something bad.
ive spoken to my carer about how bad things have got and ive agreed to go see the doctor again hopefully tomorrow if i can get an appointment. i need them to sort some meds out to stop these voices i really do, cause i cant cope with them no more.
ive been trying to read quite a lot although its hard to concentrate i find it does help a little which is good
Jo.
Take the messages to the police. They will do what they need to to protect you.
Did you manage to get a doctors appointment?
Sorry...my brain's a bit of a mess right now but I'm here <3
x Katie x
yesterday was a horrible day having the police back involved just brought the past back like a brick in the face. theyve now seen and logged the messages, they are going to try and trace the number but they said if its unregistered the chances are they wont be able too. theyve told me to keep any more messages and to call them straight away, we dont even know who is sending them atm.
i couldnt get a dr appointment for yesterday so ive got one for this afternoon, im really scared about it but i no i have to tell her everything so she can help me. i feel like this is my last chance as ive got no energy left to fight everything anymore. right now all i want to do is curl up and die.
I'm glad you told the police and that they're trying to help. Try to keep calm and not think too much about what's happened before; it does not mean the same thing is going to happen again.
It's good you've got the appointment this afternoon - please try to be honest and explain everything to her. Could you maybe print out this thread and show it to her; it comes across very clearly in these posts how desperate you're feeling.
It's not your last chance Jo. I know it feels like it and you're getting so exhausted from fighting but when you say to yourself it's the last chance it does become so...simply try saying to yourself that it's a chance for help and if for any reason it doesn't work out you can take a break and try again later.
i went to the doctors it was so hard to tell her how bad things are but i did manage it with help from these threads which i took with me. she is changing my medication, i have to wean off of this one over the next week then will start my new one. im really hoping that this one will work, she seems to think it will.
im really struggling but im glad ive got a nw med to start next week, its given me a bit of hope. the flashbacks and nightmares have got so much worse since getting these messages theyre really getting to me just now, im not coping to well with them atm. i feel so exhausted i just want to be able to sleep but i no i wont be able too.
*curls up tight*
really hope this med works for you, so glad you told her everything. have you told your doctor your having trouble sleeping? *snuggles you gently* what has helped in the past with flashbacks?
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
thank you Anna, im really hoping this new med will work for me too, it has too just has too.
i didnt directly tell her im not sleeping well but i would of thought she got the picture from the thread printouts i did, maybe its somthing i can mention next week when i see her.
im not in a good place today i had another message come through early this morning and it has really got to me and scared me, it feel like it starting up again like it was before. im exhausted, drained and really scared my thoughts arent good and all i want to do is run away.
im sorry im being stupid, i just dont feel safe here no more.
worth mentioning, maybe she can give you something to help you sleep for now. keep the messages and dont re-read them, keep showing the police. not bein stupid hun, strugglin lots and livin in a place where you've been hurt a lot. tell your carer if feel like cant resist runnin away anymore? remember whats happened all the other times ran away; doesn't last long or help. *hugs gently* you can do it jo
Every day the world is made a chance to change but i feel the same.
And I wonder why would i wait till i die to come alive?"
All alone the way she feels
Left alone to deal with all the pain-drenched sorrow relief
Is there anywhere you can go for even just a night? To try to get away from the house for a while? It might help you because that's where everything happened.
not really not at the moment but i am going away for a week on the 25th of this month just need to get away for a bit. im hoping it will help me to feel better and by then i will be on my new meds too.
still really struggling at the moment and feel very low i keep crying and i cant seem to stop it, im meeting with the police again today as ive had more messages and its really starting to freak me out now. im so scared that i wont go out of the house now, i cant wait to go away for a bit.
im sorry im having a real bad time at the moment and im struggling to fight and keep going. i met with the police and it just feels like they are not taking these messages seriously, and theyve left me feeling more scared and alone.
im sorry im just not coping right now and i want to harm so bad, my head is going crazy the voices just wont stop ive had enough i cant take this all anymore, *curls up crying*
im sorry ive not been on in a while my internet broke down.
ive pretty much given up now everything is just spiralling out of control and i feel so alone. i keep getting threatening messages and ive given up with the police cause they just make me feel like im wasting there time. im so scared i dont leave the house anymore and my self harm has increased, i just cant carry on like this.
im now on my new medication for the voices as yet not much change but its early days ive got to increase the dose again this weekend, im hoping this one will work.
It's good to hear from you. I was getting a little concerned.
I'm sorry the police are making you feel like that; I'm sure they don't think that though. They would prefer you to keep them informed than not to and risk being hurt again. Is there a specific officer who helped you before; one who might understand better how bad it's affecting you? Don't give up on them...you need to keep them informed.
I'm glad you're on new medication. I hope upping it will help more. Are you still having regular check ups with your GP? Have you heard any more about counselling/therapy at all?
do you really think i should keep them informed? it just feels like they dont care and that im just wasting there time. maybe i will try and speak to the officer who dealt with it all before, maybe she'll understand why im so scared and be able to look into the messages more. it feels like its starting all over again and i dont feel safe i really dont, i dont want to be hurt again. im going to ring her today and see if she will come see me, i need someone to take these messages seriously.
im not doing so good at the moment really struggling with everything, im going away for a bit on monday so im hoping that will help along with the new meds. i just want to feel better now cause ive had enough now.
I certainly think you should keep them involved and informed. If you can try calling that officer. You deserve to feel safe honey. I felt the same when I went to see them about my ex but they said they'd prefer to be informed so they can stop something happening rather than not and I get hurt. It's the same for anyone.
I hope getting away for a while helps; it might be good for you to get out of your house at the moment. Try to let yourself relax a little while you're away.
