RYL Forums


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 24-06-2013, 07:56 AM   #1
tilly9
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Ten years on. There is hope.

Hi,

I have just been going through some old emails and discovered one from here, from ten years ago now.
I was on this site back when it was 'Ruin Your Life', uplifting name I know, glad it's changed!
I have no idea what I'm doing, or if I'm even writing in the right section but I just felt compelled to have a look and to just let people know just how much things can change.

I also feel like I owe a lot to this site. Back when I was very ill I was on it a lot, mainly just reading what other people had to say, but I was constantly checking everyday. Thinking back maybe not so healthy at the time I was so young and impressionable and in a really dark place. I feel it made me dwell on SH and it became a huge part of me and my life, almost taking over it. Something I was not only doing daily, but also thinking and talking about it.
Although I was using the site probably too much, it was through this, and my terrible attempts at deleting my internet history that I got 'found out' so to speak. I cursed ever coming on here. I was mortified, however it was blessing in disguise. During this time I was distraught, and I posted on here and the support and encouragement really pulled me through. I ended up finally getting the treatment I needed and on the path to recovery. I gradually stopped coming on here and following time as an in patient and many years of therapy, with a lot of help off a great deal of people I did recover. I have my odd time here and there, but ten years later I'm...OK.

I don't know why I've wrote all this. Or if anyone will be at all interested, probably not!
But I just can remember so clearly how I felt when I was on here. How never ending it all seemed, and how impossible everything felt. I never dreamed things would be ok. That I'd end up working things out eventually. I've seen some posts, people describing exactly what used be going through my head on a daily basis. Now it all seems so far away.

Don't get me wrong, I still feel awful some days, some feelings never go away completely. I'm (and I'm sure a lot of you are like me) always going to be a very sensitive person, emotional and find it difficult to deal with so many things. I still have my really bad moments. I think I'll always be hypersensitive and catastrophize. However I can cope without hurting myself anymore. Its been so gradual I haven't noticed. I've got so slowly better over a long time it's shocked even me.

So that's why I wanted to share this. I just want people to have some hope. Things can be so good, and no one knows what their future can hold.
Ten years from now you can be a completely different person, with a completely different life, looking back thinking, 'Thank God I didn't do anything stupid. I got through it.' I'm ashamed to admit that I tried to 'end it' on a few occasions during my time just before and during my time hospital. And I just can't believe it. I think so often of all the amazing things I would have missed that have happened since.

So just hold on. Try not to get consumed by it all. Anyone can build an amazing future, experience great things. It may feel like the end of the world now, but most of you will have another 60/70/80 years to live! There's a lot of time for change, and for you to be happy.

Sorry for the length of this, and if it sounds preachy or patronising, that was not my intention. I just really wish I had realised this when I was going through hard times, when I was so young. I'm sure a time machine would do us all a bit of good!

I don't know if I'll really come back on this much now, but good luck to anyone who suffering at the minute and hold on for a better future. It'll come, eventually. Things can't be this sh*t forever! One day you'll be at some amazing party/ travelling to beautiful places/ meeting someone you love and think how glad you are you got through this to be able to experience these things. As I so often do.

X

tilly9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24-06-2013, 10:45 AM   #2
Fire Fly
Feel free to be yourself
 
Fire Fly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: United Kingdom of backwards thinking?
I am currently:

Hey,
First of all what you have written is amazing and such a nice thing to read when waking up. You've done amazingly and turned your life around. I guess you are definitely right with regards to sill having tiny blips ten years on but it's only natural.

What you have written alot of people are inspiring to achieve. I wish you all the best in the future and hope things still continue go brilliantly. Xxx



Ballerina123 - My lovely superstar

Call me R -


The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time - Abraham Lincoln


Fire Fly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25-06-2013, 08:22 AM   #3
Snow White.
I am a fairy.
 
Join Date: May 2004
I am currently:

Thank you for sharing, I'm so glad things have got better for you x

Quote:
Originally Posted by tilly9
One day you'll be at some amazing party/ travelling to beautiful places/ meeting someone you love and think how glad you are you got through this to be able to experience these things. As I so often do.

This, I love this :)

Snow White. is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-07-2013, 09:11 PM   #4
DontLookUp
Saffyx
 
DontLookUp's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: UK
I am currently:

This is really amazing to hear :)
thank you so much for writing this, and im so glad to see how far you have come xxx



♥ .I'm going to fall like I don't need saving. ♥
...My smile's just the armour I built when I was alone...

There was some part of me that hurt so badly, that I wouldn't ever be able to forget it.
It faded but the memories could bring it back any second, keeping me in the moment.
It would never fully heal. I could never really be free. I could never really be fixed.
Now I just have to work out how to live whilst being broken.
I feel like I'm dying.


DontLookUp is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 18-07-2013, 09:49 PM   #5
SpyroPrice87
somewhat stable since 2010~♥AP♥
 
SpyroPrice87's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Staffordshire
I am currently:

such a wonderfully positive story.

Thank you so much for sharing. I've been doing ok for 6years myself, but with the blips in between I find I feel discouraged, like I shouldn't be feeling like that after so long anymore.... and I often question how much longer will I run from it for, well, you've just answered that for me :)
For as long as I want to... because it is my choice, it is perfectly normal to still have glips but you just gotta keep on truckin' ♥ thank you so much & well done on 10 years !

I do have one question though.... 10 years on, do you now consider yourself to be "free" from it?




2002*******2005*******2007*******2010+ ♥Andrew
♥Andrew you're my shoulders♥Adam you're my StarBoy♥Dylan you're my BoofifulSunshine♥
I hope my Shoulders never fail me, my Star twinkles in the darkness & my Sun shines all my days

x RIP My Friend, Emma B 1988-2008; gone but girl, you'll never be forgotten x


SpyroPrice87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 19-07-2013, 12:51 AM   #6
Thisisnotok
Halie
 
Thisisnotok's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
I am currently:

thanks forsharing



I may not be perfect but I am trying.


Thisisnotok is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is ON
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 02:03 PM.