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Contains sexual abuse - Was I complicit? Worrying about possibly having to reveal sexual details to others.
I have recently revealed to my GP about some sexual abuse that went on in my last relationship. This mainly involved being used for sex when I felt I did not want to do it but didn't feel strong enough to say no, and my ex being sexually violent towards me repeatedly which I didn't consent to.
The GP told me he was duty bound to inform social services about the situation as I am listed as a vulnerable adult due to MH history. The police (Or a PCSO that was called to my address recently for a separate matter to do with possible SI) are also aware. It is a safeguarding measure essentially.
I don't want to have to reveal explicit details of my activity to anyone. I sent my ex explicit photos via text of myself on his request. One non-explicit but sexually suggestive photo I sent on my own accord. I feel this makes me seem as though I was totally sexually willing however I think I have come to the understanding that just because you were/appeared to be willing to engage in some sexual acts, it does not mean that you were comfortable or consenting to everything. I still am of the mind that I was used against my will. I still am of the mind that the sexual aggression was something I did not consent to.
I am worrying now because I am visualising having photos/sexually explicit conversations revealed to strangers or people in authority. Perhaps I am catastrophizing a bit. What I would like to know is are there any people here who are aware of the process that I am going through regarding social services involvement? What will I have to do/say to them. Another reason they have been contacted is because my ex works in a position of authority amongst vulnerable people and that also comes under the umbrella of safeguarding.
If anyone has any advice or ideas as to what might happen when they start this on Monday I would really appreciate it. Thanks.
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