mum came to church with me, and my sister joined us to go shopping afterwards, which was good she could walk in safely. in town I found a large hat that I thought might be excellent to help with the fears outside. I might go back for it tomorrow, and also look for my sunglasses. and of course I have my ipod for music.
I am going to try eating properly today so my mood and energy don't dip. my mum and dad are both home today so I will spend time with them and my sister too if she wants company. i'm looking forward to watching Doctors at lunchtime too.
things have been ok today, I haven't needed to phone the Duty Worker. I am still stressed and tired but I am allowing myself some comfort food. I am worried I will regain all the weight I've lost recently, which would be a shame. I can't concentrate so I am watching films I know well so it doesn't matter if I get distracted.
I made an effort to eat proper food today so I didn't want so much sugar. tomorrow is a Friday so for religious reasons I will need to watch my eating.
I need help to keep going with life. my fears and sadness are paralysing. I suppose I need encouragement to carry on with everyday things - washing, exercising, eating. and to be told that this isn't my fault, and that I don't have to hurt myself.
I know this probably sounds rather childish but its helped me in the past and may help you to. How about having a sticker chart or other reward system for all the daily things you have to do, and once you've done one you reward yourself, whether that be through a gold star or whatever.
I think you've summed up well what you need help with from her. I would just send that in a text.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
my CPN texted me this morning, she isn't able to see me but she has got me an appointment with the psych this afternoon. not sure what he'll say, what'll happen.
nervous, I don't really know what to expect and I haven't met this psych before. I told my CPN very briefly in a text what the problems are, that they've continued since I saw her on Monday. I hope she will tell the psych so he can ask questions and I can try to say answers - easier than having to start the conversation. even better if he reads some of my notes before we meet! what kind of things might the psych suggest?
Hope your meeting goes well and really well done for reaching out for the support you need. You could always start with the problems ou text you CPN wen asked whats wrong and take it from there?
I just got back from seeing the psych. my CPN was there too. he had 3 suggestions:
leave it,
have some benzos for the anxieties,,
alter my anti-psychotic.
I didn't know what to do, so me and my CPN agreed she would check on me on Monday and we would have another think then. she said to call the MH line if I can't cope over the weekend. I don't know if things will be ok in the next few days. I need to be ok, I can't afford for things to get worse.
why is seeing the psych so stressful! I found it difficult to talk but luckily my CPN knew most things already and could tell the psych for me.
Last edited by tamo >bhūtā : 04-04-2014 at 04:59 PM.
i'm not that keen on any of the choices. I don't want to make things worse by ignoring my thoughts and feelings but at the same time I hate relying on meds. I suppose an increase in my clozapine might be ok, at least it wouldn't be a new drug. I don't know, I will have to think. was pondering maybe talking to Samaritans if I need.
I'm sorry things are so difficult at the moment love. I know being out isn't good for paranoia and stuff, but do you think spending some time at a friend's house might be helpful? I just wonder if being at home is quite difficult too, and a break might be good?
Here if you need to text me over the weekend (or anytime, of course!).
