RYL Forums


Forum Jump
Post New Thread  Reply
Old 15-07-2009, 05:10 AM   #1
dragonfly
A flower for beauty....A heart for love....
 
dragonfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: losing myself with no trace of home
I am currently:
Graphic / Triggering - !!aaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so stupidly pathetic!!!!!!!!!!

I hate myself so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So fat!!!!!

I hate this pain so much but still don't have the guts to end it all.
I know he loves me and i love him more than he will ever know, i owe him my whole life.


I know i won't feel it right now if i got a chainsaw to my arm and cut it off, i'm that fair away with it right now.


I love him so much, i love all of my friends so much, i love my family (even those we can't choose for ourselves) so so much.

I JUST HATE MYSELF SO MUCH MORE THAN ALL THAT LOVE PUT TOGETHER

I really wish i had the guts like i used to, it would be so easy. The pills are hidden from everyone except me.

No-one could even know about it, just sneak off and do it all myself.
Maybe if i wasn't so scared of really dying, i just need something more destructive than what i am now.

I need to be punished for everything i've done.

EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO ONE REALLY LIKES YOU, IT'S ALL PITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PICK YOURSELF UP, START AGAIN TOMORROW

What if i don't want a tomorrow, what if i'm happy how things are??????!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so ready to end it all, I'm just so scared of losing it all aswell.


You are my life.

For now and always, I love you so much..............








littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX

I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.

Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.


dragonfly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2009, 02:24 PM   #2
frizzly
 
frizzly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
I am currently:

oh sweetie im so sorry u feel like this *hugs* hang in there

sorry im a bit useless for replies tonight but here if u wanna tlk



"you never know how strong you are untill being strong is the only choice you have"

lozstar88 your my lopbelly night owl. CrashQueen your beautiful and amazing like the vodka that stops the jelly from tasting funny :p


frizzly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2009, 04:53 PM   #3
Popple
 
Popple's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007

Has something happened to make you feel like this?
I know things are hard now but you can come through this, you don't need to be punished. DO you know why you feel that?
Take care of yourself love
x



You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.


Popple is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2009, 08:05 PM   #4
TinkerDebs
*hugs*
 
TinkerDebs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK; South East
I am currently:

hunni!!
your not a horrible person your really not!!
whats triggered all these dfeelings to intensify so much??
i know things are hard but you've fought through so much that you shouldnt give up now
im glad you dont have the guts to end it because it means you can stay and try to learn to see that this life can be worth living

im sure that its almost impossible to hate yourself more than you love - you love so many that its almost impossible to contain that much hate when your that full of love!!

tell yourself he is your world and know that he is your world and live for that world of just you and him :)



The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]

Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!


TinkerDebs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15-07-2009, 08:57 PM   #5
Country Girl
~Rach~
 
Country Girl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
I am currently:

Honey, there is nothing wrong with you...I'm sorry things are that bad. Please don't kill yourself though. We are all here for you, talk to us. You're not evil, or stupid or pathetic.... You are beatiful and wonderful!





Country Girl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-07-2009, 02:25 AM   #6
Broken Doll
Touching from a distance
 
Broken Doll's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Meanwhile City
I am currently:

*offers a hug*
I am so sorry you are feeling like that. But you're not pathetic! (neather fat).
Please don't kill yourselfe, or anything you migh regret. You say you're scared of loosing anything as well, so don't! I understand how bad you must feel, but please hang in there.
And as Country Girl said, we are all here for you. :]

Broken Doll is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-07-2009, 04:19 AM   #7
moonlet
Natalie.
 
moonlet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Neverwhere
I am currently:

*hughughughug*
I could feel how intensely you're hurting through your words.. and I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something to make it better, but I don't think there's anything that would. I don't know you... but I hope you feel better. I know it is not a good place to be, where you are. PM me whenever you want, okay? I'm a very good listener..

moonlet is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-07-2009, 01:21 PM   #8
dragonfly
A flower for beauty....A heart for love....
 
dragonfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: losing myself with no trace of home
I am currently:

so Tuesday night i saw myself alomost as if it wasn't through my own eyes, i didn't recognise who i was in the mirror.

I looked at my scares and they make me look so ugly, i look at the way my legs wobble when i walk and that just makes me feel even worse.

Even people who know me face to face can't even tell me i'm pretty or anything like that.

i hate it all that much that i can't even cry or cut all i can do is starve myself to get rid of the fat.

I want to die so badly!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To get free from this pain the call my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX

I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.

Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.


dragonfly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-07-2009, 07:12 PM   #9
TinkerDebs
*hugs*
 
TinkerDebs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK; South East
I am currently:

((cuddles))
please dont die hunni
we're here for you

looks aren't what count in life - its what your like as a person!!

how are you feeling now?



The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]

Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!


TinkerDebs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-07-2009, 08:20 PM   #10
dragonfly
A flower for beauty....A heart for love....
 
dragonfly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: losing myself with no trace of home
I am currently:

but no-one really cares what i'm like as a person, they just care about the person they want me to be. I just can't be that person, it's not who i am.

I am still feeling as crap as i was when i wroet the firstpost but i am doing ok reeally.

I have managed notto cut for nearly a week so far even though thats all i can think about.

I'm still carryinng the pills around everywhere with me but still haven't taken any off them.

I know the day will come soon andi knowi won't stop tilli do so much damage that i need help but i don't care, i still need to do itall.

I may have to give into some pain a little later on but i won't give into the pills, i am worth so much more than that, plus i won't children one day and i can't have them if i die.



littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX

I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.

Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.


dragonfly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-07-2009, 08:24 PM   #11
TinkerDebs
*hugs*
 
TinkerDebs's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: UK; South East
I am currently:

i see!!! you shouldnt have to be what others want you to be!! you should be allowed to bwe you! which is where society fails us as humans!!
im glad your carrying on and that youve not self ahrmed in a week
well done for realising that there is life after this phase of feeling crap and always cherish that you want children as i think it'll be a good way of ensuring you can rise above the crappiness to stay safe!!
if you slip up look after yourself and hoepfully it'll give you styrength again in the snese you'll feel able to fight on but sdo your best to resist



The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]

Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!


TinkerDebs is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Members Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Censor is OFF
Forum Jump


Sea Pink Aroma
All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:13 AM.