I hate this pain so much but still don't have the guts to end it all.
I know he loves me and i love him more than he will ever know, i owe him my whole life.
I know i won't feel it right now if i got a chainsaw to my arm and cut it off, i'm that fair away with it right now.
I love him so much, i love all of my friends so much, i love my family (even those we can't choose for ourselves) so so much.
I JUST HATE MYSELF SO MUCH MORE THAN ALL THAT LOVE PUT TOGETHER
I really wish i had the guts like i used to, it would be so easy. The pills are hidden from everyone except me.
No-one could even know about it, just sneak off and do it all myself.
Maybe if i wasn't so scared of really dying, i just need something more destructive than what i am now.
I need to be punished for everything i've done.
EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO ONE REALLY LIKES YOU, IT'S ALL PITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PICK YOURSELF UP, START AGAIN TOMORROW
What if i don't want a tomorrow, what if i'm happy how things are??????!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so ready to end it all, I'm just so scared of losing it all aswell.
You are my life.
For now and always, I love you so much..............
littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX
I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.
Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.
Has something happened to make you feel like this?
I know things are hard now but you can come through this, you don't need to be punished. DO you know why you feel that?
Take care of yourself love
x
You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.
hunni!!
your not a horrible person your really not!!
whats triggered all these dfeelings to intensify so much??
i know things are hard but you've fought through so much that you shouldnt give up now
im glad you dont have the guts to end it because it means you can stay and try to learn to see that this life can be worth living
im sure that its almost impossible to hate yourself more than you love - you love so many that its almost impossible to contain that much hate when your that full of love!!
tell yourself he is your world and know that he is your world and live for that world of just you and him :)
The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]
Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!
Honey, there is nothing wrong with you...I'm sorry things are that bad. Please don't kill yourself though. We are all here for you, talk to us. You're not evil, or stupid or pathetic.... You are beatiful and wonderful!
*offers a hug*
I am so sorry you are feeling like that. But you're not pathetic! (neather fat).
Please don't kill yourselfe, or anything you migh regret. You say you're scared of loosing anything as well, so don't! I understand how bad you must feel, but please hang in there.
And as Country Girl said, we are all here for you. :]
*hughughughug*
I could feel how intensely you're hurting through your words.. and I'm so sorry. I wish I could say something to make it better, but I don't think there's anything that would. I don't know you... but I hope you feel better. I know it is not a good place to be, where you are. PM me whenever you want, okay? I'm a very good listener..
but no-one really cares what i'm like as a person, they just care about the person they want me to be. I just can't be that person, it's not who i am.
I am still feeling as crap as i was when i wroet the firstpost but i am doing ok reeally.
I have managed notto cut for nearly a week so far even though thats all i can think about.
I'm still carryinng the pills around everywhere with me but still haven't taken any off them.
I know the day will come soon andi knowi won't stop tilli do so much damage that i need help but i don't care, i still need to do itall.
I may have to give into some pain a little later on but i won't give into the pills, i am worth so much more than that, plus i won't children one day and i can't have them if i die.
littlewhisper, my guardian angel. I-Love-You XxX
little_miss, such an amazing friend. LoveYou XxX
I hate it, I don't want it, I don't need it, I never want to see it, You can take it, You can break it.
Mummy to my gorgeous wolf cub - 30/10/2013. Our little fighter at 3 weeks early and a tiny 4lbs 14oz.
i see!!! you shouldnt have to be what others want you to be!! you should be allowed to bwe you! which is where society fails us as humans!!
im glad your carrying on and that youve not self ahrmed in a week
well done for realising that there is life after this phase of feeling crap and always cherish that you want children as i think it'll be a good way of ensuring you can rise above the crappiness to stay safe!!
if you slip up look after yourself and hoepfully it'll give you styrength again in the snese you'll feel able to fight on but sdo your best to resist
The Soul Would Have No Rainbows If The Eyes Had Shed No Tears
[Laurel Burch]
Believe in yourself and your dreams. For when you do. You can achieve anything!