Well the father of my baby started to become emotionally and verbally abusive to me the other day so I turned around and said to him that I want nothing to do with him nor will his child have anything to do with him. That shut him up. I got a pathetic apology today but I'm not accepting it.
ummm... believe it or not i was in abusive relationship at 13...
started with hits, then beatings... then it got to the point where he beat me so badly i couldn't fight against him when he *Have issue with R word.. sorry if you think me stupid for that* had sex with me. then i went back again an he did it a second time. moved away 6 months later. told one person who died 3 months after that, then didn't mention it for 3 years. I then being as messed up as i am got into a second abusive relationship (Though non sexual) which ended 2 weeks ago. (Not ready to talk about seond yet)
I'm really proud of you for telling us your story, hon, that can't've been easy. I can relate so much... I met the guy who would turn abusive when I was 13... It's not stupid to have an issue with the R word, I find it extremely hard to say outloud.
And well done on ending that second abusive relationship. That's so brave of you. We're here and ready and listening as and when you're ready to talk about it.
De Stijl - also very well done on standing up to him and keeping you and your baby safe! That was really brave. How are you feeling now? Stay strong. <3
Sorry to resurrect this thread after so long, but I didn't want to make one of my own.
GAHHHHH. I hate my boyfriend today. Sometimes I think I should ask if I can work seven days a week at my job just because it would give me less time to be home getting yelled at by him. He's been at me literally ALL DAY. Even after I left the house, it was calls and texts and voicemails until I got back. I feel so sorry for our new roommate, who must feel so awkward watching it all. It's so damn embarassing. I wish I could afford to get away and just never come back.
I've broken up with him about a million times, but it never seems to stick because:
1. We live together, and I pay all the bills and as a result have no money left to get out of here with.
2. Even though I hate him, I still love him and I don't want him to self-destruct (which he threatens whenever I want to break up).
3. He is the only one who knows about any of my problems, and always threatens to tell my family about them if we break up.
Basically, it comes down to me having no backbone, which I realize, but still can't seem to do anything about. Believe me, I feel pretty damn stupid about it. I KNOW this situation is all wrong, but I can't bring myself to just leave.
*hugs* he's definitely manipulating you. have you ever thought about talking to a counselor about what's going on? maybe they'd have more insights as to how you could get out?
I've never been to a counseler. I don't like to admit that I have problems. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it makes it hard for me to get help from anyone other than on here. I can't imagine talking about this sort of thing with another person face to face.
It is something to consider though. Maybe if I could get to one without anyone I know ever knowing about it, haha.
this is a very good idea for a thread
my boyfriend and I are finally working things out after emotional abuse on my side and physical abuse on his.. neither of us are proud of those months :/
*hugs* I'm in the same situation, I was engaged to my g/f, and we were both horrible to each otehr part of the time b/c we have trust/communication issues
but after a 3 month break we're working things out
and I couldn't be happier to be honest
“Because everything that goes around comes around. Maybe it's luck or maybe it's fate, but either way, it comes back around."
Rest in Love Sar-sis. I'll see you the next time around hopefully <3 12/11/92-05/18/16
AJs mommy ❤️ 11/26/17
Married to my best friend and Soulmate 3/5/18 ❤️💍
My first real relationship was terrible.
It started out strangely . . . he sort of joined my group of friends, and in the beginning, I hated him. He was rude and abrasive, said really degrading things, and was generally not a fun person. But after hanging out with him a little, I started to find myself strangely attracted to him. When we started dating, he was sweet in a way I hadn't expected . . . he was gentlemanly, made me feel special, told me how lucky he was to have me. He took my virginity. It was an awful experience. He had been with so many girls . . . I felt used afterward. I cried for hours. But things still seemed okay between us after that. The first thing he did was turn me against all of my friends. Before long, he and his best friend were the only friends that I had. I spent all of my free time with him. I'd cook his food for him, clean his room, do his (college-level) homework on top of my own (high school but still college-level) homework. He'd get upet with me for going out without telling him first, hanging out with people he didn't like, going anywhere where there were other boys . . . he was bipolar, so I had to constantly watch what I did or said. He never once hit me, but his temper was terrifying. He told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'd kill me. And I still believe that he was serious. He frequently had dreams where he'd learn that I had cheated on me and subsequently killed me in various bloody, violent, degrading ways, and he told me about each and every one of them. Pretty soon, he didn't like it when I spent time with my family instead of him. If I didn't call him as soon as I got off work, or as soon as he got off work, or if I wasn't around to answer the phone when he called, he'd be furious. He'd demand sexual favors from me all the time, then just laugh when I asked for them. It didn't matter whether or not I was in the mood - we only had sex when he wanted to, and if he wanted to, I'd better go along with it. He put me down all the time, then would just get irritated and say he was just joking if I got upset about it. I don't know why I stayed with him for so long, but I finally got out about 3 months ago. Even after I got out, though, he's still managed to keep me in fear. Recently, he texted me telling me he'd heard I was spreading rumors about him, and threatened to come to my house (I've moved since we broke up, but he knows where my new house is too) and 'punish me' for what I had said. Luckily, I diffused the situation, but still . . . I hate that he can still scare me.
I have a lot of anger. Some of it's toward him, but most of it is toward myself. I recently started dating someone else, and he is a million times the man that my ex is. It's so nice to finally be treated like a person.
I don't know if I should be allowed to feel like a victim. I'm very confused about my emotions and I feel like I have absolutely no one to talk to. I don't know what I feel, what I should feel, what is normal . . . I can't find any information anywhere on coping with the abuse afterwards. I don't even know if what I went through can be called abuse. I mean, I chose to stay with him. I let him do those things to me. Am I still allowed to feel like a victim if I had the option of leaving the whole time? I mean, I did leave twice before I finally actually left him. Why didn't I just stay out? Why couldn't I just realize and accept that he treated me horribly? Why did I let him do those things to me? I absolutely hate myself for how much I changed for him. I have so many emotions in me . . . I feel like the way I relate to other people is skewed. Although I treasure this new boy that I've found, I can't help but sometimes feel scared that I'm getting myself into another situation exactly like the last one.
I just want someone to make it all better. I want someone to tell me what to think and feel, and I want someone to tell me how to fix myself. I'm sick of feeling broken.
For 3 years on and off I was in an abusive relationship. He would do things and say things to tear me apart. He was emotionally abusive to me. He also put a wedge between my sister and me. '
The sad thing is... My sis tried to tell me he wasn't good for me... Now I'm realizing it. I finally had enough of his bull and cut contact with him. I was engaged to him at one point and was going to move in with him next summer.
I'm still feeling the effects of the abuse and I can't stop thinking about him. Part of me wants to contact him again, but I know he will pull me into his trap.
Now I can't trust anyone or let anyone close to me. It sux.