So, it's been two days since I last cut. I know, I know.. that's not much of a recovery time. But hey, we all have to start somewhere right? Making it past two days actually is quite the accomplishment for me so lets hope I can make it further! I'm planning on getting a tattoo over my scars as soon as they heal. Yay for incentives!
If anyone has any advice for me to keep me on the track to recovery please don't be shy!
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
Two days is more than you are giving yourself credit it for. Think how long it's been since you manage to accomplish that.
A tattoo is a great idea, perhaps you could put one of those fake ones on for the time being to remind yourself or writing a message on your arm/leg or wherever it is that you cut.
Some people find counting the days help, I personally don't but if it helps for you then go ahead and do that.
Have you got rid of all your blades/tools? If not then maybe that could be something you could think about doing.
With the incentives thing, perhaps each week you are free you could treat yourself to something you like. You could even make yourself a sticker chart (I know it sounds a bit childish) but it does help some people.
If the cuts/scars are on your arms then perhaps you could treat yourself to a nice top or if on your legs then a nice skirt or shorts.
If I think of any other ideas I'll let you know.
Amy x
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
@forever_lost: I'm not sure yet. I can't decide if I want to completely cover my scars or have them show a little to serve as a reminder. Though I think the tattoo itself would do that. I drew a little sketch a while ago, it was a lotus flower with two lily pads on the sides and across the flower was a banner and a blade and on the banner I was going to put something like "never again" or something. Or I was thinking to get "love" since the scars are on my wrist.. so it would go with the TWLOHA idea.
@AmyShmamy: Great ideas! I was actually thinking that getting rid of my tools would be a great first step since it would be pretty hard to cut if they weren't there to tempt me. I'm gonna go to Walmart after school and get some fake tattoos, a calendar and some stickers :) Thanks for the wonderful ideas!
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
Glad you're gonna do all that, that awesome steps you are making! Happy to help in any way I can (: I'm only a PM away if you're struggling or just need a chat.
'Cause I'll always remember you the same.
Oh eyes like wild flowers within demons of change ♥
That sounds beautiful! I love lotus flowers. So peaceful and pretty :) One day when you get it, you should take a picture and let us all see!
LOVE the sticker chart idea. Now I wish I would've done that for myself when I was quitting lol.
I used to like to count days differently sometimes. Like, within a month or a week.
So for instance, instead of 4 days free, then a slip up, and start counting all over from zero, just total the days free vs. slip up days at the end of the month/week.
That way, I could say "I only hurt myself 10 days this month, but was free for 20" or "I hurt myself 5 times this week, but was at least free for 2 days,"
instead of saying "the longest I've gone without hurting myself this month has been 4 days"
I don't know if that makes sense, but it made me feel more positive, because even when I slipped up, I could focus on "it's just one day, I can fight this better tomorrow and keep going" rather than "great, now I have to start from zero again..." It's more of a 'big picture' view. Just a thought. :)
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
3 days!! :) I like everyone's ideas. I'll have to try a little of each. :) thanks! And I'll post a pic of the tattoo when I get it! Right now it's at my '6 months without serious self harm reward' so hopefully I'll make it to that!!
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
4 days, but I can feel myself slipping.. I'm becoming weaker everyday.. I feel like I'm not good enough nor never will be so why should I try? Ugh. But I have to stay strong! I have to!
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
4 days, but I can feel myself slipping.. I'm becoming weaker everyday.. I feel like I'm not good enough nor never will be so why should I try? Ugh. But I have to stay strong! I have to!
4 days is amazing!!!
You ARE good enough, it just takes time. <3 But you're worth it and you'll get there!
Stay strong xx
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
The first few days were the most difficult for me; when it's past a week you pressure yourself not to throw it away.
All I can say is keep going. You CAN and WILL beat this :)
Take too many pictures, laugh too much and love like you've never been hurt because every 60seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back
...don't be afraid your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.
One more day and it'll be a week! I finally gave in and asked my mom if I could go back to counseling, so hopefully that will help me too!
Thanks for your words of encouragement everyone!! :)
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
I went out and bought a calendar last week and for each day that I don't cut I put a sticker on the calendar. It feels so rewarding to see a week full of stickers! :)
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
Dairychick92: 2 days will soon turn into 2 months, and 2 months into 2 years.
I made it 2 days without self harm. Then 2 weeks, then all of a sudden it had been a year. Now it's been 2 years, 2 months and 2 days.
It's a very hard battle, especially if you've been doing it a long time like I had, but it is a battle that CAN be won. For every week I made it without cutting, I rewarded myself with having my nails painted.
Then it went to every month and now it's every few months unless I start really struggling again. It's SUCH a good idea to have positive reinforcement, it just makes it that bit easier. And it makes you feel like someone is appreciating your struggle and rewarding you for fighting through it.
Well done with making it past a week. So proud of you :)
Like has been said above, once you get past certain milestones, you pressure yourself into not doing it because you think 'I've made it X weeks/months/years, I don't want to have to start again and disappoint myself.' I'm very much like that and it works!
~The Difficulties That We Face Are Not There To Run Us Over. They Are There To Challenge And Strengthen Us.~
I went out and bought a calendar last week and for each day that I don't cut I put a sticker on the calendar. It feels so rewarding to see a week full of stickers! :)
I do the same, but with a diary. I felt like cutting once, but I didnt because I didnt want to mess up my diary! I put butterfly sticker on each day - because it represents the butterfly project. I havent SHed this year, so it works for me.
Anyway, well done!
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
Survival and Insig: Congrats on both of you for making it as far as you have :) And thanks for the words of encouragement.
It's almost been 2 weeks for me :). I got rid of the tool I used the 2nd day and slowly the urge to cut is starting to dwindle. I've met some pretty amazing people on this site :) I think that helps alot too. It's so nice being able to talk to people that understand what I'm going through and won't leave me because of it.
So a big thanks to everyone on here!! :)
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
Survival and Insig: Congrats on both of you for making it as far as you have :) And thanks for the words of encouragement.
It's almost been 2 weeks for me :). I got rid of the tool I used the 2nd day and slowly the urge to cut is starting to dwindle.
No problem.
I got rid of the blades I used about a month ago, with the help of my CPN. So I can relate to how it feels!
Wannabe CPN : -)
"He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life." - Homer Simpson "I hear those voices that will not be drowned" Sanity is a nasty disease. The world would be a happier place without it. - Rilic
RIP Kat 4th July 1987- 11th June 2013
I'm slipping :( depressed.. lost another really close friend cuz of my depression.. and just want to cut so badly right now.. why am i never good enough for anyone? why does everyone i care about ignore me and leave me on my own when i need them most? :'(
I know where my blades are.. i could do it right now.. but i'd ruin my almost 2 weeks of no cutting.. but i cant resist right now :(
i know i've said this before.. but what does it matter anymore? i'm not going to be good enough for anyone so why should i try? why should i care? why shouldnt i just cut? i don't have any one else to lose if i do cut.. they all left me already..
i'll keep you updated.. but i fear that i'm going to end my streak tonight.. is anyone there? is anyone listening to me? will anyone just talk to me? :(
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.
Hope you're doing alright <3 There's nothing wrong with you and you deserve to have friends that will stay by you. You are plenty good enough and it matters because you are worthy of respect. We're still here for you <3
Giving up doesn't always mean you're weak.
Sometimes it just means you're strong enough to let go.
I"m hanging in there. Trying not to focus on losing all my friends. I'm working on making new friends that hopefully will be there for me. Thanks for being here for me :)
2 weeks! :)
I've been putting fake tattoos on my scars. I stole the butterfly project idea. but instead i found these tattoos that are all quotes and I've found that it covers it all perfectly :)
We stopped looking under our bed for monsters,
when we realized they were inside of us.